20 Women Share The One Thing They Wish They Had Done Differently With Their First Child

When having a first child, there will be many that new parents will have no idea about. Many situations will be completely new and could make new parents stress that they are doing everything wrong. But every first-time mother has her ups and her downs. Most of the time it is a learning process that leads the parents to figure it out along the way! Even though every single situation may seem like it can alter the baby's life in massive ways, most of the time the little things won't matter in a year or two from now, so don't sweat the small stuff! Some of the more common mistakes that new moms make include spoiling their children too much, not putting their baby's on a schedule and being way too cautious when it comes to germs around their baby.

To help you better understand and relate to some new moms and the mistakes that they made we compiled a list of some of the funniest and most real Reddit comments from new moms. Read through these if you are feeling worried or stressed about being a new mom. Trust us you will feel a whole lot better once you peruse this article!

20 Giving My Daughter The Idea That She Owned Her Sibling


I inadvertently gave my 2.5 year old daughter the idea that her brother belonged to her by referring to him as "your baby" when I was pregnant. I didn't realize until a few months later, that she thought he was literally hers, and we had some issues with boundaries for a while. I don't recommend that one. Oops.” - GingerJuice

Kids have a knack for listening to what you are saying and twisting it into a completely different meaning.

They also have a habit of taking what their parents say way too seriously. Sometimes this can work out for you if you are trying to get them to believe something and, other times, it can backfire, like with this Reddit mother. When you are having a second child, trying to make your first child feel secure and excited about this new addition can be a difficult task. Though referring to the baby as “theirs” may seem like a good idea because it can help them form a connection with their sibling, you don’t want to run into the same problems as this Reddit mom. So maybe try a different tactic like having them help you decorate the babies nursery or including them in the name picking process? Another great way to keep them involved is bringing them to one or two of your sonograms so that they can physically see their sibling.

19 Allowing Them To Only Eat What They Want


Chicken nuggets. She's stuck on that now. Try to get her to eat regular chicken is a nightmare. It has to be plain - not even salt. She's a bean pole, all skinny legs, and she eats vegetables okay for the most part. But those nuggets.” - AndreaSquared

There will more than likely come a time in your child’s life when they are impossible and picky when it comes to their food. They will probably find one or two things that they really like and try to find a way to convince you to give it to them for every meal. In this Reddit users case, their little one took a liking to chicken nuggets. Once you let your little one get away with eating the same thing a couple of times, they will soon refuse anything else so it's best to try some different alternatives to what they like. Have a couple of different options on hand so that they feel like they still have a choice. Try to find something that looks or tastes similar to what their favorite is so that you don’t end up with a chicken nugget addicted two-year-old. The alternative is buying a whole lot of chicken nuggets.

18 Using Elmo As A Bribe


“Using Elmo as a bribe to get my son to eat. He's nearly two and I think he survives on air and dog hair alone. He refuses to eat all the time, but if we put on Sesame Street...or more specifically Elmo's World, he'll eat whatever we give him. This has backfired though, because now he won't eat without it. And any time a TV or device is near him, he just wildly points and yells 'Elmo, Elmo, Elmo!'” - Reddit-Or-Forget-It

It can be very tempting to bribe your little one to eat.

Once you have kids having a quiet and peaceful meal where everyone finishes what's on their plate may be gone for a while. Some kids like to watch TV or another electronic device while they eat but it may not be the best thing. These devices might not always be available to them, for example in school or if you are in a restaurant, so it's best to get them used to eating without the company of Dora, Elmo or any other friendly character. Instead, talk to them and keep them busy by playing little word games like I-Spy or Guess The Animal. This way their little minds are still busy and their tummies will be full by the end of dinner.

