www.moms.com

20 Hilarious Thoughts Dads Had While In The Delivery Room

Even though dads play an important role in the whole process from conceiving a baby to welcoming them into this world, we rarely hear their stories about delivery. Of course, it's totally clear that a mom's story is much more credible in this case because she is the one who has to endure the process and do all the work. But if her significant other is there in the delivery room to support her and help her feel better, then he also deserves to be able to share his thoughts about the process -- most of the time, at least.

Besides, childbirth is actually stressful not only for moms but also for dads because they get to see the things they aren't used to seeing. And some of the things they never expected to see... Due to all this stress, they can behave in a weird way. Sometimes they make jokes that aren't at all funny. Sometimes they say things without thinking first or come completely unprepared for the process. And other times, they simply become bewildered at everything happening in front of their eyes.

So let us take a look at some of the funniest (and, also, most touching) things dads said or did in a delivery room.

Continue scrolling to keep reading

Click the button below to start this article in quick view

Start Now

20 "Did The Baby Go Back In There?!"

Via: VideoBlocks

Everyone knows that when a mother is pushing, she's helping her baby go through the birth canal and out into the world. But sometimes, a weird situation may happen. While the mother is pushing, the baby's head begins to show out and if she stops pushing, the head goes back in. It usually means that she has to push again to help the baby finally go out into this world.

But not all dads understand this process. For example, seeing a similar thing in the delivery room with his wife, one father said, "There it is! There it is!.... Nope, you pulled it back in!"

19 "I Should Sing A Song!"

Via: imgur

When a woman is in labor, the father experiences enormous stress. After all, he doesn't know what to do and how to behave, even if he took a course about what's going on in the delivery room.

Taking birthing classes is great until you realize the theory of it all is very different from reality.

For this reason, some dads begin doing weird things in the delivery room. For instance, one mom recalls that when she said, "[It's ] like a ring of fire," her significant other thought of nothing else to do but to sing the song "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash. I'm not sure if this was exactly what the mom needed to alleviate her pain.

18 "She Needs To Stretch How Much More?"

Via: youtube

For the baby to be born, a woman's "area" has to stretch quite a lot. For some dads, it's surprising to see how much it stretches and they even begin to worry whether it will ever get back to how it was before.

For example, one dad shared, "No one really prepared me for just how large my wife [would] stretch open[...] I'd heard about women tearing, and that made sense to me honestly, because how could the baby come out and everything remains intact?"

And now this dad has to take a moment and imagine how his wife feels about it...

17 "I Want to Finish a Chapter"

Via: youtube

While some dads are flipping out in the delivery room and do their best to help their significant other to deliver a baby, others remain calm and find other things to do, such as read a book.

One mom recalls her experience in the delivery room, "With my fourth baby, I was in heavy duty contractions, nearing birth, and my husband was reading a book and said, 'I'm almost done with the chapter. Can you wait one more minute?'"

Yeah, sure, honey. Go ahead and read your book. Both I and the baby will wait for you to finish. No problemo.

16 "I Should Keep Her Informed"

Via: recapguide

Sometimes, when there is a problem with natural delivery, a woman might require an emergency C-section to keep both herself and her baby safe. Needless to say, it can be an even bigger stress for everyone involved in the process. For this reason, the mom needs some extra support from her husband.

One mom shares her experience of emergency C-section, saying how her husband behaved, "I asked him to talk to me while I was getting a C-section (to distract me from that fact). The first thing he says to me is, 'Okay, they just [opened you].'"

Evidently, he found nothing else to do but to keep her informed about the process and just to tell her what was happening at the moment.

15 "My Wife Turned Into A Navy Seal!"

Via: Parents Magazine

Even a woman, who normally never yells at her hubby, is likely to become more emotional during childbirth. After all, she's going through a huge ordeal, which alters the way she thinks and makes her react to everything around differently. Some men learn this fact the hard way.

For example, one dad shared, "My wife isn't a yeller. She rarely uses [bad] words and doesn't like to draw attention to herself. But during labor, it's like she became someone else. I heard more expletives that day than any day I've spent in the Navy. I'd be lying if I said I'm not worried about the next time."

14 "What's That Smell?"

Via: WBUR

Few people seem to think about it, but it's actually rather important to warn a dad, who wants to be in a delivery room with his significant other, that he should be ready for a weird smell. Then, he can avoid some of the inappropriate questions and embarrassments.

