Being a parent is hard, but being a single parent can feel at times overwhelming. Working, taking care of your little ones, and you need to focus on yourself too. There can be a point where you are ready to start putting yourself out there and start dating again. But dating with kids is a lot different than when you were by yourself.
Though you still should focus on yourself, you will always think about your kids when going on a date and going out with someone special. So keep reading to discover ten things your kids wish you knew about your dating life.
10 They Know It's Awkward
When you start dating again, it can be hard for you to bring it up to your kids and just know that your kids know it’s going to be awkward. Your kids are going to be thrilled to see your happy, but it doesn’t change the fact that this is awkward. It’s awkward to see your parents get all dolled up to go out with someone.
They don’t know how to act when you mention you are going out and that is okay. Sometimes you just need to embrace the awkwardness and let this be your normal until you find someone who makes you happy.
9 They Don’t Want It To Be A Secret
A mistake that many single parents make when starting to date is keeping this part a secret from their children. But kids want you to be honest with them. Sure you do not have to mention that you are going on dates with different people or what the dates where.
But being honest that we are seeing people can help your child understand that you are not just their parents, but you are also a person who wants to be able to connect with others. So don’t keep your dating a secret and instead be honest with your kids.
8 They Are Nervous Just Like You
Just like you dating is going to be a bit awkward for you and your kids, your kids are going to be a bit nervous about it. This is not because they think you are going to find someone who is not going to like them, but because this is a new venture for them as it is for you.
Dating can bring up a lot of emotions and if you are dating with kids they are going to have feelings about you dating too. So don’t worry about your kids being nervous, this is just a new venture for the both of you, so just take it one day at a time.
7 They Might Get A Bit Jealous (By Accident)
Of course, your kids are happy you are putting yourself back out there to meet new people. Since no one is perfect, they might end up getting a bit jealous of you going out. This can even manifest without it being intentional.
Their jealousy is them just realizing that you are not giving them attention 100% of the time and they might get a bit angry or withdrawn. So if you see this happening with your kids then you might want to take them out for some special time with you too!
6 They Trust Your Judgement
When you are going out on a date, you might be thinking: is this person going to be a good fit for me and my kids? That is a valid question to ask yourself. But your kids know that whoever you are spending your time with is going to be a good person.
Know that you have kids who can read people better and this is going to help you stay away from anyone who is not interested in the right things. So don’t stress out about finding the perfect person every time you go out, the person you will keep seeing is going to come easily for you to pick out.
5 They Want Them To Be Introduced In Small Steps
There will come a point when you are dating, the person you are seeing is going to have to meet your kids. This is not just a big moment for you, it’s a big moment for your kids, and the person you are seeing. When this day comes do not try to make it when you are going to be spending the whole day together.
Start with introducing the person you are dating to your kids with small steps like a quick meal or movie outing. This allows your kids to get comfortable around this new person without feeling trapped.
4 They Know They Are Still Your Number One
Even though at times your kids might show that they are jealous of you spending time with someone new, they know that you are not looking to replace them. They know you are just looking for someone who can understand you as a person and that makes you happy.
Kids understand that this new person will be able to give you the kind of attention that they can’t. Feel free to go out on a date when you find someone you connect with, your kids will not be upset that you are being human.
3 They Want You To Communicate With Them
You might feel like you need to protect your child from knowing that you are going on dates. But you should have open communication with them with this aspect of your life. Of course, you should not go into every aspect of your love life.
Being honest about seeing new people will start to introduce your kids to healthy relationships that will help them when they get to that stage of their life. Talk to your kids and have an honest conversation about your life so they know what is going on.
2 They Understand One Day They Will Meet Who You Are Dating
Once you start going on dates, your kids are going to understand that one day they are going to meet the person you are with. Though this might not be for a while they are already processing that one day there is going to be someone that you are going to want to introduce to them.
Don't worry about this day, even if it is not anytime soon, your kids are going to be ready for it and they are going to be excited about meeting someone you are spending time with.
1 They Want You To Be Happy
Your child knows how hard you work as a single parent to raise them and at the end of the day, they want you to find someone who makes you happy. This is true for a child at any age since kids can pick up on little things about behavior and feelings.
If they see that your attitude has changed from stressing and worrying about feeling more balanced and light then they are going to be happy. They are going to be able to sense that this new person in your life is making you feel whole again.