Motherhood is a gift that many are unprepared to receive. For many years, prior to having children, many moms were content being the child themselves; the one who was taken care of by their parents, the ones who smirked when they saw kids crying their eyes out at the department store. Then… Wham! Suddenly, the women who were once living their lives without children, became a parent. And it all became crystal clear how their parents must have felt when in the same situations they are now being put in. Such as when moms, as children, were whining and crying, and how embarrassing it was for their parents when strangers gave them side glances. Deja vu. Motherhood is a totally different ball game. And while many women become mothers in their late twenties to early forties, there are a number of young women, barely out of their teens who also get their worlds turned upside down.
There is no denying that these young moms have it harder in general. Society tends to view these moms as being incapable of looking after another life on their own without any help. Many tend to shun them, giving them less than favorable names while others have a field day talking behind the backs of these young moms. But young or not, these women are also mothers who will fight tooth and nail to bring up their baby in the best way possible. And these are the 20 things that young moms should never ever sacrifice, no matter how dark the days may be.
Self-worth, often used as a synonym for self-esteem, is defined as a sense of one's own value or worth as a person. Simply put, a mother should value and have respect for herself and all the effort she has put in to raise her child. Many moms, especially the young ones tend to feel deflated and worthless, especially if they are forced to raise the child by themselves. On nights when the baby cries for reasons unknown, or when the child refused to listen or when others criticize her methods of bringing up the little one, the young mom might feel deflated. But to all young moms out there having a tough day, never ever let go of your self-worth.
19 Personal Time
Many young moms are surprised by how much they go through with the arrival of a new baby. Babies take up a lot of people's time and attention and being a mom, we sometimes feel guilty for even thinking of wanting to go on a vacation, or away from our children for even a few days. But that is exactly what all moms need. A breather. Some personal time and personal space, away from all the bawling, spit ups, soiled diapers and sleepless nights. Moms need a break too. And while some might think of moms as being selfish, it is actually for the good of her mental, emotional and physical well being. So to all young moms, if you can, try to arrange for some personal time off, it can be as short as one to two hours or if possible, a few days. And after a much-needed rejuvenation period, moms will be able to take even better care of their kids.
18 Her Job
It is a sad fact that many young moms choose to give up their day jobs to become stay at home moms. While being a SAHM is not a bad thing, (in fact it is a thankless job that deserves much recognition), moms, especially young moms should try to hang onto their day jobs (if possible). These moms are still young, and to stay out of the workforce at such a young age means that they would miss out on a lot of job opportunities and experiences. And if they were to decide to rejoin the workforce later in life, it would be a lot harder to get a job with good pay due to their lack of working experience.
Many moms' social life tend to dwindle after the birth of their children as most of their time would be devoted to raising their child. But moms, especially the young ones should never ever shut out their friends. It takes a whole village to raise a child and these moms could very well do with a couple of helping hands. And even if their friends don't have experience in looking after kids, they could at least lend an ear or act as a shoulder for these tired young moms to lean on. After all, what are friends for if not to cheer us up in times of need?
Some young moms are lucky enough to have their parents or family to help out in raising their kids. But these young moms should keep in mind not to depend too much on others so much so that they lose the ability to raise their child by themselves. After all, the child is their responsibility and not anyone else's. Others are there to help out, not to be leeched on so no matter how tempting the thought may be to fully let the grandparents or in-laws take over, young moms, never ever sacrifice your independence for the sake of a year or two of comfort. Children grow quickly and will become attached to whoever helps raise then the most.
15 Financial Security
To all young moms out there, never sacrifice your financial independence. Be it a trust fund, inheritance, investments or personal savings. Always save some for a rainy day. While the love for our child may compel us to buy and spend on only the best for our kids, never ever lose our logical thinking and spend our entire life savings on our children. Many young moms out there come from the middle to lower income group and are struggling to make ends meet. So while these moms would try to provide all things necessary for their children, they should keep in mind to keep some as a back up for the future.
14 Her Child's Well Being
As much as we may love our children, there is a fine line which we should not cross when it comes to looking after their well being. Young moms, while extremely loving and caring can be more naive in general and tend to give more to their children than they should. And while giving love and toys to our children is a norm, waiting on them hand and foot can instead cause our children to lose their ability to take care of themselves in the long run. So moms, it might break your heart to see the little ones struggling with their shoelaces or cry for the 100th teddy bear but some tough love may be necessary for their own good.
At the point of writing, we imagine many loving mothers struggling to care for their little ones. Often times, young moms may be worried by the responsibility of bringing up their child the right way. It might be extremely tempting to just give in to the pressure (such as depending solely on gadgets or giving in to the child's tantrum every time the cry) but always hang on to your values and core beliefs. Continue to be the salt and the light to your children, choosing instead to impart wisdom, humility, and grace to them.
It is extremely easy to get caught up in raising our kids so much so that we lose our sense of identity and our interests and hobbies. But young moms, pull yourselves together and do not forget your passion. Perhaps painting gives you satisfaction or gardening a sense of peace. Do not sacrifice your hobbies just for the sake of your children, no matter how deep the love may be. The kids will grow up one day and if we were to focus all our energies on them, it would be a lot harder to let go and find ourselves when they start preschool or leave the nest one day.
