Friends, there are dark days upon us. All over the country, kids bounded out of school doors on Friday, high on the prospect of an entire week off. Or two weeks! Did you know some kids get TWO WEEKS OFF for spring break?! We know this, because we have one of those lucky kids. But since Christmas break felt like it was just a couple of weeks ago, the idea of having the kids off school for 5 straight days seems particularly cruel.
Maybe you've got a fun family trip planned. Or maybe you're just going to throw caution to the wind and wing it for the next several days. No matter how you play spring break, we know it's going to be a struggle. So here's to a week-long "vacation," parents. May these funniest parenting tweets from the week get you through the darkest times ahead.
My kids have been in bed for 30 minutes, and I have been scrolling social media and half-assedly watching Peppa Pig for 30 minutes without noticing. In case you were wondering what Mom Brain really does to you.— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) March 19, 2019
Our car radio has been stuck on Radio Disney for like two months, and we are in no hurry to change it. Say what you will about kid shows and music, they can be pretty entertaining.
Kiddo: Can I have a rit?— ▪️EffYeahSteph▪️ (@eff_yeah_steph) March 20, 2019
Me: A what now?
Kiddo: A rit. *holds up a single Ritz cracker*
This logic is ... surprisingly accurate. And kudos to the kid for being able to use plurals properly! That is a concept that most adults on the internet have yet to fully grasp.
[Calling doctor's office]— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) March 20, 2019
Lady: When is your child's birthday?
Me: *panic* click
OK listen. First kid? You remember it all. Birthday, birth weight, the exact day and time they said their first word or took their first step. Add in subsequent children, and all that information goes right out the window. We're lucky if we even call them by the correct name most of the time.
30% of parenting is just asking,— The Dad Briefs™ (@SladeWentworth) March 20, 2019
“Why is this wet?”
Or, what is that smell? Is that chocolate or poop? How long has this sippy full of milk been shoved in between the couch cushions? Parenting is fun.
The first hour of getting your kids dressed for school is always the toughest.— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) March 18, 2019
Everyday is an adventure when it comes to getting kids dressed in the morning. And don't think you can avoid this song and dance by picking out their clothes the night before. In their sleep, they will develop an aversion to the clothes you both picked out the night before, the likes of which you've never seen.
My 3yo banged on the bathroom door and demanded I let him in just so he could serve me some imaginary tea. I’m both impressed with and disturbed by his commitment.— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) March 16, 2019
Sure, you might need to poop, but clearly your kid knows how dangerous pouring a piping hot cup of IMAGINARY TEA can be.
Good morning to everyone except the two of my kids that had a 6:40am screaming match about what our cat’s middle name probably is.— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 17, 2019
The most important conversations and questions your kid could ever possibly have are the ones that pop into their brains before the sun has even risen in the morning sky.