17 Letting Your Two Year Old Mimic Everything You Do


“Letting my toddler drink coffee. My little one loves copying anything I do, and I'm a big coffee drinker. She was desperately trying to get a sip from my cup of coffee, so I let her have a sip thinking that the bitter taste would put her off and she wouldn't want any more....nope, she loves it, and now tries to cadge a mouthful from me whenever she can. I have a caffeine cr20-month-old old. I am a bad mother.” - Sweetprincess686

Once your little ones become toddlers and start to notice the world around them, they will more than likely be 10 times more interested in anything that you have. They will constantly be grabbing at your food or drink dying for a bite or sip of whatever Mommy has. This Reddit user made the mistake of letting their child try their coffee. This will only lead to more issues down the road because it will make them want things that are probably not too healthy for them. Something that you can do to deter their constant interest is giving them a drink or food in a cup or container that looks similar to yours. Therefore they feel like they are eating or drinking whatever you are when they may, in fact, be having a more kid-friendly substitute.

16 Introducing Them To Youtube

Conscious Talk Magazine

“Introducing my 22 month old to YouTube. It started when I would turn my phone onto some toddler music videos in order to distract her. I would do it only occasionally, like when I was trying to do dishes or fold laundry or during long boring shopping trips. Now she constantly demands it.” - sarah252

When you are trying to get something done or are out in public it can be tempting to distract your little one with your phone or iPad.

There are a ton of kid-friendly videos on sites like Youtube but there are also a lot of inappropriate ones that may appear to be kid-friendly.

This is why it is probably best to keep kids off of sites like Youtube until they are old enough to determine the difference between what they are allowed to watch and what they are not. However, if you do let your little one watch Youtube or anything else on your phone then you may regret it because they are more likely to become addicted to the sites. You may end up like this Reddit Mom who finds her toddler demanding her phone at all hours of the day and night. It is best to set boundaries with your little ones as early as possible so they don’t end up thinking they are the boss of you!

15 Sleeping With Your Little One

Parents Magazine

“Our daughter sleeps in our bed.” - pm_me_ur_regret

Some say that co-sleeping can be one of the most common mistakes that first-time parents make because they always want to be as close to their little one as possible. Not only because it will be hard to break the habit when the baby grows up and is not so little anymore but also because it can be very dangerous. When you are sleeping you may not be aware of your movements and you don’t want to accidentally roll over on your baby. This can result in the unspeakable or an injury to your little one. According to Today.com, researchers found that 74% of deaths in babies younger than four months occurred in a bed-sharing situation in a study published by Pediatrics. Though, it is important to note that the study did not take into account any substance use by parents which can affect awareness in sleep. If you want to be close to your baby consider moving their crib or bassinet into your room for the time being. This way you will be able to hear them if they are crying but they are safe from harm in their own bed. Both you and your baby will be more comfortable if you have your own defined space.

14 Sanitizing, Sanitizing, Sanitizing!


“Over sanitizing, sterilizing, and protecting. The kid's got to build up an immune system and learn about things like gravity” - EaterOfFood

When you first become a mother you will feel like it's your duty to make sure that your little one is safe and sound from any little thing that might hurt or harm them in any way. This may include sanitizing your entire house every single time you get a second and sterilizing anything that they may come into contact with. However, like this Reddit mom discovered, this may have an adverse effect on your little one.

One of the most important things that your child will do when they are young is build up their immune system.

This will ensure that they are able to fight off viruses and other bacteria when they get older. If you keep them away from any and all germs then they will never have the chance to build up an immunity towards any and once they start daycare or school you will notice that they will constantly be getting sick. There is nothing wrong with asking those who hold your little one to put on some hand sanitizer but don’t go too overboard with scrubbing your house top to bottom every day or refusing to allow them access to the outside world because it is filled with scary things.

13 Listening To The Internet


“Going to the Internet instead of the pediatrician.” - eloquent_nyc

In this day and age, everyone goes to the internet whenever they have a question or concern about something. In many ways, books and even television have become irrelevant because the internet literally has everything that you could need, and then some. When you notice something is up with your little one or you have a question about something it may be your first instinct to go online and start googling to find out what is up.

