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20 Parents Lay Out The Most Pointless School Projects Their Kids Were Assigned

There’s really nothing better than sitting around with friends and just swapping life stories. It’s amazing to hear the stuff that’s so relatable and yet kind of unimaginable. The only limits to all the stories to be heard are either how many friends someone has, or if those friends have good stories. And if they don’t… well, don’t cut them loose just yet. The point is that the Internet is an endless well for friends we haven’t met yet (hopefully).

It sounds idyllic but look, at its finest, the Internet is all that, plus pictures of everyone’s pets. It’s a glorious ideal and every now and then, even the depths of the Internet live up to that standard. On top of all of that, there are a few stories that are more entertaining and just totally weirder than the ones from a person's real life childhood. They’re the situations that weren’t at all questioned at the time, that are now obviously not how things are done; or just how we handle those situations is hilarious because we were kids then who reacted impulsively and honestly. Everyone knows that in hindsight all memories are seen with 20/20 vision, but hindsight is also straight-up hilarious.

Here are 20 school projects assigned by school teachers that were actually ridiculous...

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20 The Life Story No One Would Read

It’s totally fair when a class clown kid riles up the annoyance of a teacher, but it can also be hilarious. And you just have to side with the kid for being so cute and clever. A short story ran its logical course when one kid had to play author. "I got a punishment exercise once that was to write about the life of a ping pong ball had to be 400 words so I think I started it off with I was bought for £3.99 then I was taken out of the box and my life consisted of Ping Pong, Ping Pong for another 378 times."

19 The Teacher Who Was Convinced Seat Belts Are Useless

It’s such an eyebrow raiser when a teacher is not only hooked on their weird interpretation of a topic but they’re also flat wrong. Like, disagrees with every single authority and source of academic information level of wrong. Not even recent news wrong, just well-established wrong. To clarify, here’s a story: "Our science teacher did not think seat belts did anything. We disagreed. She told us to do a 5 page paper on why seat belts are ineffective. She told us not to voice our opinions in it, only present the one side of the argument, her side."

18 The Assignment That Did Not Treat Ladybugs Very Kindly

A lot of these assignments are off-kilter but harmless. Not true for all of them and that's when it's more than just a bad use of time. "My sister's elementary science project titled 'What temperature do ladybugs prefer?' This brilliant experiment required a mason jar of ladybugs placed in the following locations, kitchen counter, porch stoop, refrigerator, and...freezer for good measure. Observed daily for two weeks, documenting changes. All [passed away]. Some lived longer than others. Ladybugs prefer not an icy habitat.” Yeah, those children definitely knew that before going into the assignment and there are other ways to teach the scientific method that doesn’t involve lives.

17 Students Wrote Letters To Santa, Only To Be Told Santa Doesn't Exist

Then there are the assignments that aren’t too much on the surface, but in the grand scheme of things, they’re pretty harsh. It takes a while for the effect to sit in until it does. Consider the times when teachers forget the rules and assumptions they themselves set… and end up dashing your childhood. Yeah, that’s a big old doozie. ”We wrote letters to Santa, then a month or two later, the teacher read us a story which mentioned Santa not being real.” Ugh, way to bond a class through experiences but not in a great way. Those kids will definitely complain about this teacher together in high school.

16 It Made No Sense To Write English Haikus For Spanish Class

Of course, some memories don’t require any distance at all to properly gauge how silly they are. Sometimes life just presents you with direct contradictions, probably assigned by an adult with no time to be told why they’re wrong. As far as school projects that were never worth doing go, this one is pretty obvious on the surface:"In Spanish class, we had to write a haiku in English”. Yeah, that never needed to happen and all of this person’s Spanish class immediately recognized that. How did the teacher not stop themselves mid-sentence while assigning this and be like, hold on.

15 Having To Write A Letter About A School Policy Students Didn't Like Was Just A Trap

It’s really unfair when a teacher turns their authority on you. If you’re wondering what crosses the line, here you go - "In high school, we had to write a letter about a policy we didn't like and address it to someone in a high position at a company [...] or whatever. Everyone thought it was just an exercise so most of us just wrote a letter to the principal about a stupid school rule that we didn't like. Turns out the teacher actually sent every letter without telling us, one at a time we were called into the principal's office and about 3/4 of the class got detentions for it".

14 When They Cast Tyler Perry In 'The Scarlett Letter'

As annoying as the clever kids might have been to teachers lacking a sense of humor, they’re our heroes. And the teachers who are ready to laugh at themselves also get to be the recipient of this comedy gold. One person recalls that: ”We had to create movie cast for a book we were reading and explain why we cast the actors in each role. We created "Tyler Perry's, The Scarlet Letter" and just put Tyler Perry in every part. I'm fairly sure we got a good grade.” Honestly, that movie would probably sell a lot more tickets than some other versions of the movie. Also, Tyler Perry movies were probably removed from future year’s options.

13 Collecting Plant Samples... In Canadian Winter

Some homework just makes it really clear the teacher is new in town. "My biology teacher during my senior year wanted us to collect all these plant samples. In winter. On the west coast of Canada. Yeah...about 75% of the plants she assigned us weren't blooming at all during this time. To be fair, she was from South Africa. But honestly...maybe research the area before assigning a project like that.” It’s understandable that she had a lot of work ahead between unpacking and setting a curriculum… but this feels like a large oversight. A country-sized oversight, even.

12 When Students Learned The Eiffel Tower Is In London

A weird assignment can really go off the rails when no one else realizes a major flaw. Except it takes place in front of your class, like this situation. "Reminds me a little bit of a project I did in 7th grade with another guy my age and two 6th graders (we all have classes together and our curriculum is on a rotation). We spent a week researching Great Britain and Ireland, and right before we presented, one of the 6th graders said: "I'd like to go to London to see the Eiffel Tower!". The other two guys agreed with him."

