Parenting and raising a child is a lot of work, and it turns out the old saying is right: it does take a village to raise a child.
But being a parent doesn’t always come naturally to people, and just like anything else, you need to learn how to handle your child at different stages of their lives. This leans to you constantly changing your parenting style and the things they need to get done, but all of this change can make your partner feeling overwhelmed and not knowing what to do. Though to you, it may feel that you are not getting the help that you need from your partner. So keep reading to discover ten ways to ask your partner for more help.
10 Thank Them When They Help Out On Their Own
Fatherhood and motherhood are similar, yet different. Yes, both of you want to take care of your little ones as best as you can, but, with fatherhood, they can feel a bit distant at times since they are not the ones that carried the baby for so long. Something you can do to show that you appreciate what they did was to thank them when they went out on their own to help with the kids or the house. This is going to signal something in their brain and make them want to help out more on their own.
9 Suggest Things They Can Do
Sometimes it can be hard for your partner to figure out what they should do to help you if you already have a routine in place, but a wonderful way to tell your partner that you need help is to suggest things that they can do.
This can look like “if you have the time,” or “if you can” phrases will indirectly ask your partner for help and make them feel like they can do the task since you are building up their outlook on the task like they are going to be the only one who knows how to do it.
8 Remind Them Of Things They Said They Would Do
How many times have you said that you were going to do something and then got busy and completely forgot? It happens to everyone, including your partner. So, next time your partner says they are going to do something but forgot, don’t get angry, just casually remind them or ask when they will get it done.
These little reminders will be what they need to get something done and can make them want to add more tasks to that list when they are getting things done.
7 Talk About Both Of Your Biggest Parenting Challenge
If you feel like you are doing everything yourself you can experience burnout fast! But what you might not know is that your partner is not helping you since they feel an area of parenting is something that they do not understand.
Talking about your biggest challenges with each other will show you both where you need more help. Overall, talking to your partner about this will make you and your partner feel closer by knowing that you understand what challenges you both had and how you can help each other through it.
6 Recognize What Was Helpful
The next time your partner helps you out you want to recognize that what they were actually helpful! Make sure to take time to tell your partner that what they did was helpful and discuss how it made your day easier. This will help them understand that even if it was something little for them to do, it helped make your day easier since it as one less thing for you to do. And when they know something was helpful they are going to be more inclined to help out more.
5 Don’t Nitpick How They Help
The worst thing you can possibly do when your partner is helping you is to nitpick how they are doing. Sure if they are actually doing something wrong then you should tell them, but if they are not doing it how you would, you need to take a deep breath and let it go.
If you are telling your partner how they should be doing something then they are going to not want to help finish the task or help you with anything else. Next time they help you out, don't go over to micromanage them and just let them handle the task.
4 Try To Create Regular Tasks They Can Help With
Some people thrive on routine and if your partner hasn’t been able to help you out it might be because they need set tasks that they can help you to know what to do. Having regular tasks between the two of you can help you both understand the roles that need to be filled and what is expected. This can leave them guessing out and get everything done with the kids and the house in a timely manner. So use the divide can conquer approach to get your partner to help you.
3 Remain Calm When Asking For Help
A mistake that some people make when they ask their partner for help is to let things bowl in them and they end up making their partner feel bad about not helping. You need to remain calm and have an adult conversation that will make your partner feel like they are needed and can be helpful.
Don't get angry about the past. Instead, be happy they are going to be helping you now. So, be calm when asking for help and make sure you are not thinking of everything they didn’t do when you ask.
2 Start With Easy Task
Sometimes your partner might not be helping you because they feel like they would just make things worse. Don’t let them think that and build up their confidence by starting them off with an easy task. This could be the first time your partner has ever been around kids and had a place of their own, so they might not know what needs to be done.
By starting with an easier task, you can build on their skills and eventually get them to help you with other more difficult tasks in the long run.
1 Have Regular Check-Ins
You need to remember that your partner is not a mind reader, but, if you set five minutes to have regular check-ins with your partner about what you both need it can set clear expectations between the two of you.
These check-ins can discuss what you want each other to do throughout the day or ask for help in an area of parenting where one of you feels weak. Make sure to talk to your partner about setting a time where you can briefly sit down and check-in with each other.