However, this is probably not the best thing to do because in reality, Google doesn’t know your little one or their health history.

Therefore whatever you read may have absolutely no relevance to your little one. With that being said it is always best to contact your pediatrician whenever you have a question about your baby’s health, milestones, etc. They will be able to physically see your child and determine what is really going on with them instead of you taking an "educated" guess off of what you read on the internet.

Unless you are a pediatrician, know what the limitations of your knowledge are. Though you may know your child best, your pediatrician will know their mechanics best.

12 Tiptoeing Around Your Sleeping Baby


“Being super quiet when the baby is sleeping. This is how you end up with a child who needs absolute quiet to sleep.” - Shartina_Oduriss

For the first couple of months of your little one's life you will probably be sleep deprived and super stressed out. Once you finally get your baby to sleep, it can be tempting to not move a muscle so they don’t wake up and start crying once again. However, this may not be the best way to go because then you will find yourself with a baby that needs absolute quiet in order to get some shut-eye. This may not seem like a big deal when it’s just you and your baby at home but once your child starts school or you have more children you will soon bare witness to what your little angel acts like when they are deprived of their afternoon nap. It is always best to leave a TV or radio on for some background noise when your baby is asleep because it will get them used to sleep with a little bit of noise. You will find this super helpful when you are stuck in a store or at a family BBQ during their usual nap time.

11 Overreacting To Injuries

The Jody and Scott Show

“Rushing to the hospital every time the kid gets a little hurt” - SandyRoseie

As a first time parent, it can be very traumatizing the first time that your little one gets a scrape or a bruise because you feel like you should have been watching them better or paying more attention. Once you see blood, you will probably completely lose it and already be on your way to the emergency room.

This will result in a large number of hospital bills as well as countless hours spent at the hospital only to find out that our little one is perfectly fine.

The best thing to do when your little one gets hurt is to call their pediatrician before anything else. Ask them their opinion and see what they say, they will normally be able to tell you over the phone whether or not you should take your child in to see them or take them straight to the emergency room. If you overreact every time your child gets a scrape, then that will only cause them to overreact and may lead them to be anxious as they get older. So remember, if your little one gets hurt, don’t panic just take a deep breath!

10 Not Reading To The Baby


“Not reading the baby books. Also, worrying too much about little things.” - _neurd_

This Reddit user did not mean reading the baby books before you actually have a child, they meant reading to the baby. Even though it may not seem like they are paying attention or even understanding anything that you are reading to them, it actually helps them develop a lot and teaches them valuable language skills that will help them once they start schools. According to KidsHealth.com, studies have shown that the more stories you read out loud to your baby the more words they are exposed to and the better they will be able to speak when they come of age. Hearing you speak a ton of different words helps to build a rich network of words in a baby’s brain, something they will thank you for when they are able to get into any college they want! It may seem like there are not enough hours in the day and a bit like a pain to read to a baby that can’t even talk yet but make sure that you do. It will offer you some extra bonding and cuddle time with your little one who won’t be so little before you know it.

9 Refusing To Breastfeed, Formula Is Easier Right?!

Parents Magazine

“Going straight to formula. New Moms, if you have no problem producing breastmilk you should breastfeed as long as you possibly can. It's much healthier for the baby, and your husband will be a very grateful man, in more ways than one.” -SeeYouInBlack

There are many benefits to breastfeeding your baby. Pretty much all doctors can agree that breast milk offers your baby the perfect combination of the nutrients and vitamins that they need to grow up and reach their milestones. You also save a ton of money if you don’t need to buy formula for your growing little one! However, some women chose to go the formula route.

Formula seems like a lot more convenient, especially for those moms who are always on the go and for babies who will be starting daycare pretty soon after they are born.

You don’t have to worry about pumping, instead, all you have to do is pack the formula in the diaper bag and go! However, this is a personal decision that each individual mother needs to make on her own because there are a ton of different factors that go into it. There have been studies that show formula provides the same nutrients that breast milk does so it's really up to the mother. What works for one family won't necessarily work for another, so do what seems like the best you can do!