11 When Students Had To Learn A Song About Which Figures Were On Which Bills

Everyone’s had that one class where the weeks pass and you realize your teacher doesn’t know the topic either. It’s an awkward realization, but if the assignments have more to do with details than underlying concepts… that teacher is making it up on the fly. "Took a business class in high school. The first assignment was learning to sing a song about which [men] were on which bills. There were accompanying arm and body motions.” Yes, those men all have their place in history… but there’s a lot more to finance than who is on what and those concepts take more work to understand than memorizing which bill has which person on it. Even with cardio considered.

10 When Even Your Mom Agrees The Assignment Is Pointless

It’s a pretty sure-fire sign that an assignment is absolutely not worth doing when even your parents are in your corner to not do the homework. Case in point: "I had to write the numbers 1-500 when I was in 3rd grade. My mom was the last person to make excuses for me, but she wrote a note to the teacher saying that she told me I didn't have to do it because it was pointless.” That parent has a great point- once you’ve written one through nine a few times, there’s really no surprises for the next few years of math.

9 A Comprehensive Study On.... The Kettle

It’s sure that an assignment will turn out to be more memorable than informative when it can be summarized by a single random name. Take this short and sweet tale of busy work gone wrong: "The kettle project. Minimum 4 pages on the history and development of kettles.” Not even Home Ec classes include that intense of a historical component because it’s just not practical. And the actual History classes don’t focus on kettles because, well, that’s not practical either. Then again, this person now is the proud owner of a truly useless well of information about one random thing.

8 'The Odyssey' Re-Imagined As A Theme Park

Even the classics can be tripped up by the right teacher: "In 9th grade, we read the Odyssey. When we finished we had to make a PowerPoint detailing an Odyssey-themed theme park. By far the dumbest, most useless project ever. The best I could come up with was 'there would be a taco stand named Telemacus Tacos'". I swear this is the dumbest thing I've ever had to do. I can't believe my teacher was fuming when I had almost nothing to contribute.” Yeah, literature is all about interpretation but the point of “The Odyssey” really isn’t food puns. Unfortunately.

7 When The Teachers Just Want To Know Who The Cool Kids Are

Sure, teachers are surrounded by children for their entire working day but they’re not supposed to act like them. Or at least they’re supposed to judge them by nice people standards, like prioritizing work ethics and honesty over popularity. But that’s not always true - "We had to take a survey that eventually mapped social relationships in our class, effectively outlining the popular kids and the social outcasts on paper. Totally not awkward.” Don’t tell me they were learning the taxonomy of animals or how to graph- there were so many other ways to do this that wouldn’t end in tears.

6 When The Assignment Was Literally To Copy The Words Into The Blanks

It’s so gorgeous when a teacher really gaffs and makes answers too obvious: "We once had a crossword in Chemistry. Crosswords are stupid assignments anyway, but this one took the cake. Instead of clues to figure out and write in blanks, the clues were the words. The assignment was literally to copy the words into the blanks. The teacher used some old Windows 95 program to make them. The program could make either crosswords or word searches. I'm pretty sure she meant to make a word search and made a crossword by accident, but you think she would have realized at some point."

5 Sometimes You're Just Helping The Sub Out

Sometimes an assignment is just cuter than you’d expect: "In my grade 10 IB Math class, one day our teacher was absent and one of the PE teachers subbed in…. So he begins class with assigning us some textbook work, and then telling everyone that there was going to be a test…. With about 10 minutes left in class, the teacher tells everyone to take out a piece of paper, and to answer the question on the overhead. We had until the end of class to complete our answer. He turns on the projector and the only thing written is "I just got a new boat. What should I name it?

4 Homework Can Be The Reason You Don't Fit In

It’s hilarious the things some people can assume the rest of humanity also assumes to be totally commonplace… especially when you’re an outsider with really no frame of reference or context. Even the most situations relate: “I went to college in Illinois. The very first assignment in English 101 145 was: 'Write an essay about what it's like to be in a cornfield to someone who's never been in one.' I had to raise my hand and be like, "Ummmm ... I'm from New Jersey." Everyone was flabbergasted that there could be a person on earth who had never been in a cornfield.”

3 The Unpleasant Assignment That Taught This Student Meat Won't Spoil

Some memories barely make sense - "I was very unenthused about a project in 5th grade. I called it 'meat gone bad'. It was 3 jars filled with 3 different types of lunch meat. It was supposed to be about which product spoiled fastest, but little did I know at the time that lunch meat is filled with preservatives and won't spoil even if you put it in sunlight for days. I ended up fudging the results and including no real science. "The ham smelled the most, the bologna smelled the least and the olive loaf smelled medium" was how I ended it."

2 In-School Fashion Shows Are Odd

Maybe the assignment sort of makes sense but the way it turns out is just really rough for that person. And amazing for the rest of us. It’s incredible this person let the Internet on such a weird memory but they shared that, "In French class, in 7th grade, we had to do a fashion show. I had to wear a diaper.” Okay, let’s break that down. There’s cause to have a fashion show if you’re learning words for blouses and shoes. But diapers? Whose call was that and how did this person get stuck with that? And what grade did they receive?

1 The Bar Is So, So Low

Let’s not stand in the way of this story: "8th Grade, making rock candy… The project had been announced 4 weeks before it was due… Well, my mom got to snooping around, and found out about the project the weekend it was assigned. So we started it that weekend. I walk in with a jar full of green crystalized sugar. The girl sitting next to me started hers the Saturday before it was due (so it had only sat for two days)… I stared at her for a good ten minutes. The best part? Her mom was our algebra teacher."

References: Reddit.com

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