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The Funniest Parenting Tweets This Week Will Leave You Giggling

Something funny happens to our kids around this time of year. We're not sure if it's the readjustment coming off of spring break, or that it's finally nice enough to play outside so they want to live like ferals and not follow the rules anymore. Maybe it's that they can practically taste summer and freedom. But lordy, they have been one one lately! Have you noticed it with your own kids? We're not going to lie, we're excited for spring and the school year winding down, too. But we still conduct ourselves like rational human beings.

While we ponder if our kids have finally gone off the deep-end, here's some funny parenting tweets to laugh at so we don't cry.

Listen, you do what you have to do to leave the house once you have a baby. If you want to sit down at a restaurant and enjoy a meal from start to finish, sometimes you need some help. And sometimes that help comes in the form of a constantly whirling fan for them to stare at.

If you're going to do this (and it's fine, no judgement here!), make sure you don't do it in full view of any of your other children. That will open a can of worms that you will never fully close again. Not that we would know anything about that or whatever.

Order your kid a water and they will take half a sip throughout the entire meal. Order your kid a non-refillable drink and they will pour it into their maws over and over again. It's science.

Speaking of taking your kids out to eat, free bread or chips and salsa or whatever is the devil. When you seat a family with children, ALWAYS SECRETLY ASK THE PARENTS IF THEY WANT BREAD. Placing a bread basket on a table in front of "carbivores" is just begging for a wasted meal.

They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. But they have clearly never met a small child. Because a small child's trash is also their treasure and god forbid you try to actually throw the accumulated garbage away.

Our tombstones will read, "Here lies Mom, she died after being asked for a snack 2 minutes after giving her kids a snack".

First-borns really have no idea how good they had it. Brand new everything, organic, homemade food, mom and dad's full attention at all times. Subsequent kids may not get all the good stuff, but they are hearty AF.

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