8 Having Another One…Too Soon


“Deciding to have a second kid.” -LeprosyMop

Many people say that having two kids is a completely different ball game than one. You now have to split your time between two different little ones and make sure that they are getting all of the love and attention that they need. It can be difficult, especially when you are just bringing your new little bundle of joy home and they require most of your time and attention. Now to say that this is a regret that most mothers have would probably be inaccurate, instead, some mothers feel like they had their second child too close to their first and as a result missed out on valuable bonding time with their first. Nonetheless, if you decide to have a second child, then it is not impossible to split your time between two kids, it just takes practice. Sure there will be times when one child feels left out or that they don’t get as much attention but eventually everyone will get into a flow and by that time your kids will be teenagers who want nothing to do with their annoying and overprotective parents!

7 Ignoring Your Instincts

mom holding baby looking at phone
Credit: iStock / Halfpoint

“Listening to unsolicited advice. You're the parent, you have a spidey sense they don't. Just accepting that you're the authority figure is huge.” -salvicswimmer

As a new parent every decision that you make – even what brand diapers you use – can seem scary. You don’t want to chose something that will mess up your child’s life and you don’t want to be the reason that they end up down the wrong path in life. As a result of this underlying fear, you may be tempted to listen to everyone else’s advice on what to do with your baby instead of listening to your own motherly instincts. This can be a mistake as what is good for one baby may not be good for your baby.

Be sure to listen to what your gut is telling you and block out all the others.

It’s not bad to listen to advice and take it into consideration, but at the end of the day you have to do what you think is right, as you are the mother. Motherly instincts are something that develop pretty much as soon as you find out that you are going to be a mother and may even come through before you have kids of your own if you are around children a lot. So remember, it’s your baby and you know what is best for him or her! Don’t listen to all of the snooty moms at the park, do what you think is best for your little one!

6 Not Putting Baby On A Schedule

Verywell Family

“When I had my first son I didn't know that you could put a baby on a schedule.” -dogsordiamonds

Having a new baby in the house will always be hectic as they don’t really have any sense of the time of day. They will cry when they are hungry no matter what time it is and sometimes you will go days without getting more than a couple hours of sleep. With that being said, it is possible to put your baby on a schedule, it's just not too easy. Some babies are super calm and naturally develop their own schedule but if your baby is super antsy or fussy it may be a bit harder. According to babycenter.com, there are seven keys to developing a schedule for your baby. The first one is to get your baby used to a bedtime routine. The next is to teach your baby the difference between night and day by keeping the house light during the day and dim at night. The third is to learn your baby’s cues and behaviors for when he is getting sleepy and/or hungry. The fourth is to prioritize your baby’s schedule for consistency, especially in the beginning. The fifth to expect changes and not to hold your baby to strict to the schedule as they continue to grow and develop. The sixth key is to adjust the schedule as they get older for continued success. The seventh and final key is to not expect perfection, these are babies were are talking about!

5 Working All Of The Time


“Not spending enough time with their kid because they need to work all the time” - blacklabradors

It is true that money makes the world go round. So working is a necessity for most mothers. According to DOL.gov, there are 25.1 million working mothers in the United States.

If you have to return to work a couple of weeks or months after having your little one was born, don’t feel like you are alone!

There are a ton of mothers out there who are experiencing the same emotions that you are! One regret that many mothers have once their kids grow up is that they didn’t spend enough time with them because of work. You don’t want to wake up one day and realize that you spent most of your life working but you also need to work in order to provide for your child, the struggle is very real! If you are worried about this or are currently experiencing this, then on your days off, be sure to plan something special or just spend some quality time with your children. Just talking to them and hanging out can go a long way, you will be surprised how much you can learn about your little one by just hanging out with them. And working moms, know that your kids appreciate everything you're doing for them!

