Brené Brown's Netflix Special "The Call to Courage" is a must-see for everyone, especially moms. Perhaps you recognize Brené by her viral Ted Talks 'The Power of Vulnerability' video, as an author of nine amazing published works, or her appearance on Oprah talking about her new book 'Daring Greatly.'
If you've been living under a rock and have no idea who Brené Brown is, she is known as a 'storyteller', public speaker, author, social worker, and researcher studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. "The Call to Courage" will have you laughing, crying, and relating all within the same 5 minutes, and is a show all mothers should be taking notes from. Here are some of the most relatable quotes.
Brené starts her special by welcoming the audience for coming to listen to her talk. She continues on by saying "Time is the BIG unrenewable resource," which is very relatable for moms. Although that direct quote didn't apply to the struggles of parenting, it is a great reminder to value precious moments.
At times, it can be mentally and emotionally consuming planning for the future, where your kids are concerned. We get caught up in what we need to do as a mother, to help our children grow to be successful and healthy adults. However, all the times you spend wishing you had a clean home, well-mannered children with more independence - you'll miss out on the special moments you could be creating with your kids.
Being a mother opens you up to harsh and unwanted criticism from just about anywhere and anyone. It can be hard when you are already trying your best at this whole 'mom' thing but any decision you make is second-guessed or criticized by those who think they know better. While discussing vulnerability, Brené Brown reminds the audience "it's not the critic that counts."
Mothers can benefit from hearing this because it is a great reminder that words that are spoken by those who judge us, hold no significant weight. You know what's best for your child, what he/she needs, and where your strengths and weaknesses lie.
There are many aspects of being a parent that can be daunting for mothers. There are many instances that may be 'out of our control,' not helping with the vulnerabilities we face. Brené, who is well versed in vulnerability and the challenges of being a mom (mother of two children - Ellen and Charlie), reminds us that it's the courage we have to face challenges that truly matters.
We wake up every day not being able to predict what our children will do, or what trial will be faced in motherhood. You might have days where you feel like you are 'winning' or 'losing' as a mom, but the true focus should be on how resilient you are for never giving up.
Similar to what she said about "it's not the critic who counts," Brené continues to speak of vulnerability and courage, saying the only feedback who matters are the ones who truly love you as a whole. Not being the perfect mother, and being one who allows herself to be vulnerable when she feels in way over her head, will not make your children, family, and friends love you any less.
Mothers can be so hesitant about asking for help, since we have guilt or fear of judgement from being seen as incompetent. Yet, acknowledging the support of those who still love us despite imperfections and vulnerabilities --and receiving their help and feedback-- can bolster our capabilities as a mother and a person.
Mothers are known to be selfless; putting everyone's well-being first before themselves. Although being selfless is a notable trait, there are many reasons as to why you should consider your own needs sometimes, to be a great mom.
Just like your children, YOU have many needs. If you never express them and let them "be seen" when you are overwhelmed, struggling and need help: your mental, emotional, and physical health will suffer greatly.
Parents of children who have 'left the nest' and have grown into adults will tell you to appreciate the little things that happen throughout parenting. While children are young, we are so focused on extraordinary moments like tantrums, sleepless nights, or guiding our children through their successes and defeats; that we don't pay attention to those ordinary times.
Maybe your infant is struggling to feed or sleep the nights, but what you'll miss most is his or her sleeping body curled up on your chest. Perhaps your child struggles to regulate emotions and has a meltdown multiple times throughout the day, but what you'll miss most about that age is how much "Mommy" was said and how you could make everything better with just a kiss.
Motherhood isn't always joyous. Brené Brown's statement "just choose joy sometimes" is something all moms should be reminded of on a daily basis. Coping with motherhood can leave a woman feeling emotionally drained. Being a mom takes so much effort since it's like we having multiple jobs: being a nurse, maid, chef, personal assistant, teacher, chauffeur, life coach, personal stylist, entertainer, crisis negotiator and so on.
We can't control whether we will exceed at the multiple jobs we assign ourselves all of the time. It's important to recognize that sometimes it's better to take a step back and realize that you don't have to stress over every little thing constantly.
If you are familiar with social work or concepts used in talk therapy, "the story I'm telling myself" can hold a lot of significance. Counsellors help their clients change the narrative of their 'stories' by highlighting all of the clients' strengths and achievements.
As a mother, you can easily change 'the story' you are telling yourself. If you believe in those negative thoughts or beliefs as your 'story', you will always feel like you are drowning. Believe that your 'story' gets better and define it for yourself.
Brené Brown says earlier in the Netflix Special that joy is the most vulnerable emotion. "There is no courage without vulnerability... You measure it by the amount of courage to show up and be seen when you can't control the outcome." Therefore, in order to be courageous, why shouldn't mothers attain joy when we are already faced by outcome beyond our control?
"Show up... be seen... and come off the blocks... because you are worth it." You deserve to speak out for the extra help so you don't completely lose your marbles.
Perhaps one of the most profound statements Brené Brown made during her Netflix Special "The Call to Courage" was when she said, "you can't go at it alone."
Ego aside, any mother or parent should know that you can't do at parenting 100% alone - and that's okay! Be courageous, share the load of responsibilities, so you have time to appreciate those ordinary moments. Be vulnerable enough to choose joy, because those who truly love you will support you no matter what. Motherhood is hard, but your struggle doesn't have to be yours alone.