The end of a week can feel like cause for celebration when you're a parent. Congratulations! You made it another seven days as a parent, and everyone is relatively alive and more or less happy! We really embrace the lowest baseline for success. You take what you get and you don't throw a fit, right? Some days are hard, other days are harder, but every single day feels like a win once those darling little monsters are in bed. Then you get to wake up and do it all over again the next day.

Take the weekend to recuperate, and recharge your soul with the funniest parenting tweets from last week. Laugh so you don't cry!

Honestly, it's just the decent thing to do! You can't split one between two kids, and you can't not give a kid a cookie. So level the playing field and just eat them all, the kids will thank you later.

There is really no witty retort here. Because that kid is speaking some uncomfortable truths and we just have to accept that and put the movie in. Touché, you darling little jerk. Touché.

It never fails: your kid finally has a favorite food that isn't a cracker or chip or cookie, so you go out and buy a month's supply of that food and vow to feed it to them at every meal until you run around. AS SOON AS YOU DO THIS, your kid will hate that food. Mark our words. We have no idea how a kid could dislike cheese, but somehow our kids manage to surprise us in new and annoying ways every single day.

Those best actors and actresses have nothing on a kid who is bound and determined to not go to school. Kids pretending to be sick give actual sick kids a real run for their money in terms of drama and overreacting. At some point you just have to applaud their performance and let them stay home, they definitely earned it.

Birthdays are for celebrating ... and pouring one out for the good ol' days. We love you kiddo, happy birthday! Thanks for completely changing/ruining the good life we had going! Now make a wish!

This is the worst. Get them tired during the day and they'll go to sleep without a problem and sleep well at night! WHOSE KIDS DO THIS?! No one, that's whose. All this does is exhaust mom and dad and somehow give the kids superhuman energy.

A kid could be starving and dehydrated on a desert island, be offered a sandwich without the crusts cut off and a glass of non-chocolate milk, and they would refuse it and then complain about being starving and dehydrated.

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