"I told my wife a few months after our son's birth that the delivery room smelled kind of funky during labor," one dad recalls. "She seemed to take offense to this, as though I was blaming her!"

If only he knew that childbirth could indeed smell funky and realized that he shouldn't have told his wife about it.

13 "I Wasn't Ready For This!"

Via: KALB

Few dads come actually prepared to the delivery room for a simple reason: They don't come to delivery rooms with their significant others every day and they never know what's going to happen there.

Nothing describes it better than the way this dad recalled his experience, "I guess I never thought about what I would really be doing during delivery. I mean, I'd never done it before. I figured I'd be the dutiful husband and rub her back and let her claw her nails into me if she needed to. I pictured it with her flipping out and me being the calm voice in the room.

That's not really how it went down. She was in pain, and I was in pain for her. When she held her breath, I probably should've been reminding her to breathe, but I kept holding my breath, too. When she panted, I noticed myself panting lightly alongside her. When she threw up… ok, no, I didn't throw up, but you get my drift."

12 "She Must Be So Glad She Didn't Use Anything"

Via: hearstapps

While some women can't stand the very thought of being in pain during childbirth and want to be given epidurals as soon as they go into labor, other future moms decide to have a more natural childbirth and refuse from taking any pain relief.

They want to experience everything as it is, but the trouble is many of them regret their decision halfway through delivery.

But their significant other, who accompanies them in the delivery room, probably thinks that if a woman wanted an epidural-free delivery, then she should be happy to have it. One of these fathers said, "Aren't you glad you didn't use [any medications]?"

And it wouldn't be so much worse if he said it in the middle of a painful contraction...

11 "Gosh, It's Taking So Long!"

Via: VideoBlocks

Here is an unpleasant surprise for all dads: labor may take a long time. And I mean a really long time. It can last for anything from a few hours to a whole day and more. So be prepared for it and wear something comfy and especially avoid telling your significant other something such as,"If I knew this was going to take so long I would have worn more comfortable shoes," or worse, complaining to your wife (who, let me remind you, is actually in labor at the moment) that you are tired from standing for such a long time.

Believe it or not, at least two dads actually said these things...

10 "Should I Take Photos?"

Via: glamour

Who wants to be the insensitive dad who browses social media and shares photos, while his significant other is giving birth to his child? Pretty much no one wants it, so some dads even avoid taking any gadgets with them to a delivery room. But in certain cases, they end up being scolded by their wives for it.

One dad recalls that he didn't take photos during the birth of his baby and his wife wasn't happy about it afterwards, "It's something that my wife gives me a hard time about but it's also something that we didn't talk about beforehand. Plus, I was such a nervous wreck, I totally forgot about that 'first [picture]' dads are supposed to take."

Childbirth does cause a lot of stress, so I guess this dad can be forgiven.

9 "Am I The Only One Grossed Out Here?"

dailymail.co.uk

Childbirth is really hard not only on the mother but also on the father of the baby. After all, he finds himself in a room full of people, who know exactly what they're doing, while he doesn't have a clue about anything he sees. Besides, all doctors, nurses, and doulas have seen childbirth a lot of times and have learned to be comfortable with it. For the dad, all these things are new and... kind of gross.

It all often makes dads think that they're the only person there, who finds childbirth less-than-pleasant.

So here's a piece of advice for dads: yes, some things will look gross there, but you better be quiet about it. There's absolutely no need to share this kind of thoughts with your significant other.

8 "No Way It Hurts So Much..."

Via: Itchy Scalp Guide

For some fathers, it's hard to understand how much it hurts to be in labor. One mom recalls her labor experience with her significant other present in the delivery room. "After 11 hours of labor and the epidural not working," she says"My husband looked at me and said, 'Honey, it can't hurt that bad!' I looked at him and replied, 'Come let me twist [you down there].' He backed far, far away."

Oh, I bet he did. But, luckily, not all dads are so insensitive. "Ever since I heard my wife give birth, all future pain is related to pregnancy, on an audible scale," another man remembers on Cosmopolitan. "I listen to my wife's groans of pain and know exactly how much it hurts her by the pitch, volume, and octave. After all, I have over 50 hours of experience after three births. I now know that my wife has a much higher pain tolerance than me. Signing up to do that three times? No thanks!"

7 "It's Like An Iceberg!"

