What exactly is a Basic Mom? According to Urban Dictionary, a "basic mom" is defined as a walking mom cliché. She has the classic "Can I speak to the manager" haircut (à la Kate Gosselin), drives an SUV, wears athleisurewear on her Target runs, and is currently sipping a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte while vigilantly protecting her child from gluten. Basic moms have at least 20 different Pinterest boards, a door wreath for every season, an Amazon Prime subscription and a $10 bottle Pinot Grigio in their stainless steel fridge that they crack open at exactly 5 p.m. because "the struggle is real."
In other words, basic moms are nothing like the jet-setting, high-end fashion Kardashians of this world with their lavish lifestyles and an army of nannies at their disposal.
Yes, the Kardashian sisters are moms, but they're not the kind of basic moms that we can relate to. Kourtney Kardashian might have three kids, but you won't find her arguing with a manager over a price check when she can afford to buy the entire store! She isn't wearing yoga pants and a NorthFace Jacket. She's wearing a Saint Laurent lace-up suede bustier and Gucci sandals that are worth more than your children's 529 accounts.
Kourtney Kardashian might have three kids under 10 and a complicated relationship with her baby daddy, but that's where her similarities with other moms end. Here are 20 photos from Kourtney Kardashian's Instagram that prove she's anything but a basic mom.
20 Mom Can Eat What She Wants
Basic moms wouldn't be caught eating anything other than a salad at Panera, but Kourtney Kardashian is anything but basic. Don't ask us how, but Kourtney loves to take pictures of herself enjoying high-calorie foods (despite the fact that she's just under 100 lbs).
It looks like celebrities can afford to splurge when they've got a "personal trainer to the stars" available to them every day of the week.
Just kidding, I'd be surprised if they took more than one bite of these sickeningly sweet desserts since this was 100% staged for a photoshoot. Even so, not many basic moms get dressed up to take a picture with foods they're never going to eat.
Ah, the life of a Kardashian!
19 Gelato Every Day
Kourtney posted a picture of herself with her oldest son, Mason, at a Gelateria bar in Portofino, Italy on Instagram and captioned it with, "17:00 every day."
Um...what?! Basic moms don't take their kids to eat gelato at 5 p.m. every day, much less to authentic "Gelateria bars" in Portofino, Italy! Basic moms don't even know where to get authentic gelato, we mostly just hit up the tiny Italian ice booth at the local mall (you know, the one next to the giant pretzels). Most American kids prefer dipping dots anyway, but I guess Kourtney Kardashian doesn't have "basic kids," either.
18 Just A Kid On An Italian Yacht
When basic moms take their kids on a boat ride, it usually involves Uncle Gary's 14' pontoon boat, a ride on a partially inflated inter-tube, and if you're lucky, a pizza and an ice-cold Fanta at the end of the day.
Boat rides in Kardashian-land mean something totally different (and a lot less basic).
Kourtney posted this picture on Instagram of her daughter standing on Italian leather seats on an Italian Yacht in what is (most likely) red Italian leather cowgirl boots. I've walked this earth for 36 years and I've never looked as sophisticated and Euro-chic as the 6-year-old in this photograph, but it's whatever.
17 Rich Kids Don't Need Etiquette
Basic moms worry about little things like gluten intolerance and table manners, but Penelope Disick's mom? Not so much. Penelope is Kourtney's only girl, and as such, I think it's pretty safe to say that she's spoiled and can do whatever the heck she wants.
Oh, she wants to eat a bowl full of plain noodles without cutlery? Why not?! I'm sure if she drops anything on that one-of-a-kind rainbow outfit, they'll just throw it out and buy her a new one. Basic moms wouldn't be caught posting a picture of their kids with pasta hanging out of their mouths, but Kourtney doesn't care what anyone thinks because she can afford not to care.
In the end, she's still richer than 99% of her haters.
16 Anything But Basic
Basic moms might get their nursery ideas from Pinterest, but the end result is always cheaper and more practical (think a combination of IKEA and Pottery Barn).
Penelope Disick's nursery, however? No expense spared! The pink grass-cloth wallcoverings are from Ralph Lauren, and the rug is by Madeline Weinrib. The modern Oeuf Sparrow Crib will set you back $1000, the pink Serena & Lily accent baskets are well over $100 each, and I don't even want to know how much that pink Hermès baby blanket costs.
The pièce de résistance? The stunning Marjorie Skouras Design Turquoise Empire Chandelier, which sells for around $5000. Not exactly basic.
