Audiences fell head over heels in love with Amy, Mila Kunis’s starring role in “Bad Moms”. Sure, everyone had already fallen madly in love with her years and years earlier, but then again, it's also possible to keep falling in love with the same person over and over again. That’s the point of renewing vows, right? It's especially true in the case of a single individual who also plays different people.
However, falling in love with Jackie Burkhart (Mila’s character in “That 70’s Show”) isn’t the same as falling in love with “Bad Mom’s” Amy.
Kunis is a terrific actress (that shouldn’t be news to anyone since “Black Swan” came out a whopping eight years ago) and while she’s charismatic and unforgettable as Amy, there’s an element of acting going on. Actually, a lot of acting. There are ways in which Mila strongly resembles the perfect-mom-gone-rebel and ways in which she’s nowhere near.
Despite leading a very private family life, we can break down the similarities and differences to discern the Venn diagram of where these women overlap and where they very much don’t. That kind of research is obviously extremely fun so let’s get to it- all the ways in which Mila and her husband Ashton’s parenting overlaps with her latest break-out hit and the ways it doesn’t!
Let's start with the ways these two moms are nothing alike...
20 She Shares The Load
Ashton Kutcher is a little bit too gorgeous to be as insightful as he is, but no one’s complaining. Good for him as a leader in this latest generation of fathers. With men like this, mothers won’t [experience hardships] under the misallocated load like Amy does. That’s why the most highlighted difference between the two women is in their marriages.
As Kutcher explains, “I would like my daughter to experience a world where gender doesn’t dictate one’s responsibility or limit one’s opportunity… Having changing tables in men’s rooms is just a tiny step in the process of rectifying legacy gender discrimination… It’s time to get our [heads in the game].”
19 She's Very Serious About Preparing For Responsibility
Amy may seem like she just happens to stumble into situations, but Mila absolutely doesn’t allow herself to take on any obligations she hasn’t thought over. It may be the explanation of why one mother seems so content in her situation and the other is still having an identity crisis. Mila shares her motivation for preparing before responsibility,
“I always say ‘have a dog, it’s a good trainer for a kid,’ I am not kidding…. It’s very similar, the difference is you can’t just dump your kid on someone while you’re away, but motherhood is great, I think it’s fantastic.”
18 Her Marriage Was A While In The Making And For Good
Nothing about Mila and Ashton’s relationship was an accident. She shares that,
“I think we had to both go through a lot in our lives to become the people that we were. We would never be together based on the people we used to be….”
Her husband takes it a bit farther saying, “I just had a notepad, a pen and water and tea- for a week… I wrote down every single relationship that I had, where I felt like there was some grudge or regret… And I wrote letters to every single person and on day seven, I typed them all out and then sent them.”
17 She Never Thought She'd Get Married
Amy may have had a game plan and a compass pointed towards domestic bliss, but Mila was hard to convince that the lifestyle of a wife and mother would ever be for her. She was convinced it was all about a career until she happened to meet the right one. Mila breaks it down that saying, “I never wanted to get married. From the age of 12, I prepared my parents for no marriage… Then things changed – I found the love of my life. Now my theory on weddings is: Don’t invite anyone. Do it privately and secretly. My parents are okay with that. They’re just excited that I said yes.”
16 Nothing Was Ever All That Perfect
Amy is exhausted from the upkeep a perfect facade involves, but Mila’s never given an ounce of effort to that. She shares something that happened on her honeymoon- "We almost [didn't make it] on the side of the road when Apple Maps took us on a road… It wasn’t a road. it was a fire road on the side of a mountain. We all had to jump out of the vehicle and walk for like three miles while my father-in-law drove the van and Ashton navigated him over gigantic boulders because there had just been a massive flood. Guys, this was like, day two…”
15 But Perfect Was Never The Goal
Mila may have so much more energy and resilience than her character because of her acceptance for issues. For one thing, being a perfect mom was never an option. She explained, “The only thing I've ever felt guilty about, and I actually apologized to my 3-year-old, is when I overreact… I’ll walk away, and I'll come back, and I'll sit her down and I'm like, 'I'm really sorry. Mommy overreacted. Do you forgive me?'