Ambition is what drives us. It gives us hope and something to look forward to. It fires us to improve ourselves and to work to become better than ever. Without ambition, people might lack the motivation to succeed in life. Therefore, young moms should hang on to their ambition, no matter how hard it may seem to achieve it and try to work towards their goal. Perhaps a young mom aimed to be a lawyer before she became pregnant, or she might have wanted to become a writer or an engineer. No one is stopping her. It might take her longer than the average student to achieve her dream but it is not impossible.
10 Dressing Up
Being a mom is by all means tiring. We wake up at the crack of dawn and work non stop until everyone else in the household is asleep. So it is only understandable to be tempted to let our looks and attires take a back seat. But let's not do that. Let's not cave in. Being a mom may be tiring but it certainly is a gift and it by no means should rob us of our sassiness. So let's continue to dress up and show the world and our little ones just how beautiful we actually are (inside and out). Put on our favorite dresses (or jeans and tops) and be prepared to wow our children with our fashion sense.
9 Quest for Knowledge
After the arrival of the baby, many of us eventually give up on catching up with the rest of the world. We become lazy and feel complacent, being very comfortable just watching the reruns of Baby Shark and Johnny Johnny instead of reading up on the latest scoop on the Wall Street Journal or maintaining interest in BBC or the National Geographic. No matter how cute and lovable our children may be, never give up our thirst for knowledge. Keep on reading and learning something new every day.
Studies have found that many mother's health takes a nosedive after the arrival of the baby. And this is most evident in young moms who have to cope with the change from being one who gets enough eat, sleep and being taken care of to one who has to feed, bathe and care for another being. But no matter how tired and fed up a young mom may be, it is detrimental that she doesn't turn to junk food, binge eating or simply skipping out on wholesome meals. On the contrary, these young moms need more nutrition than ever before so a good meal plan and lots of rest should be part of a young mom's daily goal.
7 Relationship With Spouse
Where once our spouses were our number ones, they would eventually be thrown into the backseat with the arrival of the baby. Suddenly, everything would be about the baby and this can leave the spouse feeling left out and unloved. Arguments may flare and grudges might form if not dealt with properly. So moms, and this isn't just aimed at the young ones, always take into consideration your partner's feelings and needs. Sure they may be able adults but deep down inside, they want to feel loved and pampered too.
6 Family Ties
Sometimes having a baby can make the family bond stronger. Other times, it can drive a family apart. Let us all try to follow the former and keep the family ties strong. For nothing is more important than raising a child in a happy and wholesome family. In times of need, grandma and grandad will be able to help and when the time comes, even the in-laws can help to chip in. Children are said to grow up more confidently in a tight-knit family. So go, bring the kids to the parent's place for the weekend, have them spend some time getting to know the baby and let the bond grow.
5 Self Pampering
Women age tremendously with the birth of the baby. First, the body's hormones go crazy and as if that wasn't enough, she has to spend at least a year or two of sleepless nights looking after the baby before they learn to sleep through the night peacefully. And to top that off, babies tend to stick to moms like glue, this leaving mom with practically no room for herself. So it is vital for moms to make some time to pamper themselves. Invest in the 5-minute masks, quickly pop into a hair salon for a much-needed hair cut when someone offers to look after the baby.
Sometimes we get too caught up in trying to raise our kids right that we full to see the humor in life and in certain situations. We blow things out of proportion and get upset over little things. Like when little David accidentally spills his milk and our temper hits the roof. Or when little Sally makes too much noise and we start getting angry. Chill out moms. Kids will be kids. The house will always be in a mess. Instead of getting too worked up over these trivial matters, why not try laughing it off? After all, laughter is the best medicine. Just try not to laugh too much lest people think that we have a screw or two lose in our heads.
3 Positivity in Life
Bringing up a child at such a young age means that one has to sacrifice many things. Youth, time, friends, etc and this can make any young mom feel negative and depressed. They will feel as if they get left out many major things in life. But it is important not to let the negativity get to oneself. Being a young mom means that there will be less of an age gap between the mother and child. And when the child becomes a teen, the once young mom can still get to hang out with them together and maybe even pass off for an older sibling!
2 Social Media
Social media has become a necessity. It is a platform for information trading and it allows us to keep in touch with our friends and loved ones. Moms might have trouble stepping out of the house and hanging out with friends, so they can depend on social media to keep themselves updated as well as to share the baby pics with their friends. Moms won't feel isolated with all the gossip and updates available through social media so never give up on them!
1 Having More Kids
Sometimes, having a child at a young age can deter a mom from wanting to expand her brood. This is especially true if she had very little help with bringing up her child or if she had to put her education or career on hold. But still, if the mom is financially, physically and emotionally capable, then why not give motherhood another try a few years down the line? It might be a whole new experience, one that is easier and sweeter since the would be more experienced in handling all the baby troubles this time around. So, never say never.
Sources: Wikipedia, Parenting.org