Regardless of why a marriage ends, the divorce process is often complicated, emotional, and sometimes very messy. There are assets and debts to divide, anger and pain to cope with, and so much paperwork to sift through. However, divorces become even more complicated when the couple shares children.

More often than not, both parents wish to maintain parenting rights even after the divorce is finalized. This is where a parenting plan comes in. Essentially, a co-parenting plan is a formal document that outlines how parents will raise their children after the couple divorces. This plan, not only outlines how major decisions regarding the children will be made and how child-related expenses will be divided, but most importantly, it outlines how much time children will spend time with each parent in great detail.

If you are developing a co-parenting plan with your ex-husband, there are obviously many factors that you must consider when deciding what type of custody schedule will best fulfill the physical, emotional, and social needs of your child. With that being said, most experts recommend a 50/50 schedule when possible, because it provides your child with substantial amounts of time with both parents. A 50/50 co-parenting plan also helps children feel like both parents care about them and really love them.

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Via Pexels

When most people think of a true 50/50 co-parenting plan, they imagine the “typical” schedule where the children spend one week with Mom and one week with Dad. While this plan, often referred to as an alternating weeks schedule, is one of the simplest schedules to create, it can pose some serious problems for children.

First and foremost, an alternating weeks schedule forces your child to go an entire week without seeing one of their parents. This can cause children to miss the other parent and feel detached from them. Depending on your child’s age, these feelings can lead to separation anxiety or even a serious anxiety disorder.

Also, this co-parenting plan can be difficult to manage if you and your ex-husband aren’t on good terms. An alternating weeks schedule usually allows for the parent, who doesn’t have the children that week, time for dinner visits and/or phone calls. However, these moments can become tense and even cause disputes, if you and your ex cannot get along.

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Finally, this plan often causes issues due to work schedules. Your ex’s schedule (or even yours) may make getting children to school in the morning or from school in the afternoon difficult or expensive, if you use before or after school care, which can be difficult to arrange for only every other week.

While an alternating weeks schedule may work if your child is older, this ultimately isn’t the best plan for children younger than 12 years of age.

However, there are some other great 50/50 custody arrangements for families with preschool and elementary school aged children, like:

  • The 2-2-3 schedule, which has your child spend 2 days with one parent, 2 days with the other parent, then 3 days with the first parent. On the following week, you flip-flop.
  • The 3-4-4-3 schedule, which has your child spend 3 days with one parent, 4 days with the other parent, then switches.
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Via Unsplash

Additionally, some parents with young children find that a true 50/50 schedule isn’t as feasible and opt for a variation of a 60/40 schedule like:

  • The every extended weekend schedule, which has your child spend weekdays with one parent and a long weekend with the other parent.
  • The 5-2 schedule, which has your child live with one parent for 5 days and the other parent for 2 days.
  • The extended every other weekend schedule, which works like the extended every weekend schedule, only less frequently.

Divorce is never easy on anyone, especially when kids are involved. At the end of the day, though, we just want to make the best choices for our children. Before you finalize a parenting plan during the divorce process, read about how each option will impact your child and consider what your child's life will look like, based on each potential parenting plan. With some research and a bit of strength, you can find the power to develop a plan that fits your newly divided family's needs.

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