Even the toughest person will still struggle with elements of being pregnant. Let's face it, it's not easy. There's a number of physical and emotional struggles pregnant women have to face on a daily basis far before they give birth. Some of the obstacles they have to overcome they never even knew could be possible. After all, who knew one could have a life-or-death craving for Japanese wasp crackers at 3:13 in the morning? Luckily there are a number of things a partner, or even a good friend or family member can do for their pregnant loved one to ease the stress. No really, there absolutely are... Just take a look at this list to find out.
A couple of the entries on this list may seem pretty self-explanatory. After all, they are just things one would do for their partner while they were going through anything that was all-consuming. Or, at least, one would think that these are things they would do. So, perhaps they really aren't so self-explanatory since they feel less and less common nowadays.
Regardless, most readers are sure to find something here that will either prepare them for supporting their pregnant wife or reminding them to step up and do their duty. Or, otherwise put, here are 25 small gestures from partners that made pregnant mamas' lives so much easier.
25 Cook. Cook. Just Cook!
Yes, we have to begin with the most obvious of the obvious. It doesn't matter if your wife is pregnant or not, the chances are she doesn't want to cook if she doesn't have to. If she's carrying around a growing human in her stomach, she'll probably not want to go through the hassle of preparing a giant meal for everyone every night.
Sure, she like doing it occasionally, but even if you've had to put in a long day at work, at least bring home food. Take care of it so she doesn't have to. The internet is full of stories from pregnant women who are more than thankful for their partners doing this. There's a reason why it's first on almost every list.
24 All About Them Massages
Everyone loves a good massage, whether it's on the back, foot, or elsewhere. Women with a growing bun in the oven, so to speak, are even more appreciative of this. Their bodies are working overtime, after all. Later into their pregnancy, they are basically carrying around a heavy-weight all day long. Not to mention the general stresses and anxieties that come with pregnancy that those who aren't or can't be pregnant could never fully comprehend.
So, if your partner looks like she could use a little physical; relief, definitely make the extra effort to make her feel more comfortable with a nice massage.
23 Whip That Camera Around
Okay, so the title to this entry is slightly off... No one has real cameras anymore unless they are the professional kind. It doesn't matter. You get the point. ...Snap tons of maternity photos. Document it. Show your wife that you care about what's going on and you're enthralled by the process. It'll also make her feel like a star. A feeling that she should experience. Or, at least, that's what mama Krishann Briscoe suggests in her article on this very topic.
A note of caution, however: Make sure she's into having her photo taken. There are moments where she may not feel like being forever imprisoned in digital.
22 Constant Understanding
Even when it seems like she's being pretty unreasonable, just, for your own sake, be understanding. If you don't believe that this is an important point, take a look at all of the references below, it's written by women in pretty much all of them. And, if you think about it, it's a valid suggestion. Her body is under intense stress and there's a lot of things coming down the pike for her. So, for the love of everything holy and good in this world, be constantly understanding of everything she's going through.
21 Make Memories
Here's some interesting advice from a baby mama on bellybelly.com, make some memories with your pregnant partner. Think of it this way; if you were her, would you prefer to sit around all day watching T.V. and preparing your body for birth over going on a little holiday, or going on a walk through the woods, or just generally doing fun romantic things with your partner?
Sure, as time goes on, her ability to do more strenuous things will be diminished as well as ill-advised, but you can still find ways of creating a set of memorable experiences for her while she's pregnant. Think of it as if you were trying to impress her like you did when you first started dating.
20 Help Her Cravings
Real life mama Krishann Briscoe suggests in her article that a partner should try and help aide his/her pregnant spouse with any craving that she may have. Even if she decides at the very last minute that she doesn't feel like Sour Cream and Onion Pringles anymore, get them for her. Sure, at the end of the day you may have a variable assortment of random foods in your fridge, but at least they're there should she decide she wants them again. So, yeah, within reason, go out and order that cheesecake that's only made in Wisconsin. She's sure to appreciate it.
19 Deal With The Older Kid(s)
If the arriving baby isn't the first, there is current parenting that needs to be done. In fact, there's no shortage of parenting that needs to be done, especially if the other child is a toddler. The real of thumb should be, if your wife is pregnant, you need to take over as many of the responsibilities that surround the other kids as possible.
Yes, this could be quite a load for the partner who isn't carrying the baby, but eventually, the wife will be more than grateful.
