Most of you reading this are moms, or at the very least, have plenty of mom friends. So you know that bringing home a baby is a very magical time! And you also know that it can suck so hard, in so many ways. Those first weeks with a newborn are BRUTAL. You go from pregnant to parent in the blink of an eye, and they just give you this baby to take home and care for and keep alive. You're exhausted, emotionally frazzled, mentally drained, and in a significant amount of physical pain or discomfort. And this baby is a baby! It wants to eat when it's hungry, sleep when it's tired, and it wants to be held pretty much all the time. The baby doesn't care if your episiotomy stitches are burning or your nipples are bleeding or you haven't gotten more than 20 minutes of sleep in a row for days. It's such a hard time, and the more help you have, the better it can go. Doing it all on your own is a recipe for disaster.
Recently, a dad took to Reddit to ask AITA (Am I the A*&hole?) for asking his wife to manage all the nighttime care of their 3-week-old twins, and you can imagine what the response was. But, as he explained, it wasn't that cut and dry.
This guy and his wife have 3-week-old twins. She stays home with the babies, and he works more than full-time (72-84 hours a week). They have a nanny who helps out with babies and housework during the week, and dad says he helps weekday mornings and on weekends. He also takes over parental duties after he gets home from work until he goes to bed around 10 p.m. So, he's asking Reddit AITA for asking his wife to handle the overnights with the twins so he can get a full night's sleep for work each day.
As he explains, she has help during the day and can nap when the nanny is there, and he needs as much sleep as he can get to be able to function at work during the day. The nanny also handles all of the housework so his wife doesn't have to worry about it.
Redditors were torn on whether or not this guy was the a*&hole here. Some agreed that he was being reasonable and "NTA", while encouraging him to do as much as he could to help his wife since she was also in the midst of a pretty intense physical recovery in all of this. Others straight up said is "ITA", since you sort of sign on for sleepless nights when you decide to have kids, and expecting his wife to carry the load was unfair.
Personally, we see both sides of it, and definitely think there's a middle ground here (maybe switching off nights where he gets up to help, or working in shifts). He says she can nap during the day when the babies are asleep, but that's assuming both babies sleep at the same time and she can drop everything to just sleep when they sleep (that's not easy!). Plenty of Redditors just offered support, and assured the posted that these weeks are the hardest and they'd find their groove soon.
What do you think here, readers? ITA or NTA?