Somewhere out there, there must be little prodigies who can draw beautiful pictures. Or just pictures that resemble something grounded in the real world. At the very least, there are people out there that can draw pictures that aren’t unsettling. And then there are the rest of us - the magic of childhood drawings is the lack of motor skills (look, figuring out how to use a body is tough) plus a totally unchecked imagination. On top of that beautiful combination is a developing understanding of the surrounding of the world that’s hilariously incomplete.
Every adult once proudly showed off a confusing little masterpiece decades ago to their parent or teacher and now, years later, we can finally understand the feelings that must have caused. It’s tough being an authority figure when you’re being shown a bit of gibberish that had a lot of hard work and effort put into it. Sure, there’s the value of being supportive but also, there’s personal safety to think about. Some of these drawings really make it seem like it’s a choice between patting the kid’s head or just running in the opposite direction. And if these drawings don’t make a fully grown adult want to run for their life, they definitely cause some existential re-examination.
First, some hard-hitting journalism rooted in an observation of the world a young mind may find itself growing up in. Personally, my favorite part of this drawing has to be that the bird seems to be eating the worm mid-flight and there’s another worm right behind them. It’s the sushi train equivalent of gobbling up poor little earthworms. Good for the bird eating in the sky- don’t go near that ground and risk getting “cot” by a cat.
Now for a little bit of anatomy. Yes, a dog’s body is full of bugs or some other tiny bacteria-looking guy with little feet. And at the base of the tail is… a door? And there’s the upper chest air vent, of course. I understand if this doesn’t look as much like a dog as it does a cat or just any other animal, but there’s captions on the original post that clarify this. Otherwise, I’d never make such a reckless claim.
There's nothing as indicative of being a little kid like judging a person in their mid-30s as so old that they’re very close to the metaphorical end of the waterslide. Every double-digit age seems so unreachable and ancient like anything past sixteen is bringing a walking cane down the water slide. As the old saying goes, of course. Also, this little human bean that’s going through life needs to put on some clothes - a cane isn’t nearly enough.
The magic of kid drawings really has less to do with misshapen animals and people and more to do with the completely ridiculous way of seeing the world. So this is a drawing of what probably is just a little six year old boy. Does he walk around with a flag to claim victory and big red military boots (not that those exist, but presumably these are like all-terrain Louboutin’s)? Of course not. This picture has almost nothing to do with reality and that’s the best part.
The pure magic of this picture has nothing to do with the many colors or elaborate designs- it’s just the simplicity of the story being told (that truly shouldn’t be told). It’s a multi-colored tsunami of vomit that’s just straight up consumed another child. This probably looked a lot more like some puke getting on a child in real life, but in this drawing it’s only “book 1" of a saga. That’s a story I can get on board with.
Is Valerie the baby sitter and was this letter hand delivered? Those are my first two questions. Really hope a parent or teacher intercepted it because no adult needs to look in the eyes of a kid who just drew this. That said, the formality of “Dear Valerie” is just gold. No “Yours Truly” or “Until I find you”? I wonder if Valerie is so sad because she has helmet hair or because her hair is rolling away like a football.
Maybe this is an otherwise innocent picture that just misunderstood how pajamas can't be seen once they’re underneath a blanket. Or it’s a very odd picture of someone being restrained. Either way, is that most of a teddy bear down by the feet? You know, by the little girl’s claw feet like she has the bottom half of a lobster for a body. And as far as whether that’s a door or a headboard up top… no one will ever know.
It’s pretty petty to criticize a child’s grammar, but just this once, let's get at it- where does the comma go? If I were a comma in this picture, where would I hide? Is Dare Candy being served or should this read “If you dare, Candy”? Is Candy the person or the food? Is “Candy” just a separate sentence? Look, I know this picture is weirdly unsettling that makes me really not want any food being offered. I just can’t gauge how unsettling it is until I get some answers on punctuation.
I love the idea of a child handing this to an adult while making way too much eye contact and it’s part of some assignment. But what assignment? Was the discussion about whether or not Santa’s real so this kid just really overcompensated and responded with this little theory? Also, this kid most likely got the idea from the “Look What You Made Me Do” music video but I just love it without that amount of context.
It’s pretty wild for a picture to be so unsettling without it just being originally drawn by a child, but then some ambitious little can-doer took the ultra-innocent imagery of Disney and went to town. This’ll make the most beloved childhood characters seem frightening. Oh, brick red eyes? Okay, that’s more than enough. Don’t even color in the dress- we’ve got more than enough here. A little teal hair and we’re totally in business.
I really do mean, did the bottom half of this character fall over, or is this a mouse thing that’s polka dotted and also is a connected mirror image of itself? Is that what’s happening? I’ll take any explanation for this. At the very least, both of these weird rat things seem to be having fun. So there’s that? It’s not much but it’ll do when something’s leg appears to be another creature’s neck. When that’s what you’re working with, the standards and expectations become really low.
