Ever hear that new moms look or act a certain way?
Kind of like being the new kid in school or a tourist in a big city, they just sort of stand out and seasoned moms can always seem to point them out of a crowd. Maybe it is the tired eyes or the twitch that happens anytime the little one hanging from those tired arms makes a peep, but there is just something about being a new mom.
Being a new mom has its challenges and its rewards but the most entertaining part is feeling like slowly but surely there is an induction ceremony to the moms club. With every late night or favorite shirt ruined, that Mom badge of honor gets closer and closer. But just what makes these new moms so visible?
We talked to a lot of moms about the most common things they did when they first became mothers that seems almost laughable now, and a few things they still do to this day, subconsciously of course. Looking for a good laugh or just wanting to edge even closer to the moms club?
Read on for the 21 subconscious things all new moms do when they are out with the baby.
21 Quick! Take Cover
Ok so you just had a human exit your body and now you are totally and completely responsible for protecting this completely defenseless little being and keeping them safe and healthy for the rest of their lives. Scary right? Well, that scary realization is made even scarier when you are out and about with your little one and someone coughs or sneezes near you or worse... on your baby!
All new moms subconsciously look for sick people and shield their new babies at the sign of even a hiccup.
It's hilarious to witness and really sets the new moms apart from the season ones.
Your new little one is so tiny and precious and the only thing you want is to guard that new baby smell as long as you possibly can. So when someone goes to reach for your newborn baby it is normal that you flinch when you see those strange hands coming right at your bundle of joy. Getting chills at the thought of someone else holding the baby is something all new mothers are guilty of, even when it's family– but seeing that reaction and that new mother hesitation can be really funny to witness for more experienced moms. Try not to worry, Mom, it will pass.
19 Anticipation Is Making Me Smile
Those first few times out for the little one, and even several months after, new mothers can almost time how long it takes people to give the gasp followed by the inevitable question, “awe how old is he/she?”
The fake smile you put on while you wait for the how old is the baby question is something all new mothers do subconsciously.
It is just part of not being the first thing that everyone notices anymore. Eventually, you will get used to it, although it may take some time. Besides, having people notice your little one first instead will give you extra time to explain how you spilled that mysterious stain on your shirt.
18 Defend The Gender
Whether your baby is bald or gifted with a full set of hair, depending on how they look and even how you dress him or her you may find yourself having to defend and explain the gender of your newborn to others.
Try not to get offended, newborns kind of all look alike, regardless of their gender, at least in the beginning.
And for new moms, that subconscious reflex for explaining the gender of your child to others just comes with the territory. "It's a (girl) right?" you may hear a few times, but that too will eventually pass. For now, just enjoy being your child's advocate.
17 Exit Strategy
We have all seen those mothers who look in complete disarray as their child is screaming with tears flowing from both of their eyes. Don't be that mom.
When going out with the baby many new mothers subconsciously look for the nearest exit upon arrival and every 10 minutes after just in case the little one starts to have a fit.
Unfortunately, this is something that will not change in the very near future. No one wants to be that mom. But, the good news is over time you will develop a bit of thicker skin and not care as much if your little one has a mini-meltdown in the middle of wherever you are.
16 Once And Then Again
Part of being a new mom is getting things done quickly and remembering everything, or at least trying to. Then second guessing yourself and asking yourself if you truly remembered everything only to reassure yourself that you absolutely have remembered everything and then realizing later that you forgot the most important thing.
When it comes to the diaper bag and preparing to leave–especially on the first few attempts of going out with the little one–you may find yourself subconsciously asking whether or not you remembered everything. Diapers, check, wipes, check, change of clothes, check and so on and so forth.
15 Just As Long As You Are Comfortable
This one is particularly true for traveling with a newborn. New mothers have an uncanny ability to subconsciously worry about how comfortable their baby may or may not be. If you are a new mom and you find yourself fidgeting and thinking of new ways to make your little one comfortable only to realize that after the 80th repositioning that you've done, that you are uncomfortable and that you have actually woken up your baby because you moved them so much.
Here is a word of advice, protect his or her head, and if he or she is sleeping, leave them that way.
14 Like A Fountain
Quite possibly the most frustrating part of being a new mother aside from the sleep deprivation has to be the leaking. If you see a new mother constantly checking her blouse or patting herself down it may be because she is looking to see if she is leaking. Hey, it happens to the best of us. Try not to be too embarrassed if it happens to you, even in the middle of the grocery store. Consider it just another badge to get you closer to the elite ranking of the moms club.
May we suggest super absorbent washable nursing pads? Just in case.
13 What's That Smell?
Just like during pregnancy, your new found mom-nose will continue to be as strong and refined as ever. You may find yourself smelling things before you see them, which is a pretty neat magic trick, by the way.
So if you happen to subconsciously smell something strange and then try to inconspicuously sniff your baby’s bottom several times when you are out and about, not to worry, this is totally normal.
Besides, it's better that you smell it before anyone else, right? That way you can at least do something about it. Come to think about it, you may have subconsciously scouted out a place to change your little one as well.
12 New Parent Curse
Consider it the new parent curse: every time you go out shopping you somehow subconsciously deviate from whatever your initial objective was for leaving the house in the first place and end up in the baby aisle.
