Fear of the dark is very common in children of all ages, and sometimes it creeps up on our kids without warning. A child that seemed otherwise unaffected by the dark can suddenly develop a very real fear of being alone in their rooms when the lights go out.
There are many things that we, as parents can do to ease the troubled minds of our young ones when they face this very real fear, the first being to recognize that we may never truly understand why or how this fear developed in the first place. Keeping the lines of communication open is suggested by Better Health, as this may be a good way to begin to understand the triggers that lead to the fear, before it sets in.
It may seem very simple to us to just tell our children they have nothing to worry about, but that's not enough to put them at ease. Rest assured there are some tried, tested, and true methods that can definitely help with this transitional phase.
Talk It Out
While seemingly a simple strategy, talking to your child about their fear may bring about some comfort on its own. People of all ages find comfort in talking about their feelings and their fears, and if you're able to validate your child's concerns, they may feel better just understanding that you can appreciate that this is very real for them. Discussing their concerns helps them shed some of the anxiety, rather than keeping all their feelings cooped up inside.
Anxious Toddlers recommends that parents let their children know "that you understand that they are scared and that it is normal to have a fear of the dark." It's important to resist the temptation to joke about this topic, or to just tell them "they are fine," as clearly, if they're expressing this fear, they are not 'fine' at all.
Incorporating Fun Night Lights
Long gone are the days of conventional night lights. Parents now have a slew of creative light concepts at their disposal, and we encourage the use of all of them! There are a number of fun lights that are battery operated, along with those that are intended to be plugged in. You'll even be able to find some lights that project images onto the wall. You can easily alter a child's "dark" room into a wall full of stars, some planets, and a beautiful moon, with the help of some affordable projection toys.
Not only will this add some dim lighting to the room, but it also adds a fun element, and helps children to associate the dark with a fun activity rather than fear. Incorporating fun lighting options will work wonders when it comes to easing your child's anxiety.
Check-In Frequently
Fear of the dark is sometimes a combined fear of being alone in the dark. It's never as scary to be in a dark room with someone as it is to be feeling vulnerable and completely alone. What To Expect suggests frequent check-ins to ease children through their battles against the shadows on their walls. Kids that are scared are more apt to call you in to their rooms frequently, or to wander out of their rooms and into yours.
Ultimately, this means they aren't addressing the issue and are finding ways to escape the dark instead. If your child has the reassurance of knowing you'll be pacing the hallways and ensuring their safety, they'll be more likely to stay tucked in, awaiting your next check-in to ensure their safety.
Have Fun In The Dark
Glow sticks, glow bracelets, light up toys, and shadow puppets are examples of positive experiences your child can have in the dark. Transitioning from a lit room to a dark room may be too stark a difference and the abrupt "lights out" might be too much for a youngster to tackle on their own.
Showing them that the darkness brings about some opportunities for excitement and fun times may help them wrap their minds around the fact that turning the lights off is not always associated with anxiety and uncomfortable thoughts. The darkness can exhibit elements of entertainment and positivity, and tapping in to the good things that can be experienced in the dark may go a long way for your little one.
Minimizing Triggers
As your children lay their heads down and are alone in a silent, dark room, they may very well be reliving the day's events in their minds. This is a time for their mind to wander, recall events and feelings, and to process things about their day. Better Health suggests that parents do their best to ensure their child's thoughts aren't scary ones that have been influenced by inappropriate imaging.
Take note of what your child is hearing and seeing throughout the day, specifically just before bed time. Scary movies, television shows that are not targeted for their age group, and the daily news are sometimes too much for your child's young mind to take in. Whenever possible, transition your child's bed routine by going through a series of calming exercises, read a happy book, or put on some soft music that encourages relaxation.