“Hi honey, how was school today?” Oh, jeez. Shouldn’t have asked- save that question for someone with more professional training to prepare for the answer. There’s obviously a ton going on here but it’s mostly the words that seem to be written backward. Is that just kid handwriting or very impressive mirror writing? It’s honestly so disjointed and gibberish that it could have taken a lot of skill. As far as art conveying an emotion… yeah, this kid wants to drop out of school. That’s very clear.
So this is an iguana ingesting all of the mainstream while one determined survivor clings on to the road with a knife and that’s either… normal or not normal? It doesn’t really matter, but is that lizard creature being ridden by another lizard? Regardless, that’s a great little skirt on the master lizard. Yeah, so this is either the end of days or just what happens at three o’clock every day. Truly unclear how big of a deal it is for a dinosaur-sized animal to overtake the world.
My bias is becoming more clear towards the minimalistic drawings that tell a story no one is ready for, but this has to be in my top two favorites. It could be because nothing really needs to be labeled except the wave (is that a technical term here?) or because that is one genuinely cute dinosaur. He’s holding a rose? Is he waiting for a date but got stood up and now he’s being consumed by the aforementioned wave? Look, compliments to the chef- this one’s a thinker in a way that won’t keep me from sleeping tonight. But will hopefully enter my dreams.
Everybody knows that feeling! Possibly the best part of this drawing is that it was posted by the adult who drew it years ago as proof that they grew up to be a totally normal person and this picture didn’t inform anything about their future. Look, it's not mutually exclusive- the person who drew this was ultimately very normal and this picture is also kind of frightening. Being normal and being unsettling really aren’t separate- it’s the human condition to be a weirdo.
Whether this is the “Hows of Tarr” or “Hows or Tarr-or”, it’s definitely a haunted house. That said, it looks pretty nice. Yeah, weird placement of headstones in the front yard but those flowers are nice. Clearly, the graves are being maintained and kept up by someone who cares. I’ll definitely hang out for a tour of the “Hows” if I'm allowed inside. I’ve never seen a picture that’s meant to be scary that also has hearts- this kid is undeniably adorable.
I don’t expect anyone to believe me that this picture was intended to be of Rapunzel. Don’t take my word for it- I get that this is way more likely to be the most upset Daddy Longlegs. If I sound totally ridiculous associating this with a Disney princess… I get it. But seriously, that's what it's supposed to be. Wow, goodbye to Walt’s vision of the princess and hello to a new era.
This getaway plan is just the best. Was there a Disney movie that informed about this? Because it’s perfect. This is one pint-sized worrywart. Everything about this map feels, in their words, “hunted”. Really love that food has its own label. Also, can’t believe this didn’t come up first but on top of “Outside”- what’s the face in the sky? Is that a cartoon version of a sun wearing sunglasses? So intrigued if this plan to skip school worked out.
Really appreciate the turtles in the bottom right corner who are having such a bad day and also providing us a scale of exactly how mammoth this millipede thing is. Which is, you know, gigantic and also wearing the largest heart-patterned muumuu. Besides the most crooked teeth, it’s reasonable to assume this thing is just a very gigantic nanny creature? Somehow it looks matronly in a way I fully can't comprehend. Why do I want to trust this mutant giant?
Look, Rapunzel and everybody at Disney- I didn’t get up today intending to mess up your legacy by presenting all the worst interpretations of you. Really didn’t mean to seek out an image that should be cute and sweet and totally innocent and just smear it with whatever psychedelic spaghetti sauce this thing was colored in with. It wasn’t my intention but it was what happened. Also, as far as Disney princesses go, you’re nowhere near my favorite. I’d never do this to Mulan.
I’d never go as far to assume these are anyone’s interpretation of fireworks if it wasn’t just straight up written down as a quote by the kid who drew it. Obviously, it looks like a tissue someone used, or at least something abstract and unsettling. It’d be just presumptuous for me to claim this is a depiction of anything related to the 4th of July or New Years. But I swear, I’ve got it in writing.
Look, Tooth Fairy, first off, I should start by thanking you for all those dollar bills throughout the years. Thanks so much for that. Also, I had no idea you were involved in ballet- that’s really interesting. Clearly, the Tooth Fairy is way more dynamic than anyone gives her credit for. That being said, the Tooth Fairy really needs to leave. This is not good and the idea of her flying into my bedroom at night is totally not okay. I’m sorry but we might need to put a lifetime ban on the Tooth Fairy now that we know she has a nose.
Look, no one knows what this is. It would be very surprising if the child who drew this even knew what they created. An upright airplane with a face and toys? A bird with a crown playing a yo-yo? The king or queen of the puppet mastering and the puppets just happen to look like weird muffins? No one knows and no amount of research could answer this, so we’ll leave it as is. Side note, that smile needs to chill out. It’s a lot to handle.
I truly love and respect the naivety of the chump who thought that making this, so kids would just color and fill in drawings as opposed to creating them would solve anything. Life will find a way, and kids will make a totally standard outline of something that no one can wrap their head around. The letters seem like the noise a bat makes, which I have no proof of but I will accept before almost any other detail of this drawing. And the red stuff above and below is... who cares?
Sources: DrawingArtPop.com, Ebaumsworld.com, Complex.com, Vice.com