18 Focus On The Beauty
Listen to Sarah on ScaryMommy.com when she says you should always remind your partner just how gorgeous and smoking hot she is. Her body is going through a lot of changes, not to mention some generally unflattering things like constipation and flatulence. That's just what happens. It doesn't matter how secure a person is when it comes to their looks when they are going through something like pregnancy they need to be reminded of one of the reasons you fell for them in the first place.
17 Stick To Her Diet
Another one of the things that Sarah says on ScaryMommy.com is that you should also try and stick to her diet. AKA don't eat things that she's not allowed to eat. Yes, that goes for alcohol too. Though it's sort of an unflattering comparison, good partners don't drink if they're spouse is struggling with an addiction. It just tempts them. But in the case of a pregnant woman, they may feel bad. You don't want to be one of those people who waves something around that the person you love can't enjoy too.
16 Keep It Clean
Yes, all of the house-chores are basically the partner's responsibility when the other is pregnant. Sure, once in a while the pregnant woman may want or even need to do some of the chores, but most of the time it's just not what she should be focusing on. She has a big job to do and an even bigger one once the baby (or babies... if she's particularly masochistic) arrives.
During the first few months of pregnancy where your wife still has to work even though she's pregnant, the last thing she'll want to do is come home and clean after a long day at the office. If anything, she needs some "me" time.
15 Make Sure She Knows She's Beautiful
Now, we wouldn't usually suggest something anything remotely mean-spirited, but we all have that bone in our bodies. Anyone who suggests otherwise is completely kidding themselves. Rest assured, your pregnant spouse might just be thinking about how all of her non-pregnant friends look like they are beach-bod ready. And though a pregnant body is obviously remarkably beautiful, it still can cause some insecurities. So, feel free to make sure she understands she's the most beautiful person in the world, even compared to her friends who she may or may not be a tad jealous of.
It's okay, Sarah on ScaryMommy.com says the exact same thing.
14 Take Her For A Stroll
There's nothing like a bit of fresh air. Add in the sound of birds. Throw some exercising and the opening up of the lungs on top of it all and you have a recipe that your pregnant partner will enjoy. Seriously though, a little bit of low-stress exercise will do her good.
More importantly, the time together will do you both better. Go for a walk in the neighborhood, or drive out somewhere special. It doesn't really matter where. Just take her by the hand and show her how much you want to spend time with her, especially while she's creating life.
13 Love Them Pillows
If you read the article published on bellybelly.com you will be reminded of the importance of pillows. Usually, when women become more and more pregnant, their need for more pillows on the bed grows. This can be difficult for the partner who has to share the space with not only a pregnant woman but a bunch of feather-filled pillows. But the advice here would be to learn to love those pillows. She certainly will and you'll be making her life a lot easier if you don't put up a fuss with them. In fact, why don't you go out and buy a few more? Just get her permission first.
12 Go With The Baby Reveal
As Sarah on ScaryMommy.com says, "If she wants to do a crazy baby reveal, just roll with it." It may seem like a bit of a waste of time and money. After all, most people end up having kids and it's usually pretty obvious which sex the baby is. Unless she's having an actual elephant, a baby with unexplainable superpowers, or one that looks remarkably like Austin Powers, it's really not that exciting for other people.
But hey, if she wants to do it... just do it. It'll make her happy and you may end up having some fun. Well, if they just aren't your thing, you can try to have fun at least.
11 Go For A Tasting
Here's a cute idea from Kimberly over at Parents.com; take your pregnant partner for a root beer tasting. If she's the type who really enjoyed liquid happiness and really misses it while she's pregnant, there's really no alternative that will truly suffice.
However, you could take a hike down to your local Whole Foods and by a bunch of different rootbeers for her to sample. You can treat it just like a trip to the brewery. Another good alternative is purchasing a couple different types of sparkling juices if that's something she can drink.
10 Hang With The Baby
Yes, the baby (or babies) isn't born yet, but that doesn't necessarily mean you can't connect with it. And if you're not connecting with it, you will for sure endear yourself to your pregnant partner in the meantime. This great suggestion comes from real-life mama Andrea at Pregnancy.funtimesguide.com.
Play some music to her stomach. Read allowed to it. It doesn't matter what. Just spend a little time with the living thing growing in her stomach - Seriously, how cool is that?
Doing this will not only show her that you care about her unborn son or daughter, as well as that you want to be with her and share her joy.
9 Create That Birth Plan
A birth plan is super important, especially when you come to the last few months of her pregnancy. As Sarah on ScaryMommy.com talks about, you always need to contribute to that. After all, some of it does involve you.