Via: Little Me London

You know how they say that icebergs show only a small part on the water surface while having a much bigger block of ice underneath it? One dad nicely compared it to the way a baby's head is showing during delivery.

"Our midwife asked if I wanted to catch the baby," this dad recalls, "And I couldn't have been more excited and nervous — 'What if I drop him?!' I thought. I shook off the fear, gloved up, and assumed my best (and first) baby­catching stance. Once he started to crown, I remember thinking, 'That doesn't look so bad.' Then, my wife pushed again and I realized that what I thought was crowning was just the tip of the tip of the iceberg — total cannonball in a drinking straw situation.

'OHMYGODHOW?!?!' I thought. 'THERESNO[...]WAY.' But come he did, as perfectly as anyone could wish for."

6 "Do You Want Me To Snip It?"

Via: durangoherald

A dad isn't usually present in the delivery room for the sole reason of supporting his significant other through one of the most challenging moments of her life. He's also there to officially become a father and cut the umbilical cord of his little one, welcoming the baby into this world. But for some dads this task (that seems to be so easy compared to the actual childbirth) becomes a challenge, too.

"I cut the umbilical cord and it was definitely one of the weirdest things," a dad shares on Tonic. "It was nerve-wracking [...] It's a part of a human. I got really nervous... the doctor held my hand."

But, to be honest, it's easy to understand why it makes dads so nervous. After all, cutting the umbilical cord isn't something they do every single day, right?

5 "No, I'm Not Gonna Cry..."

Emotions in the delivery room can become heightened, not only due to all the stress but also due to the very event happening there. I mean, it's the birth of a brand new human being! Isn't it exciting?

For this reason, a lot of dads can't hold back their tears in a delivery room, no matter how hard they try. "I wasn't at all prepared for the kind of emotions that were going to come over me the moment I became a Dad," one of them recalls. "I am not the crying type. No one had passed, and here I was sobbing over top the most beautiful little girl anyone had ever laid eyes on. She was ours! We got to keep her! All I could think was wow, what just happened?"

4 "My Baby Looks Like A Booger"

Via: thetimes

Why don't people warn dads-to-be that their baby is going to look very weird right after they're born? Since few men actually know it and think that newborns look similar to those they saw in TV shows and movies, they become bewildered at their baby resembling a booger and having bluish skin. Some of them even think that it means that something is wrong with their little one.

But, in fact, everything's fine. A newborn baby is supposed to have bluish skin at first and they certainly don't look as cute as the babies we're used to seeing in movies. They look... well, "like a booger," as one dad said.

3 "It's Missing Parts!"

via:Dissolve

Not all future parents decide to learn the baby's gender in advance, wanting to have a surprise in a delivery room. But, sometimes, even those who thought they knew the gender get this surprise.

For example, one couple thought that they were going to have a baby boy, but when the baby was born, the father exclaimed, "It's missing parts!" He must have been confused to see that his son doesn't have a very important male organ, but he failed to realize that his significant other gave birth to a baby girl instead.

We can only imagine how relieved he was to learn that everything was, in fact, totally fine with his baby.

2 "It's Not As Beautiful As They Say It Is"

Via: scrubs.wiki

Most of us have seen childbirth in a movie at least once or twice. It usually looks rather easy there - the labor ends quickly and the baby looks cute from the first minute. But in reality, everything isn't as beautiful.

In real life, labor takes hours and hours. Both mom and dad get exhausted. And the baby looks kinda gross at first, even though you still love them from the first moment you see them.

"Everything you're told—you know, You give birth, they put the child right on the mother's chest, and everything's beautiful—that's not always how it is," a dad shares his experience on Tonic.

"He comes out, and it's like nothing you've ever seen before. He's this screaming little blue nugget. It's pretty wild, but it's great."

That's right - childbirth isn't beautiful, but it's still awesome.

1 "I Should Say Something Funny"

Via: Fatherhood.gov

Like some of the other things dads do in a delivery room, joking can be explained by all the stress, but it doesn't make it more appropriate.

For instance, some dads like to make a joke about "giving an extra stitch or two in there" after delivery. Ugh...

One mom shared a funny story about it. After her baby was born, her significant other said, "Is this when we joke about the extra stitch?" The doc immediately answered to it, "Yes, but no one ever laughs."

Sure, why would people laugh at a silly joke made solely because of all the stress the dad has just endured?

References: Pop Sugar, Babygaga, Babble, Cafe Mom, Cosmopolitan, Tonic

More in Moments