15 Spare No Expense
You know what a basic mom would say to this? "Get that float into the water, it's ruining the grass!" Do you think Kourtney spends her time thinking about something as plebeian as lawn care maintenance?
Heck no! Kourtney bought this gigantic rainbow pool float so her little girl could lounge on it wherever the heck she wants, pool or not. Kourtney lives for a cute photo opportunity, so she put on some overpriced shiny pants, threw a unicorn horn on her head, and seized the moment! Who cares if that oversized float has been sitting on that grass for over a week now? She probably gets new sod put in every spring.
14 Meeting Mickey
A lot of moms take their kids to see Mickey, you say.
Sure, but not a lot of moms visiting Disneyland get the VIP treatment complete with a private tour guide, a private audience with every single character, and park hopper passes all for free.
Ah, the perks of being a Kardashian. Basic moms use their iPhones to snap quick pictures of their kids next to Mickey after waiting in a line for an hour and a half before being quickly ushered off to the next character, but as I've said, there's nothing basic about Kourtney Kardashian's life (or the lives of her kids).
I'm sure they could have had an hour-long private luncheon with any Disney character of their choice had they asked for it.
13 Spa Day With The Kids
Most "basic moms" only get a spa day gift certificate for their birthday, Mother's Day, or Christmas (in other words, it's not exactly something they do every day). When they DO go, you best believe they're not bringing their kids with them! Bringing your small kids with you to the spa is a HUGE no-no in the regular world, where other moms have also paid to have a relaxing, kid-free afternoon.
If you have enough money, you can rent out the entire spa for yourself and your entire family without disturbing anyone, which is exactly what Kourtney Kardashian did (and posted about on Instagram). Wow, it must be nice.
12 Snow Mobile Rides With Mom
Do "basic moms" take their kids on ski trips? Maybe, but usually only to the bunny slopes in Vermont! If you're really lucky your parents might take you snow tubing for the day and hook you up with some hot chocolate, but Kourtney's kids are living on another level.
Not only do they get to go skiing in Vail, Colorado every winter, they also get to take sweet rides with mom and dad on snowmobiles. You know, normal kid stuff. Basic moms might rent a snowmobile for a couple of hours (once or twice in their life), but Kourtney can afford to have her own and use them as long as she likes. Nothing basic about that.
11 "I'm A Cool Mom"
Basic moms definitely shop at Target and Walmart around Christmas time, but they don't usually take a picture of themselves sitting on a kid's bike and looking cute in an "ugly sweater" alongside their (much younger) boyfriend. Kourtney Kardashian does, though!
If a normal (basic) 39-year-old parent posed for pictures on kids' bikes, 9/10 of them would be asked to leave, but not if you're a Kardashian!
It doesn't matter how old Kourtney is, she still looks like a beautiful, hip 18-year-old just goofing off in the store. She knew it, too, which is why she asked a random Walmart shopper to take this picture.
10 Personal Pool Cabanas
Kourtney's caption to this Instagram picture was something along the lines of "don't want it to end," which suggests that this was what she did all summer long. In case you were unsure, that's not just a private pool cabana, that's also a fully stocked bar (complete with servers). Yes, that appears to be the kids' playground right next to it.
Basic moms have to spend at least 30 minutes packing towels, pool snacks, sunscreen, and pool toys before hauling it all out to the crowded community pool for a couple of hours (where absolutely no alcohol is allowed, btw). Kourtney just walks into her backyard and everything is already there (including the margaritas). Living the dream.
9 Better Than A Block Party
I'm going to just assume that's another yacht, or maybe a fancy sailboat (I'm too basic to know my boats).
Either way, Kourtney Kardashian celebrates July 4th in the Hamptons, on a boat, wearing an adorable, customized sailor's get-up (that most moms would look awful in).
Basic moms spend the 4th of July baking their famous casseroles for the neighborhood block party, but I'm guessing Kourtney has never baked a casserole in her life (if she has, I'd be surprised). Given who raised her, I'm not surprised that Kourtney doesn't have a basic bone in her body (or a casserole recipe at hand).
8 Photo Ops At The Sprinkle Pool
Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe spent a day with the kids at the Museum of Ice Cream in Los Angeles and filmed the museum visit for Keeping Up With the Kardashians (of course). Not surprisingly, the Kardashian sisters used the entire museum as a prop for their own personal photoshoots (Kim was looking quite chic in a black dress and heels, nothing basic about that).
