Parenthood is one of the most amazing, rewarding journeys you can take. Just think about it - you made a tiny human being and are responsible for molding them into kind, functioning people! That's ... wild. It's hilarious and scary and infuriating and stressful, often all at once. When you become a parent, you are granted admission into a very exclusive club of moms and dads trying to get this whole thing right. Which is great, because parenting can feel very isolating at times. It really helps to know that we're not alone, and someone somewhere has had or is having the same experiences. It's also comforting to know that no matter how wild/weird/hard your day was, there's someone out there who can relate.
That's why we love reading funny tweets from parents - they make us laugh, bring some much needed levity to a hard day, and help us feel a little less alone in this whole parenting thing. These are some of the funniest tweets from parents in recent weeks, and we're pretty sure you'll relate to every single one.
All parents want is for our kids to go to bed so we can watch a show with bad words in it and eat the hidden snacks.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 30, 2019
Seriously. Just go to sleep! We need a little adult time to unwind, and that might include some definitely NSFK (not safe for kids) TV shows. If we're lucky, we get a solid 15 minutes of watching in before we fall asleep on the couch. That's why it takes 3 days to watch one episode of anything.
Teen [on hold]: It says to put in my card number followed by the pound sign.— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) January 31, 2019
Teen: What’s a pound sign?
Me: Ugh. It’s the hashtag symbol.
Teen: THEN WHY DON’T THEY JUST SAY THAT.
Me: This is why no one my age likes anyone your age.
It's always fun when you get the chance to blow your kid's mind by showing them how we used to make phone calls. The wires alone are completely foreign to them.
Never not vacuuming - a parental memoir— Phoni Stark (@Steph_I_Will) January 29, 2019
What is it about kids and crumbs?! Our kids can somehow leave behind a pile of crumbs while eating grades. It's like they keep them in their pockets to sprinkle everywhere. Sort of like gritty fairy dust that attracts ants.
My daughter woke me up at 5 am to urgently tell me "any balloon spongebob blows up is technically a water balloon" & I have not been able to fall back asleep— Pigeon Fancier (@isabelzawtun) January 26, 2019
Their brains work on a completely different level, and kids will occasionally blow your mind with some realization or thought they had.
The difference between an amateur parent & a veteran is knowing to ask, after your child says they’ve showered:— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) January 30, 2019
We have no idea where they got the idea that you can shower without soap or shampoo, but we'll be damned if they don't try to get away with it nearly every time.
I can’t talk to other parents. It always feels like they’re just trying to “one-up” my struggles:— Jessica (@MrsFant_Sea) January 29, 2019
I have 2 kids
They have 7
Mine are only 15 months apart
They had triplets
I only got 4 hours of sleep
They had 30 minutes
My kid had colic
Theirs is an actual foghorn
It's not a competition, right? Tell that to the preschool mom who hired a bouncy house for the class party for the head pats. Calm down, people.
Me: Time for bed.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 30, 2019
4-year-old: No, it's not.
Me: You can't tell time.
4: I can tell you're wrong.
But it's even worse when they actually learn to tell time. No more lying or trying to trick them into bed earlier, no sirree! They can read a clock now. It's the end of the world as we know it.