Motherhood can often feel like a competitive sport, especially with social media. We are constantly inundated with how mothers are 'supposed' to give birth, and how they're 'supposed' to feed their children and how they're 'supposed' to parent them as they grow older. It's a lot for anyone to take but for some reason, there is always a ridiculous amount of scrutiny placed on women when they become mothers.
Blogger and mom of three Ashley Gibson recently shared a post after the birth of her third child that is really resonating with moms online. Gibson wrote that when she was in labor with baby #3 her husband quietly reminded her that there is no trophy in motherhood. She shared how much his words meant to her in a post that has since gone viral and it's something that every mother needs to hear.
Gibson wrote that it was while she was in labor with her third child that her husband said to her, "There’s no trophy Ashley." She wrote that she was in the throes of labor and considering whether or not she should get an epidural. When she was fretting about whether she should be supplementing her breast milk with formula and feeling like she was "already failing at breastfeeding" her husband reminded her once again that "There’s no trophy Ashley."
Gibson then wrote what so many moms feel, which is that motherhood is often some competition where moms have to try to do everything perfectly lest they be judged by others. "As moms in today’s world it can feel like we’re all competing for a trophy that doesn’t exist," she wrote. "I literally thought in that delivery room that I would somehow be “less than” as a mother for tapping out and asking for the drugs. Like there would be a gold medal or AT LEAST a gold sticker on my medical chart for having a natural birth. And I felt like I was letting some invisible committee down when we bought formula to help him pass the amniotic fluid he had swallowed," she wrote.
She wrote that since she had her third child she's thought a lot about what her husband said to her. "Standards we try so hard to measure up to even though the contest is make-believe and we were made to live in community, not competition."
Gibson's post has hit home with many women who have often felt that need 'competition' throughout motherhood. From the moment women give birth until their child leaves home, women often feel like they're in a competition, or at the very least judged for how they choose to raise their own children. Gibson's post is a much-needed reminder to every mom that they need to raise their children how they want to because at the end of the day there are no trophies.
The mother of three's post has gone viral with more than six thousand people, many of them mothers, applauding her words.
"So much truth! Love this story," wrote one commenter, while another added, "Yes yes 1000 times yes!! #realmommovement"
"Oh. My. Goodness. Thank you for writing this," wrote another grateful mom.
Gibson concluded her post writing, "the only trophy you’ll carry through life is the bond you create with your baby. And like I’ve said before, we all go home from the hospital with a big basket of mesh undies and sanitary pads the size of our newborns no matter how glamorous our Insta pics look."
Truer words were never written.