Tiger parenting. This term was probably born after Amy Chua's book was read by thousands of people. Chua's memoir was titled Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and it was in the New York Times Best Sellers list for weeks. There might be a lot of things we know about the concept of tiger parenting, it is one way to discipline and motivate a child, that one we know for a fact. But is that all there is? Did Amy Chua mention things in her memoir that is getting lost in translation today? We have ten facts in this article that some parents might not know about tiger parenting.
10 The Perceptions
Amy Chua's book came out too strong for some parents, some reviews found a connection to what she shared in her life as a mother. Tiger parenting or being a tiger mom might be getting perceived today by some as a strict, very demanding method of parenting a child with their studies, extra-curricular activities, and even with regard to friendships. Parents say that what a child should usually experience is being withheld if they are being brought up through tiger parenting. This is the perception, initially what people see and hear, and mostly the unnatural ones tend to be remembered, but it is for a fact more complicated than just being a strict parent.
9 The teachings of Confucius
The most popular political figure in China still is Confucius. But more than that, he is also a famed philosopher and teacher. The wizard of Chinese ethics, family and educational standards also goes by the name of K'ung Fu-tzu and Kong Qui. His Sistine Chapel was Confucianism, a philosophy that is practiced religiously by a billion Chinese people and the same beliefs are applied on how to parent a child. This is particularly put in a term called filial piety, xiào in Chinese, and means total obedience to a parent, 100 percent loyalty. It's not just during the formative years, or pre-adult years, but for life.
8 Chinese culture
Basically, the Chinese culture is shaped by Confucianism and the five virtues of said philosophy. Chinese culture, from an outsider's perspective, can be described mainly by three of these five Confucianism virtues. Knowledge (Zhi), integrity and faithfulness (Xin), and social manners and behavior (Li). The Chinese have generally good social skills due to these values. Parents are there for their children, to protect them all the time. Children, in turn, obey the parents, no questions asked, 100 percent loyalty. If these are the teachings and what the culture follows and believes for hundreds of years, tiger parenting is the norm and anything but is just atrocious.
7 Chinese school system
Think back on all those high-school themed teen movies you've watched. The chaos in the classroom and how students behave is the exact opposite of how students behave in a Chinese classroom. It may be due to the number of students in a classroom, which is relatively higher than an average American classroom, but asking questions is not really encouraged while in class. Group projects to promote teamwork is not common, making individual competition the norm inside the classroom. One more thing is that students still have daily homework, monitored by parents, even though it's the summer break in July and August.
6 The Pillar Theory
The woman named was the person who created the standard for parenting. He classified them into three kinds: authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive. She was an American psychologist based in California and her research was the gold standard into fully understanding children’s behavior and the appropriate parenting styles for every type of child and parent. The biggest problem when trying to understand tiger parenting is that the research Baumrind made was entirely based on American families and their customs, practices, and beliefs. The fact is that one cannot judge a tiger parent's methods using the Pillar Theory.
5 Culture clash
It would not be so shocking to think now that the Chinese traditions of parenting might seem so extreme from another parent's eyes, most especially a westerner. Chinese families migrating to America, or to a different country far from East Asia, have only their beliefs and customs to hold onto. Living in a different world where everything's changed and everyone they meet is new, they have no choice but to hold dear to what's familiar to them. It's the contrast between the way an American student is brought up from a Chinese-born American student. We didn't even have to mention tiger parenting, the differences alone are glaring enough.
4 This style seems bad
Parents today think that tiger parenting is not the way children are supposed to enjoy their younger years. They are supposed to find out what they want for themselves, discover on their own what it is they are born to do, their passion in life, to say it emphatically. Other parents would say that these are kids, young minds that know no better what they want to do for their future. Maybe tiger parenting is a good way to guide them to a successful future. Good or bad, that's not the question. The question is who's asking. If it is an open-minded parent willing to try new things, it could be good. If it is a skeptical one, then it might come off as a bad idea for them.
3 Can I do it with my kids
Chua, her editors, and publishers, would not release her memoir if they had the slightest doubt that tiger parenting is borderline child abuse if it didn't already cross that line. Some parents out there may have been thinking it over for a long time now, should they do it with their kids. What we can do is assess our own situation, it depends entirely on the age of our child. Kids aged about six and higher will not agree with the drastic change in parenting. They've been used to their parents being authoritative or lenient, used to let them go out after school or play video games, that a simple change in the house rules could be catastrophic to the dynamic in the household.
2 Some undesirables
1 The Big Win
Whatever perceptions people have on tiger parenting, they cannot deny the fact that it really works. Amy Chua was the one who coined the term, and she will stand by it no matter what. Her big win after writing her memoir was in the form of her daughter, Sophia, who graduated Philosophy from Harvard in 2015. We also forget that Amy Chua was brought up the same way and here she is today, a professor, an author and a lawyer. The success of the mother of all tiger parents is evident and a fact that can’t be denied by all the skeptics.
Successful children of Chua, Confucius defines filial piety as things you thought you would never do as a parent.