4 Allowing Kids To Be Parents


“Thinking they're in charge” -madmomma34

Kids can be bossy, actually most kids are bossy. So, as a first time mother, it may be hard to determine what you should let your little one get away with and what you should nip in the bud from the get go. When your child is around two, talking back can seem cute and innocent but once they turn 16, it is not going to seem so cute anymore. If you don’t let them know that this is wrong, they honestly will never really know the difference between how they should address adults and what is disrespectful. Thus, you should try to correct this mistake as early on as you can. It can seem a bit daunting to discipline your first baby because you don’t know if you are doing it right and you don’t want them to hate you forever because you put them in time out, but don’t forget that kids need structure. Studies have shown that children actually thrive when they are in a structured environment so don’t be afraid to impose some rules, within reason, on your children as soon as they are old enough to comprehend. For little kids, the general rule of thumb is to not punish them too long because if you leave them sitting in time out for hours they most likely won’t even remember what they did in the first place.

3 Ignoring Postpartum Depression


“Telling everyone that I was fine when a lot of the time I wasn't. Postpartum depression is no joke. I wish I would have let others help me a bit more.” -Dingobingaling

Postpartum depression really is no joke and it is definitely not something that any woman should be ashamed of or try to hide. It affects a lot more women then you may think and there are different ways to deal with it.

Talk to your doctor if you suspect in the slightest that you have postpartum depression. 

According to postpartumprogress.com, on average, about 10-20% of women experience depression during or after their pregnancy. There are a ton of hormones in your body when you are pregnant and after you give birth. Sometimes they mix fine and other times it's a catastrophe that results in your mood doing a complete 180. Those who have never had postpartum depression may to understand it and even those who do have it may not understand it. You just had a little baby what can be making you so upset, right?! Wrong, there are a ton of other factors that play into this. So, don’t feel down about yourself or your mothering if you are, well, feeling down. If your mood is suddenly changing after you have had your baby then it's best to seek help from a medical professional because you don’t want to let it get too bad.

2 Having TV In Their Room


“Allowing my kids to have a tv in their room and watch tv until they fall asleep. Not being stern, allowing them to do what they want. Not wanting to say no, not hurting their feelings.” -krazyzane

Nowadays, it is pretty common for kids to have a television or computer in their bedroom. It can help calm a child who is scared of the dark and can also be a great tool for breaking the habit of your child sleeping in your bed. However, it is not recommended for very young children to have pretty much any screen time at all so it may not be the best idea. According to The New York Times, children who have televisions in their bedrooms score lower on tests and do not have as sound sleep as children who don’t have the noisy distraction in their room. With that being said, half of American children have a television set in their bedroom. Having a television in the bedroom is strongly associated with being overweight and a higher risk for smoking. Either way it is up to you whether or not you put a television in your child’s bedroom. If you chose to put screens in their room, then maybe try to limit the amount of time that watch it or try to set a TV timer on it so it goes off at a certain time.

1 Spoiling Your Little One

Daily Mail

“Spoiling is not a good thing.” -Megaross

As a parent, you will want to give your child everything that their little heart desires. But parents who give too much can end up spooling their kids in the long run and regretting it like this Reddit mom. Now this one can seem a bit hard, especially if it is your first child. You will want to give them everything that they ask for, especially when they look at you with those big cute eyes. It can be tricky to determine what you should give in to and what you shouldn’t.

But spoiling your little one, even when they are little, will be one of the biggest mistakes that you make.

Once they get older, you will more than likely regret giving in to their every demand because they will quickly go from a sassy toddler to a disrespectful teenager. So when your little one demands something from you, maybe try to get them to earn it by being good or helping out around the house. This will help them learn both the value of a dollar and working hard in order to get what you want. So when your little one comes up to you with puppy dog eyes begging for the hot new toy, be strong and try your best to not give in.

References: Reddit.com, The New York Times, postpartumprogress.com, DOL.gov, Kidshealth.com, Today, babycenter.com

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