Experts Say It's Almost Never OK To Call Your Ex

woman on phone

Should you be calling your ex-partner or ex-husband after a break up? The obvious answer, of course, is no, but here’s why experts think that calling your ex might potentially do you more harm than good. While there is nothing wrong with calling your ex-boyfriend after a mutual break up is OK, there are several things to keep in mind after a break up. After all, both parties are dealing with a hurricane of different emotions that are pulling them in several directions. Did you make the right call by ending the relationship? Or was it a spur-of-the-moment decision that you now regret? Or could there be someone else in your life and you simply want to just test your feelings to see if there’s any spark left with your ex before moving on.

Author Diana Dorell, of The Dating Mirror: Trust Love Again, Love Again admits there are plenty of reasons why women do reach out to their exes, but that’s not because you necessarily want to get back together with them. Instead, it might be that you are wanting to fill the void you are currently feeling. That, or confirm to yourself that you might or might not have made the right decision in parting ways.

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"We miss them, are feeling lonely, and especially if the relationship was one where you felt very emotionally supported and you broke up for other reasons, it can be hard to let that go!" Dorell told Elite Daily in an interview.

woman hand on phone
Credit: iStock / chabybucko

She added, "If you are currently single or having a down day, it's common to want to reach back out to an ex for validation, feeling supported or just the familiarity of someone who knows you and at one time, loved you!"

However, if there are no urgent matters that you need to take care of with your ex, like a shared bank or cell phone account, there’s really no reason for you to call them. As a matter of fact, all of the reasons listed above will only further complicated your break up and any attempt to remain friends even though you are no longer romantically involved.

One thing to keep in mind is that your ex might have moved on with someone else in their life. If you randomly make a phone call to them, this might indicate that you are still interested in them, either physically or emotionally, and might send the wrong signals to both your ex and their new lover.

Plus, health and relationship experts agree that you don’t need to talk to an ex in order to get closure. The best thing to do is simply move on. Unless you really have a reason to call, refrain. They’ve become your “ex” for a good reason.

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