Most moms wouldn't get dressed up to take their kids to a museum, but then again, most moms wouldn't be busy taking selfies of themselves in a gigantic pool of sprinkles, either.
Thank God the nannies and the camera crew were looking after those kids!
7 Helicopter To The Hamptons (Of Course)
Most children would be pretty excited to ride in a helicopter, but only one of these kids is looking out the window! Craziness! These kids are clearly used to the luxe life, so good luck on impressing them as adults. In the picture above the family is taking a helicopter to the Springs (another high-end resort for the family to lounge about in), and the moms are just sitting around like it's another day in the life (because it is for them).
Basic moms take their kids to the Great Wolf Lodge for two days (three if they get a discount), and even then they're going in their trusty Honda Odyssey. Helicopter rides aren't a form of transportation in the real world.
6 In Danger (Of Getting Spoiled)
Children of "basic moms" are lucky to see the Jurassic World movies in the movie theater, but Kourtney and her kids paid a visit to Oahu's Kualoa Ranch, where Jurassic World, Lost, Godzilla, and The Hunger Games were all filmed. Of course, they had to pretend they were running out of the gates so Kourtney could caption the shot on Instagram with "BEWARE of DINOSAURS!"
A lot of kids like the Jurassic World movies, but usually, they'll just get a movie poster or a Funko Pop, not a trip to Hawaii to see where it was filmed. Seriously, going through Kourtney's Instagram pictures is like looking at a life being lived in another (more luxurious) dimension.
5 Don't Worry, They'll Just Buy A New One
OMG, STOP IT. I only sat on the hood of my parents' car ONCE and I barely lived to tell the tale (and that was a 1989 Pontiac Grand Prix). What parents let their kids climb on top of ANY car, much less an expensive one? Not basic moms, that's for sure.
Unsurprisingly, Kourtney took a lot of heat for letting her kids climb on top of her $122K Mercedes G-Wagon like it ain't no thing.
Flaunting her wealth much?
“Maybe all these pics trying to show off are the reasons you all keep getting robbed,” one commenter pointed out. “I would never take pics of my cars, jewelry etc … looks desperate and not classy #newmoneyproblems #unfollowed #classless.”
4 Personalized Style For The Kiddos
When you're the daughter of Kourtney Kardashian, a woman famous for fashion and reality TV, you're not going to step out of the house wearing just anything. Penelope is only six, but she's got more fashion in her little finger than you probably do in your entire body (thanks to her rich mom). Kourtney has been known to deck Penelope out in fur coats, cross-body bags, baby Vans, tiny bowie boots, and of course, the personalized denim jacket pictured above.
Penelope is never going to be caught wearing something as basic as Keens or Crocs! There's nothing normal about Kourtney's style, so there's nothing normal about Penelope's. If mama's going to look good, then her kids are going to look better.
3 Snacking In Bed
Basic moms would lose their minds if they saw you munching on chips IN BED, but Kourtney Kardashian is decidedly not basic. Why should she have to worry about crumbs in bed when she's not the one who cleans the sheets?
That's the housekeeper's problem (let's all have a moment of silence for the housekeeper).
Not only that, but Kourtney obviously doesn't have any hard and fast rules about snacking before bedtime at all, both in or out of bed! If I sat in bed and snacked on Ruffles I'd pack on at least 10 lbs of water weight overnight, but I'm sure Kourtney will just sweat it all out in her personal sauna. No biggie.
2 No Rules
This picture makes me feel several different emotions at once. First, I fear for the safety of the little boy standing precariously on the handlebars of his 4-wheeler because I'm a BASIC MOM all the way and I foresee the loss of two front teeth.
Second, I think GET OFF OF THOSE HANDLE BARS because I'm willing to bet that toy costs a pretty penny (and, again, I'm basic and I wouldn't pay for another one).
Third, I want to tell both kids to put some shoes on before they step on something sharp.
Kourtney, however, saw it as nothing but a perfect addition to her Instagram feed because she's living in her own little world, free of "basic mom" hang-ups.
1 Mom's So Extra
Recently Kourtney posted this old picture to Instagram and captioned it with, "My kids don’t want to do a group costume with me this year 😩"
Maybe your kids are just tired of your EXTRA ways, Kourtney! Maybe your daughter wants to be the one who gets all the attention this year instead of you! It's kind of hard to show up a Kardashian sister in costume, no matter how cute of a kid you are. It's not hard to imagine Kourtney highjacking every special event, but maybe this year she'll make Halloween more about her kids and less about another photo shoot.
Maybe basic's not that bad, after all.