As a mom, we feel that we always need to be in control of our emotions. That, for the sake of our children, we need to make sure that we are always presenting in a calm and controlled way. Since mom is human, this is not always easy, and what normally follows when mom is angry is a heaping dose of mom guilt. Maybe her anger caused her to raise her voice or overreact to a situation that didn’t really deserve it. All of these actions can keep mom up at night feeling like she is the worst mom in the world.
However, mom shouldn’t be so quick to judge herself because anger is a normal emotion, and maybe mom needs to stop looking at anger the way she does, and start seeing it as a positive. According to The Pragmatic Parent, there is a lot to learn from anger, and it may not be as bad as we think it is.
All Emotions Are Treated Equally
It is time that moms realize that all emotions are treated the same, and they all have purpose. Anger, being a negative emotion, can sometimes feel like it doesn’t have a purpose, but it does. Emotions are ways our brain gets information. When we feel happy, sad and angry, messages are sent to our brain that tell us how to feel, act, or react to a certain situation.
When we experience anger, the signal that our brain is getting is that something isn’t right. There is a situation happening that is causing us to feel not too good, and it is a clue for us to change something. According to Good Therapy, anger is a very primal emotion and it is linked back to basic survival skills.
What Can We Learn?
Since we know that anger is trying to tell us something is not right, the important thing to do with anger is figure out what is not working and fix it. This is what moms (and everyone) can learn from their anger. Take a second to evaluate your surroundings and try and figure out what exactly it was that angered you.
Anger is also a way to provide you a sense of control. When a person knows how to control their anger, they have a better sense of control on their lives and surroundings. Anger is a signal that we are not in control, and it is an indication to do something about it.
Get Things Done
Since anger works as a very strong motivation, it can also help moms get things accomplished. According to Psychology Today, mom can use that anger to push her to get things done. If mom was angry that she didn’t finish her laundry or because she is having a hard time balancing work and home life, she can use that emotion to problem-solve and work on how she can remedy the situation. This will only be beneficial to her mental health.
Anger Can Make You A Better Mother
There is a myth out there that anger and fights are damaging to relationships, but experts think that is simply not true. Moms and children are prone to butting heads, and this may not always be a bad thing. When we disagree and get angry with each other, we learn about each other’s boundaries. Children are going to learn about what the boundaries of mom are and mom will learn her children’s boundaries. This can help everyone in a family work together to have a more cohesive relationship.
Sources: Psychology Today, Good Therapy, The Pragmatic Parent