And she's like, 'Yeah, I forgive you.' Whether she understands what just happened or not, I want her to know that I'm as flawed as she is."
14 Her Marriage Is Awesome
Amy’s marriage may have revealed itself to be a mistake that later doesn't make it, but it’s hard to find fault with a marriage as premeditated as Ashton and Mila. Mila can’t stop gushing about her husband. She said, "I’ve never felt like I was in more of a partnership in life than I do with [Ashton]. Literally, every day it feels like it's me and him against the world. At all times… ”He’s so beautiful and so wonderful and so giving and so generous and so loving that, every day, I wake up and I'm so grateful to have him in my life."
13 Normal Isn't On The Table Either
The pursuit of normalcy and perfection is an exhausting quest for Amy, Mila knows better. It’s not going to happen and it doesn’t need to because going against such an inevitable conclusion isn’t worth the effort. She doesn’t have a second to pretend that normal is anything possible for her family, whatever normal even is. When asked how she keeps a "relatively normal [life] with cameras chasing [her] down the street," she answers, “We don't. There's nothing normal about our life.”
Well, it's a better answer than trying to conform your life to some expectation of what it should be.
12 She Doesn't Try To Fit Into Her Own Bubble
Her character needed to go through a lot of trial and failure to come to this realization, but Mila knows that no one’s life can possibly be the same… let alone fit into some conformist idea of what’s good and bad. So Mila is serious in how the pursuit of normalcy is pointless. She explained, "It's all perspective. Your version of normal and my version of normal is different. My kids' version of normal is incredibly different. So it's perspective. You try to surround them with diversity. We try to surround ourselves with all aspects of life and try not to stay in our bubble, but it's hard. It is really hard!
And anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.”
11 But She's Also Not A Bad Mom
The biggest difference between Amy and Mila might just be that even during Mila’s moments that are completely for her as an individual or during her laziest instances, she’s absolutely not a bad mom. And she won’t even let anyone else define what a good or bad mom is. She said, “You just have to know you’re doing the best you can, and that’s more than enough. I know I’m the best mom Wyatt’s ever had, and I’m the best mom for her.”
It’s a beautiful mentality that leads to a way more easygoing lifestyle. Are you the best mother this child knows? Great. Then be the best version of that mother and it’ll all (probably) be alright.
And here are the 10 things they have in common...
10 She Knows Life Isn't Going To Be Balanced
Much of “Bad Mom’s” premise comes from Amy giving up in her endless pursuit of a perfect balance in life between motherhood and work and friendship so she can give in to everything she truly wants. Well, Mila also knows there’s no such thing as balance most of the time. "It took me a little while to realize that I was a better mom going back to work because when I was with her, I was present 100 percent… If you are with your kid and you are present, and you are there and you're engaged, and you care, then you're a great mom."
9 She's Fine With Being A Little Selfish
Mila is more than determined to let her children know they have to learn to live without her. Just like Amy pursues her own life, Mila wants her children to know they’re their own people.
Given their young age, they're not ready to be completely alone yet but Mila is determined to not raise children who are dependent or needy on their celebrity parents so they can coast through life.
The mother of two says, “It’s a matter of teaching them from a very early age that, you know, mommy and daddy may have a dollar, but you’re poor... You are very poor, you have nothing. Mommy and daddy have a bank account.”
8 And With Being A Little Lazy
Just like Amy, Mila is more than aware that giving in to your personal needs and wants can actually make you a better parent. Some armchair critics claim Mila and Ashton are lazy parents, but how is that a bad thing? Ashton raved about a new cradle for their littlest one,
“It’s an oscillating bed…it has a sensor in it so the louder the kid cries, the faster it goes and puts the kid back to sleep, it’s incredible.”
