There was once a show called Kids Say The Darndest Things and it was based off all the funny and completely no-filtered things that children are known to say. It was a light-hearted, humorous show that moms everywhere could relate to. They could relate because children really do say anything, and it is usually hilarious, but what happens when a child says something that mom doesn’t find very funny? Children are also known to say curse words or language that is not very nice, but that may be the least of moms worries.

There are moms out there who are struggling with their child showing violent and hurtful tendencies and behaviors. Children who are either hurting those around them physically, or talking about wanting to hurt someone. This will often send immediate red flags to mom that something is wrong with her child. Is there a hidden meaning behind why a child may say this? The answer is, yes. Children who say they want to hurt someone may be calling out for help in the only way they know how.

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It Happens To A Lot Of Moms

This is something that can happen to a lot of moms out there, and when it does, they are desperate to reach out and see if any other mom has experienced it. One mom took the conversation to Reddit and shared the experience she was having with her son. She said that her son is 4 years old, and when she spoke with him about his behavior, his response was startling.

He said that he preferred hitting to cuddles and when she asked him why he couldn’t tell her. All he could say was that he “needs to hit, and he needs to hurt people.” The comment section was full of other parents who explained that their children went through a similar phase, and that it is likely nothing to worry about. Do the experts agree?

It Is All Communication

When a child does any behavior, there is a feeling attached to it. This goes for actually harming someone to wanting to harm someone. According to Berkeley Parents Network, wanting to harm someone is a reaction to anger. Even those that are the most “peaceful” and “happy” moms have moments of anger. Either at a situation, or at someone. The difference is that we know the appropriate ways to express it. A child has not. What a child is likely feeling when they want to hurt someone is anger.

Anger can be one of the most dangerous feelings, because it can make anyone think or act irrationally. Adults may even have that thought of wanting to hurt someone, but our social filters are mature, and we know that it is not appropriate to say it out loud. Young children lack that social filter and what they think just comes out of their mouths. While violence is not socially acceptable, it is a very basic, biological urge.

Can Be Completely Normal

According to Parkslope Parenting, this can be a very normal part of child development, and it is something that is experienced by a lot of parents out there. It can be shocking to an adult because of our knowledge of what is acceptable or not, but we have to remember that children are learning, they are not born with the knowledge of what is right and wrong when it comes to expressing their emotions.

Of course, if mom is really concerned about her child making these remarks, she should bring it up with her child’s medical provider who may be able to provide more insights and tips on how to address it. A tip that has worked for some moms is trying to clarify what is going on with their child when they said something. One mom said that when her son said that he wanted to hurt someone, she asked him to clarify what he meant.

After a short conversation, she was able to make out that her son was just angry with that person. She urged him to use his words and that violence is never the answer when it comes to expressing how you are feeling. It is also important to not sound alarmed or horrified when you hear your child say these things.

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Sources: Parkslope Parents, Berkeley Parents Network, Reddit