There are always fun new toys, games or clothes being released for babies. Why not check them out? At least that is your rationale. The thing is, embrace looking at the baby products. You have a precious reason to do so, and when you do it with your little one it's even better because you can really see what something will look like on him or her.
11 Badge Of Liberation
Being a new mom is no small deal. It takes a lot of energy and even more time to do pretty much everything. Before you had a baby if you imagined it took you a while to get ready, it is now that you have one that you realize you never had a clue about time management and getting ready to go someplace.
It is for this reason that every now and again when you leave the house in something other than yoga pants and a high ponytail you may subconsciously feel proud of yourself for actually leaving the house and getting both you and your little one dressed and ready, for real.
10 Sleep Sighs
Did we mention just how tired you would be as a new mom? Are you still trying to keep up with your old life and the new one that has just been birthed to you? Yeah, that can be a little exhausting. And it seems that when you are at your most tired, that's when your little one is the most awake.
So if you find yourself rather subconsciously sighing a long sigh of relief when the baby finally gets to sleep just know it's normal.
When you're out with the little one, a sleeping baby means a few minutes of calm when you can quickly chat, shop or whatever with no interruption. I'd say a sigh of relief is required.
9 Worry Wart
New moms are programmed to worry. We worry about every possible thing subconsciously and consciously, it's part of the new mom special features package. Just know that it is normal to worry, but try to be rational in your worries at least.
No, no one is going to flip over the shopping cart while your little one is in it. No, that bit of breeze that just blew when you opened up the car door will not make your little one sick.
Again, it is normal to worry, but if you feel yourself obsessing over things that are seemingly illogical, you may want to consider getting help from a medical professional.
8 One Armed Bandit
As new mothers, we are thrown an unconscionable amount of obstacles we have to tackle all at once, all while also holding a baby.
This extreme level of multitasking forces us to become really skilled at doing things with only one hand, even our nondominant hand.
If you see a mother with a baby in one arm, one-handedly grab her wallet, load things in the car, answer a phone call and readjust her little one's hat all with the ease of someone who has been training for this moment like it is an Olympic event, just know that most of those acts are probably subconscious, and it probably took her a long while to get that skilled at handling it all.
7 Where To Eat
I will never forget the one day I took my three-month-old to IKEA with me for the day. I needed some last minute things for his nursery and I figured, why not. Going to IKEA is the test for any relationship, right? After we had walked the showroom for about an hour, and about three minutes into arriving at the marketplace my little one started crying out of hunger. I immediately began panicking as I looked for an inconspicuous place to feed him. Surrounded by beams and items with names from Sweden I started to feel myself spinning.
From that moment on, every time I go anywhere, I am constantly looking for a place to feed my baby.
6 Check Yourself
Just like leaking new moms will constantly check their clothes for baby spit up or anything else baby related. Once while in a taxi on my way to meet an important client I looked down to notice I had some mashed banana on my blouse where my little one had grabbed me to say goodbye. Though the memory made me smile, I was at a loss for what to do with my blouse.
If you are a new mom and find yourself subconsciously checking every inch of your clothes for signs that your baby was near, we get it, trust us.
5 Are You Okay?
On your first stroller trip with your baby, you may notice yourself stopping a lot. Not necessarily because walking is exhausting and you want to snap a picture of your little one and how cute he or she is on his or her first walk, but because you will subconsciously just want to make sure that he or she is okay.
Checking to make sure that your baby is okay 55 times over the course of 30 minutes is totally normal and just means that you care and that you are a new mother.
So try not to laugh when you see other new moms do it too.
4 Check Out My Style
One of the most unsettling things about becoming a new mother is the curiosity as to whether or not more seasoned moms are looking at your mom style. "Am I doing this right?" You may subconsciously think to yourself. "Is she looking at me?"
"Does she think I'm not a great mom because my little one is crying?"
All of these subconscious thoughts will eventually fade away as you start to notice that those looks are less judgemental and more out of solidarity. Instead of, "what is she doing," you may notice those looks are actually, "I've been there before."
3 Wardrobe Change
When you transition to life as a mom your wardrobe may have a slight shift as well. Try to think of this time in your life as a really good excuse for shopping.
Whether you need new clothes to adjust to your new mom figure, or you just need more easy access tops for your breastfeeding journey, wardrobe changes are just a part of motherhood.
However, if you find yourself subconsciously questioning whether or not what you are wearing is 'appropriate' since you are a mom now, this too will pass. Embrace the new you and wear what makes you feel great.
2 Going Back Home
As the hours march on during your first or second outing with the baby you may start to wonder if it is okay to be out this long with such a young baby.
Try to remember that there is very little that you are actually "supposed' to be doing as a new mother and that it is up to you to determine your own mothering style and the sort of rules you wish to follow for you and your family.
Going home after a long day is one of those things. As long as you are comfortable and you feel your little one is safe there is no need to subconsciously wonder if what you are doing is okay.
1 “I’m Really A Mom Now”
We have arrived at the most satisfying subconscious thought all new mothers have when they are out with their little one. It may be a bit surreal and even hard to believe from time to time, but eventually it will sink in, and then your baby will do something even cooler to shock and surprise you, one of these days while looking for the nearest exit or thinking about feeding your baby in public, or being proud when someone asks you how old your adorable child is, you will inevitably think,
"Wow. I am really a mom now."
And what a great mother you are.
References: personal experiences, Cosmopolitan.