The critics are just jealous. Sure, you can get up and blow off the next day when you’ll be an exhausted mess, but who is that even for? If there’s the technology to make an issue not a problem, why not?
7 She Saves Christmas For Herself
It may not be what inspired the actual movie “Bad Mom’s Christmas” but still, both Amy and Mila won’t give in to the common belief that only kids enjoy the holidays. The mother says, "So far, our tradition is no presents for the kids... We're instituting it this year because when the kids are [younger than] one, it doesn't really matter… We’ve told our parents, 'We're begging you — if you have to give her something, pick one gift. Otherwise, we'd like to take a charitable donation, to the Children's Hospital or a pet [or] whatever you want.' That's our new tradition."
6 Her Marriage And Professional Life Don't Overlap
Amy and Mila have very different marriages (the most notable difference being not great vs. awesome) and Mila explains why her and her husband's professional lives can no longer overlap, despite their past and their shared experience as actors. She says about acting with Ashton, “[It's] not going to happen. I can’t look at him and not be like, ‘What are you doing?’… No, it’s weird.”
The best marriages are often the ones with room for poking fun at each other because it lets honesty breath between spouses. It’s obvious Mila has no intention of letting their professional lives get in the way of their relationship.
5 Appreciation Is Important
So much of Amy's journey in “Bad Moms” has to do with feeling appreciated, and it’s a sentiment that Mila equally values. The actress says, "Everything is different… From the fact that you're so happy when you get six hours of sleep to the idea of being responsible for this incredible, living breathing little human being that you can't believe is yours.”
It’s all about appreciation; The worst situation can feel like a blessing when you know that the work you’re putting in isn’t going unnoticed. Similarly, you can build the perfect life (ahem, hi Amy) but it won't be enough if no one thanks you.
4 Underneath Everything, She Really, Really Cares
Despite all the jokes, jabs and antics, both moms really care. Deep down, more important than madcap adventures is the deep, strong bond that a mother and child share. Actually, a lot of the madness of the “Bad Moms” franchise comes from not feeling that bond. Mila shares that, "I love the fact that the first three months, [Wyatt] and I were up every night… I figured her out and she figured me out and she now sleeps in her own crib in her own room. I will never have that time again so, for me, it was a really nice three months."
3 She's Very Conscious Of How Much She Gives Her Children
Both Amy and Mila have trouble with the entitled lives they’ve toiled to give their children. For Mila, she comes from a childhood of poverty and not having enough, which have taught her to appreciate the small things. Mila shares her own revelation that her children’s life would be so different from her own early years, "My kids are never going to know what it's like to not have fresh groceries. My kids are never going to know what it's like to not have new clothes. I say no to my kids because I want to say no, not because I have to say no. It's a very different [upbringing]”.
2 She's Top Dog In Her Family
The truly great leaders don’t need to talk about what great leaders they are because their followers will be more than happy to share. So don’t take Mila’s word for it as her husband shares, "Everything Mila says is right! She's my wife, so that's just what it is. Everything she says is right.”
Neither Amy nor Mila are interested in being a casualty of suburban bliss or even going unheard. It’s obvious the two moms (really one, but that’s where it gets confusing) share the same strong-headed nature that in the end, knows what’s right and what’s not.
1 Friendship Makes The World Go 'Round
Amy could never move beyond her unsatisfying life without friends, and Mila also requires a support system. She explains that, “I think people like to know they’re not alone. I think that the second you’re like, ‘Oh wait’ and that you can put humor at it, and it’s something that you can make light of… Nowadays, if it’s going wrong and I call my best friend and I’m like, ‘I don’t know, this color is coming out of her nose and I’m pretty sure she’s [not going to make it].’ And it’s OK to do that now, but I don’t know if it necessarily was OK before.”
References: EOnline, Brides Blush, Popsugar, The Richest, and PopSugar.