When most people get married, they truly believe they are going to live happily ever after with their significant other. Unfortunately, things don’t always work out that way. And while divorce is truly painful regardless of how or why it happens, when kids are kids involved the situation is that much more complicated. Not only are you dealing with a range of emotions ranging from sadness and disappointment to anger, you have to keep it together for your children and hopefully, be able to co-parent without any drama. Which, is easier said than done.
So how do you maintain a family-like environment after a divorce? Take a little inspiration from the McPhate family. Codie LaChelle McPhate recently shared a touching photo on Facebook of her father out mowing the lawn — only it wasn’t his lawn. McPhate explains that her parents have been divorced for 28 years, and that her dad still helps out whenever he can.
“This is my dad, mowing my mom’s lawn. They’ve been divorced 28 years,” she writes. “When my younger siblings questioned ‘Why is your dad mowing moms lawn?’ I told them ‘Because, She needed help, and he knew she couldn’t get out here to do it, so he did.'”
McPhate explains that her mother has bad knees and that her stepfather isn’t home all the time because of work. Therefore, her father graciously stepped in and helped out. “This is co parenting. This is how lucky I am to have 4 parents who respect each other, and know that at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is showing your children (Even ones that are 32 years old) how to treat people, and how to love your family, no matter how it came together,” she continues.
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The post has been shared nearly 30 times on Facebook and has also been featured on Love What Matters, where it has been shared almost 150,000 times. McPhate explained the photo in greater detail to the website, telling them that her dad was actually visiting her in Texas when the photo was taken. “So not only did he do something selflessly for her, he did it for her while he was on his VACATION,” she added.
She also mentions that her father wants everyone to know that he’s “no saint.” “He just wants to show others that you don’t need to act like an angelic pastor on lent, but that we should all choose kindness whenever we can,” she explained.
She continued, explaining that when her parents were going through a divorce they both chose to act like adults and treat each other with respect and compassion, “because no matter how their marriage ended, they both loved each other very much at one point, and that, that love – counts for something. That if they were going to raise their children to be good, kind people, they needed to be good kind people.”
The moral of this story is that is possible to get divorced — or go through any similarly difficult relationship drama — in a dignified manner and make the experience as loving as possible for not only yourselves, but those around you.