This article was originally published on July 13, 2018. It was updated on February 4, 2021 by Ashley Wehrli.
When it comes to baby fever, it often feels like something we can’t control. The idea of being pregnant again, smelling that new baby scent, and even buying diapers again all sounds so incredible. When a woman gets it in her mind that she wants another baby, it can be near impossible to change her mind. However, sometimes her husband or partner is not always on the same page when it comes to family size. Sometimes, he is ready to stop and she desperately wants to have another.
When it comes to disagreeing on family size, a woman’s baby fever can drive her to make some pretty desperate attempts. Often times, having another baby is the first thing she thinks about when she wakes up in the morning and the last thing she thinks about before bed. It can cause a lot of guilt because it might feel like she is ungrateful for the life she currently has. However, it’s also important to try everything she possibly can to bring that baby she wants into this world. So, if you have baby fever but your husband isn’t fully on board yet, here are 20 ways women have convinced him to have another.
20 Remind Him Of The Money You Could Save
There’s no doubt that babies are expensive. People always talk about the thousands of dollars parents spend in the first year alone after having a newborn. However, if you already have a kid or two, most of the time you have a lot of the major necessities that are needed to have a baby. You have car seats, high chairs, bibs, bottles, and even baby clothes. If you can show your man that money isn’t going to be as much of an issue as it was with your other kids, that might persuade him into reconsidering the idea of having another baby.
19 Use Your Current Child’s Gender To Your Advantage
According to Baby Center, using your current child or children’s gender in your argument can really work to your advantage. Perhaps you have two little girls already. You can use this to persuade your husband into trying for a boy. Talk about future baseball practices, passing on his last name, and really get him excited about the possibility of a son. Or, on the other hand, if you already have a son, you can play the “daddy’s girl” card. Pull on his heartstrings and make him think about the future possibilities that could come from having another baby that is a girl.
18 Show Him How Fun It Is To Try For A Baby
According to Cherish 365, trying for a baby is always fun, but sometimes after a couple of kids, it can be easy to forget about that magic. So, if you are truly trying to convince your man to have another baby, get dressed up real nice, and give him the night of his life. Show him how fun it is to try for a baby and not have to worry about anything. Once that excitement and adrenaline kick in, he will be wanting a baby just as bad as you do. Although these crazy nights might not last once another baby comes, but he doesn’t have to think about that right now.
17 Foster A Puppy To Show That Kids Are Easier
People always seem to recommend getting a puppy when you are feeling the void of wanting another child. However, couples will quickly find out that puppies are actually way more work than children. Not only do puppies run around and destroy your house, but they also can knock over your young children, eat your shoes, and tear apart your couch. I’d like to see a baby who can cause that much damage. And, you usually can’t take your dog with you on vacation so you have to pay for someone to take care of them. Fostering a puppy is a great opportunity to show your man that having another baby would actually be easier.
16 Use Close Friends As An Example
If your husband is not sold on having another baby just yet, there is a good chance he has brought up issues of money, finances, travel, and even house size. While all of these things may be valid points, Jennifer Johnson recommends calling in outside reinforcements. When you have other families in your life that are living with less money, in smaller houses, hearing that they are expecting another child may be an eye-opener. The more your husband sees other couples doing what he didn’t think was possible, the sooner he will be on board with having another baby.
15 Bring Up Your Biological Clock
According to Daily Mail, bringing up your biological clock is something that 42-year-old Lauren Libbert had attempted many times in the hopes of convincing her husband to have a third child. The idea of your biological clock is a tricky subject because you want to approach the conversation in a way that convinces your husband to act now before it’s too late. Stress the point that time is ticking and it’s now or possibly never. On the other hand, this may backfire into your husband thinking that you are already out of the baby tunnel and too far gone. So, remember to tread lightly when using this argument.
14 Pretend You’re Over It
Turning the tables on your man and pretending like you’re totally over the idea of having a baby might actually be the push your husband needed. If you express to him that now you’re having doubts and you’re unsure about the idea of another child, it will really get him thinking about what he wants. The topic of having a baby will be at the front of his mind and he might question what made you change your mind. If you’re lucky, he will start bringing up the conversation and that’s when you take advantage of your opportunity. The best part is that he will think he convinced you in the end.
13 Be Patient
They always say patience is a virtue and when it comes to convincing your man to have another baby, this couldn’t be truer. Even though the thought of getting pregnant might be at the forefront of your mind every single day, it is probably better not to show that to your husband. If he is still on the fence about another baby, this might overwhelm him and make him feel like he’s suffocating. According to BT, 40-year-old Jenni Jones explains how it took her three years to convince her husband to have a third child. And, another six months of working on her husband, Jack, to get a fourth child. The family now has five children and feels complete, but it just goes to show that slow and steady wins the race.
12 Remind Him That You’re Compromising Too
When you become so adamant about wanting another child, it may feel like you are getting exactly what you want if your husband decides to give in and have another. He may resent you because he feels like he is the only one compromising. However, it is so important to explain that you are compromising too. For example, I have always wanted a big family. I was totally open to the idea of having four kids. However, my boyfriend only wanted two. We finally agreed on three but it was important for him to see that we were both compromising and meeting in the middle.
11 Let Him Know How Much It Means To You
According to To Love, Honor And Vacuum, one mom of two said that she remembers journaling, “what haunts me is the fact that this will be the biggest regret of my life; that I will go to my grave wishing I had had more children.” I think sometimes men don’t fully understand the depth of a woman’s desire to have more children. Sometimes it can feel like every fiber of our being is telling us that we are meant to bring another child into this world. The most important thing you can do is let your partner know how much this means to you. You don’t have to do this in a way that guilts him into having another child but simply mention it. Perhaps if he knew how much this meant to you, he would be more willing to try for another baby.