Even if it all revolves around her, which it sort of does, she shouldn't have to create it on her own. It's a bit of work and she will need your input. Even she completely disregards it, at least you're trying to contribute. You're showing active interest and care and that's vital.
8 Notice That She's Wonder Woman
Want more good advice? Well, noticing just how powerful her body is during this insanely stressful period is a very good start. After all, she's not only needing to run her body 24/7 but she's also in the midst of creating another human being inside of her. That takes a boatload of work. Her body is basically a powerhouse. And it should be admired. SHe's basically a real-life Wonder Woman.
So, yeah... you should be reminding her of this. Let her know that you appreciate it. You can bet your money on the fact that she'll appreciate the thought.
7 Hydration Is Key
As Paula on The Bump says, "Hydration is always important, and during pregnancy, those fluids are even more precious than usual". This is something to take note of when it comes to looking after your partner while she's got a bun in the oven. This fact is backed up by the Mayo Clinic, which reminds us that her body needs the fluid to create amniotic fluid, flush toxins out of her body, increase blood volume, carry nutrients around her body, and even decrease the risk of preterm labor.
So, you should be keeping her well hydrated. Even if she knows this and has a glass of water beside her bed, always make sure she's got easy access to it.
6 Share Your Side
Another great piece of advice from Sarah on ScaryMommy.com is to always share your side of the bed if she should ask for it. People tend to be fiercely territorial when it comes to their side of the bed, but when your partner is pregnant, all bets are off. Seriously, if she wants it, she should have it. You may end up having a terrible sleep, but how do you think she's feeling? She has a baby growing inside her! Her body is going through so much! You can surely sleep on her side, on the couch, or on the floor if that's more comfortable for you.
5 Check Up
If you two are separated during the day for whatever reason, be it work, other obligations, or just naturally need a bit of "me time", be sure to check up on her. Just like any other time in life, your partner generally always appreciates being checked up on. Sure, you don't want to overdo it. You don't want to bombard her with text messages and phone calls, but you do want to remind her that you care and that she's on your mind.
But all of this is even more important when she's pregnant. She's going to require more emotional support than usual. Be kind. Be thoughtful.
4 Share Your Food
We've already spoken a little bit about food. After all, it's pretty important and relevant to a pregnant woman. But one thing we haven't really discussed is sharing food. Now some people hate when another person takes food off their plate. I'm sure we're all reminded of that episode of Friends where Joey's date eats his fries. But the truth is, you may have to let her do that while she's pregnant.
However, it's not a two-way street. If she wants something of yours, she can take it. But if you want something of hers... KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF!
3 Tone Down The Quips
Some people absolutely love being around someone with a sharp, edgy, even politically incorrect sense of humor. In other words, they can't stand the sterile, safe, personality-less jokes that come with every Sunday-school teacher. But when you're dealing with a pregnant woman, you don't want to risk upsetting her.
All those zingers may have worked well with her leading up to the pregnancy, but now her emotions are basically on steroids. She's ultra-sensitive and something she could have laughed at before may not fly.
Hey, she could be the type who needs that kind of humor to get through it all, but you may want to tone it down anyway just in case.
2 Go To The Doctor With Her
Yes, this does seem obvious, but it's something that you should absolutely do. As Stephanie says on MommyNearest.com, "It's great to have dad there with you". But it doesn't have to be "dad", it could be anyone partner, friend, or family member that can show her a little support and take down information that she may not be able to catch during her brief time with the doctor.
Additionally, it's also a great way to show her that you're taking a large interest in what's going on with her. After all, the chances are, this pregnancy is impacting you greatly as well.
1 Avoid The Glass Treatment
There's one last thing, in particular, you should be aware of when thinking about ways to help your partner through one of the most important parts of her life, and that's you shouldn't treat her like a delicate object. Sure, some of the entries on the long list above may just contradict this entry, but nobody wants to feel like they are fragile. And the truth is, she's not fragile... Her body is doing something pretty remarkable and intense. There are just certain things that are not good for it during this time. But that doesn't mean she should be treated like glass. Instead, think of her as a diamond. She's something to take extra-good care of but she's still beautiful and strong.
References: Babble.com, Bellybelly.com.au, ScaryMommy.com, Captialfm.co, Parents.com, ArtofManliness.com, Instructables.com, TheBump.com, MayoClinic.com, Idsliving.com, DaddyFiles.com, MommyNearest.com