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The Funniest Parenting Tweets From This Week Are Dead Funny

You guys, it's April. When did that even happen?! Pretty soon it'll be Easter, then Memorial Day, then school will be out and we'll be staring into the cold black eyes of an entire summer to entertain our kids and make magical memories. Truth be told, we are 100% ready for summer and pool parties and weekend trips. But we're sort of hoping the rest of the year slows down a bit. Because we need some more time to prepare. In the mean time, we'll ignore all the big stuff coming, and sit here and laugh at these parenting tweets from the last week.

Life in general would be a whole lot more interesting and fun if there were more horses, tbh. Someone should get on that.

Kids are the sweetest, creepiest little beings on the entire planet. We're not entirely sure they're not some sort of human-ghost hybrid. How are you supposed to sleep when your darling child says something like that right before bed?!

We're not super into the mercury in retrograde thing - we have small kids, so life is always sort of chaotic and insane. But we are 100% down with anything that allows us to blame all of our problems and mistakes on something else. Mercury in gatorade, indeed.

Despite several reminders, a shared family calendar, and daily texts laying out the day's activities, there's always someone who doesn't know what the hell is going on. That someone is never us.

Oh, the treasures that exist under mom's bathroom cabinet! Listen, playing with tampons and maxi pads is a right of passage for kids, and kudos to the one who try to shoot them like pillowy little bullets.

It's actually mind-blowing how long kids can survive on snacks. But do they have to make them so crumby? Someone needs to come up with a cracker and cereal that don't deposit an actual ton of tiny crumbs all over the entire house. Feels like walking on the beach sometimes.

This is the true test for parents: how long can you last before you completely lose your entire ish while your toddler is all I CAN DO IT MYSELF all over your damn kitchen. If you could do it yourself, Short Stuff, we wouldn't be wading through an entire gallon of milk on the floor right now.

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