10 Be Open To Your Partner’s Thoughts And Concerns
Your partner is going to get annoyed if he feels like you are always just listening to respond instead of listening to understand. When it comes to having another baby, it is a very big deal and a huge life decision. Your husband or partner deserves the respect of having you hear him out. His thoughts and concerns are probably very valid and if you hear him out with an open mind and an open heart, your relationship will grow stronger. And, the stronger you two are, the better environment it will be for a new baby. If you don’t understand how your husband is feeling, how do you expect to make a convincing argument?
9 Sacrifice Your Career
According to Huffington Post, usually at least one parent, sometimes both, has to take some time off of work in order to care for a new baby. Sacrificing his career might not be something that your husband wants to do right now, but he may be more willing to have another baby if you convince him that you are okay with doing the majority of the work. Besides simply considering your family’s finances, it is also important to think about how much you enjoy your job. If you are willing to sacrifice your career for another baby, let your husband know that. He might not assume something like that.
8 Work On Your Relationship
Many people often say that having another child is no way to fix a broken relationship. However, many relationships are not broken, they simply need some rekindling. Of course, having kids can be exhausting and be draining. According to Romper, one mom found herself co-sleeping with her two kids while her husband slept in another bed in a different room. While some of your jaws might be dropping right now, I want to reassure you that having children doesn't ruin relationships. However, there is a lot to be said for strengthening what you already have before adding another baby into the mix. Go on a date night, talk more, give each other massages. When you take the time, you will see the benefits.
7 Explain Exactly Why You Want Another
To be honest, sometimes we are just in love with the idea of having another baby or a big family. However, when you truly think about it, you might not be so sure. According to Very Well Family, it is important to explain to your husband or partner exactly why you want another baby. This not only will open his eyes but yours as well. Maybe you miss being pregnant, maybe you miss that new baby smell, maybe you are just not ready to give up arts and crafts, preschool graduations, and all the joys that come with a new baby. However, there is also a chance that thinking about all these things will make you realize how much work you are in store for. Either way, it’s a good conversation to have.
6 Don’t Be Afraid To Wait A Year
With your ticking biological clock in the back of your head, it can be hard to think about dropping the subject of a baby for an entire year. However, if you and your husband are not on the same page, it can be the healthiest thing to do. Conceiving is not always easy and neither is raising a child. There are a lot of stresses that come with it all. According to Mom, it may be wise to hold off on the conversation for a full year. Agree to try and work on yourselves and your current family during that time. But, also agree to try and open your heart to how the other is feeling. Allow yourself the shifting emotions but also recognize that you don’t have to make a decision in a week or even a month. Sometimes all you need is a little time to see things clearly.
5 Cook His Favorite Meals
According to When Crazy Meets Exhaustion, cooking for your husband or at least more than you normally do can really win him over. He will start feeling special and pampered. Of course, he might know what you are trying to do, but who really complains about being buttered up? A fancy dinner that was made for just the two of you can really put him in the baby-making mood. Maybe there are certain meals that you know your husband likes that you rarely make. Take this opportunity to show that you know him and listen to his needs. He will feel so loved that he won’t be able to help but to give you what you want.
4 Start Dressing To Impress
It’s no surprise that we as moms become a bit lazy in our attire after we have had a kid or two. Often times, we become more focused on making sure our kids are dressed and our own appearance gets placed on the back burner. However, if you are really serious about making another baby, you are going to have to dress to impress. Sometimes, moms can get away with wearing nearly the same thing for a few days in a row, but if you are trying to seduce your husband, it’s time to put in the effort.
3 Reminisce About Your Current Children
There is actually a way to leave subliminal messages to your husband that will convince him that he also wants another baby. You can do this by pulling out your current children’s baby pictures and leaving them around the house where you know he will see them. This will send him down memory lane for sure and remind him how much fun it is to raise a newborn. The baby books, all the firsts, all the memories, it will really bring him back. And when he’s weak, that’s when you pounce.
2 Appeal To Logic And Emotions
The reason you want another baby is probably an emotional one. You miss the infant stage, you miss the smell of a newborn, you miss feeling at home in the baby aisle of stores. However, it is important to show your husband that you have put a lot of thought into this decision. You are not only going off of your emotions here. You are using logic as well. Perhaps you just got a new car and that extra seat in the middle will always be empty without another baby. No need to be wasteful, right? Explain how the older siblings will help out more now and how much you can reuse this time around. If your husband is not sold on having another baby, it is probably because he is thinking too logically, so beat him at his own game and use logic to win him over
1 Explain To Him That He Wouldn’t Regret It
There are a lot of people who use scare tactics and try to convince you that fewer kids will make your life so much easier. However, one important thing to remember is that making the decision to have another child is one that you will not regret. According to Disney Family, Lauren Hartmann was not sure about the idea of a third child for a while. However, after attending a parenting conference she realized what was holding her back. She was scared of the infant stage again. She was scared of the stress and chaos that comes with very young children.
This may be what your husband is scared of as well. However, try to view these early years as laying a foundation. It’s not always going to be this hard or this tiring. Pretty soon your babies will be little humans that can form opinions and have conversations with you. So, truly think about your future and what you want your family to look like in the long run. If you stick with that, you and your husband won’t have any regrets.
Sources: Baby Center, Cherish 365, Daily Mail, BT, To Love, Honor And Vacuum, Huffington Post, Very Well Family, Mom, When Crazy Meets Exhaustion, Disney Family