Parenting is not easy, and there are variables that can make it easier or harder, and this can be different for every family out there. Parents of special needs children have challenges and struggles that they have to face, and this can sometimes be too much for a couple to manage on their own.
While it is never ideal, and there are many reasons why parents separate, a special needs child can place added pressure on a relationship. While this may not be the reason for the divorce, it certainly doesn’t help a relationship that already feels like it is failing.
However, even when the couple separates, they still have to figure out how to navigate this new parenting relationship. Co-parenting is always challenging, but it can be more challenging when there is a child with special needs involved. There may be medical needs, therapy needs, and details that have to be communicated. There are also different decisions that have to be made when it comes to their care.
While there is not going to be one rule book to follow that will teach two people how to successfully co-parent any child, there are some tips that parents can try and follow. Parents will have to do what works for them, and they will have to find a balance that works for both, and their children.
Routines
Routine is incredibly important for a lot of special needs children. This could be due to medications, appointments, or even for children who have neurodivergence, like autism and ADHD. According to Thrive Global, it is important that both parents are on the same page when it comes to routine, and they try to make sure that it never goes differently. While life happens, and there are going to be times when the routine has to be changed, communication and consistency are going to be the best starting points for a co-parenting relationship.
Talk Through Your Fears
It is likely that even when the couple was married, one of them was doing more of the care for their child. They may have been the one to go to all the appointments, to give out the medication, and who are more familiar with their child’s behaviors and needs. It can make co-parenting hard, and it can lead one parent to be fearful about leaving the child with the other parent.
It is normal to have these worries, but it is important that you try and trust your partner. Have a meeting before, and go through everything that your partner will need to know. You can even make a little instruction booklet for them for the first bit. If you are the other parent, don’t take this personally, or as a sign of distrust, it is in the best interest of your child, and their needs. Before long, you won’t need to use the book.
How To Make Decisions
While all children will need to have decisions made about them by parents, there may be a bit more with special needs children, and the decisions may be a bit more serious. According to Our Family Wizard, it is important that the lines of communication are open when it comes to decision-making, and that both parties know what needs to happen if there is a decision that needs to be made.
There are online types of calendars and schedules that parents can use to keep in contact. They will sync with each other, and this means that each parent will always know what is scheduled, and it can even be used to schedule medications. As long as both parties are willing to communicate as often as need be, their child will be able to thrive.
Bring In Someone Else
There are always cases when two parents cannot co-parent effectively, and instead of trying to push through it, they may need some extra help. There is nothing wrong with getting outside help if it will only benefit your child. According to Parent Guide News, mom and dad can have a neutral third party involved to help when there needs to be communication and decision-making. This person can help be a mediator, a messenger, or even someone just to make sure the couple stays on track with the conversation.
This could be someone you know personally, though it may be hard to find someone who is 100% neutral, but it could also be a professional. It could be a doctor, a social services worker, or even a nurse. They will have the best interest of the child in mind, and they will not be partially due to a relationship with either parent.
Sources: Thrive Global, Our Family Wizard, Parent Guide News