It's not uncommon to hear stories about girls and young women being shamed for daring to break a ridiculous dress code. Oftentimes, the reasoning behind the shaming is that the girls should know better than to wear something that may tempt the boys around them, as if a pair of shorts has any control over the inappropriate thoughts that may or may not run through someone's mind.

When Ashlee Allen Fegan's friend shared a leaflet that had been sent home with her daughter, she was furious on behalf of her friend (and all of the other parents and daughters who received it). She was so angry that she took to Facebook to vent about it, and it has since made waves across the internet.

Ashlee posted a picture of the handout that was labeled a "First Dance Kit" and had a list of tips for girls as they prepare to embark on a co-ed dance. The first tip is gross in and of itself as it instructs girls to paint their nails and put on "a little lip gloss". The following tips are what really set Ashlee off, though.

The second tip is a reminder not to forget the "approved dress standards" for the event. It goes further in saying that "You don't want the guy dancing with you to feel uncomfortable because of the questionable outfit that you somehow justified". No, you didn't read that wrong.

The fourth tip is the real doozy. It basically tells young girls to lean in and accept rape culture saying, "never say 'no' to a guy who had the courage to walk over and ask you to dance in the first place". It also justifies this tip by reminding the girls that the length of a song is only three minutes, so they can deal.

Ashlee has received a ton of attention since posting the handout and she was sure to clarify that she does live in "the heart of Mormonism" (Utah) which is traditionally a very conservative religion. It seems as though she grew up in the Mormon church, as she told her Facebook followers that the response to her post has given her "a little bit of validation as I continue to work on the healing that is necessary for me to grow and be able to stand in my footprint more confidently and to own the fact that what I was put through as a young adult was neither appropriate or necessary for my well being". 

Ashlee doesn't go into further detail, she simply implies that when the time is right, she'll tell her whole story. If it's anything like this "helpful" handout that girls are receiving, she likely has a lot of soul-searching to do before she tells it.

Hopefully, this is the last time these young women will ever be subjected to this outdated thinking.

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