Isn’t there a saying that says shopping is better than actual therapy? Anyone with kids knows that shopping changes drastically after having kids. It’s sure no retail therapy taking a bunch of hyperactive kiddos to the mall while making sure they don’t break anything or get lost. Although shopping has the power to be a safe escape for moms, it usually turns out to be more chaotic than anything else once kids tag along.
These mothers all share their horror stories of taking their kids shopping. From kids who got up to no good or got themselves lost, to those who got destructive or managed to unassumingly shoplift something on their way out, you’ll never believe the antics these children have gotten up to while shopping. It’s enough to make any of these mothers never want to leave the house with their kids in tow.
Whether you need to run out for groceries or have a specific errand to tackle, you can’t avoid not bringing your kids along with you every now and then when you go shopping. So, if you’re a parent, you’re bound to have one or two of your own hilarious times you went out shopping with the kids and things didn’t go as planned. Make sure to share your crazy story in the comments, and let us know which of these anonymous stories surprised you the most!
20 Who Let The Dogs Out?
Brittany* says her kid’s antics in a pet store cost them the opportunity to adopt a pet of their own!
“We were at a pet store one day when my 6-year old thought it would be fun to let all of the dogs out of their cages. In a matter of seconds, 12 dogs were set free in a tiny pet store full of small kids who started screaming (mine included).
We stayed until the angry employees had finally got all the dogs back in their kennels. When we asked if they could help us adopt a hamster, they told us we didn’t seem like the right family to have a pet. I still can’t believe it.”
19 Believe Me, It’s My Kid
Rowena* says her son once made a store employee believe that she wasn’t his actual mother. Gulp!
“My son had a lot of behavioral issues when he was young. One of the most common things he’d do is tell us that he didn’t love us or we weren’t his family.
One time when he was 6, he was having a bad meltdown at a store (I think because I said no to getting ice cream after). He was so loud and destructive, a shop employee came over to ask what was going on. That’s when he said I wasn’t his mom!
The employee actually called the police, and I had to get my husband to drive down with our son’s birth certificate to prove I was actually his mom.”
18 Little Hands Can Be Quick
Miriam* tells the tale of how her toddler managed to shoplift a purse full of stuff without her realizing.
“One time I was at the store with my 2-year old. She was riding in the front of the car where my purse was. What I didn’t know was she was stuffing things she wanted but I wouldn’t buy for her (candy, some small toys, chips), and putting them in my bag.
We made it through the cash register and almost out the door when the security alarms went off. I finally realized what would happen, but the security guard actually thought I was stealing and just trying to blame it on my daughter. I only calmed him down when I offered to pay for everything I ‘stole.’”
17 What Goes Down Must Come Up
Nancy* recalls the time her daughter was so sick that she wasn’t able to keep anything down while they were picking things up at the store!
“My 7-year old was complaining she wasn’t feeling good, so I picked her up from school early. When we were at the pharmacy picking her up some medication, she projectile vomited in the middle of the aisle and onto the shelves!
As we were making our way out (after the employees kindly let us continue to check-out), she puked again- this time on an elderly customer. Everyone was super nice and courteous, but I still get red thinking about it.”
16 This Is No Candy Factory
It sounds like Heather* must have been mortified when her sons ate bags of junk food that they hadn’t yet paid for.
“My three sons were all under 6 when we were shopping in Wal-Mart. My two eldest were taking their sweet time moving their butts, so I left them in one aisle while I went to the other.
Wrong move. When I came back, they had started eating bags of candy and ships straight off the shelf. It was so embarrassing bringing the half-eaten bags up tot eh counter to pay and explaining what happened.”
15 Blame The Terrible Twos
Karen* blames skipping her toddler’s mid-afternoon nap as the reason she had such a destructive tantrum that she actually broke a store’s display! Karen had to write a hefty cheque in order to make up for the damages.
“I knew I should have made a trip back home to let my 4-year old nap. She was really grumpy when I took her and her 2-year old sister to a furniture store to pick out lamps.
She had such a bad tantrum that she broke two different displays… I had to pay over $300 in damages, or else the manager threatened to sue.”
14 Desperate Times, Desperate Measures
Annie* did the unthinkable when she needed to change her newborn but didn’t have any good options for where to do it.
“I was at a really high-end department store with my 3-month old when I realized he needed a diaper change. I knew they didn’t have any public bathrooms there (you needed to buy something), and I didn’t have time to run somewhere else, so I started changing his diaper in the middle of the aisle.
By the time I was done, there was poop and pee everywhere. His diaper was so bad, I didn’t want to throw it in my diaper bag to toss later. So, I left it in the corner of the aisle and quickly got the heck out of there. I never got caught, though!”
13 A Soup-y Situation
Talia* admits that she was so embarrassed by the ruckus her kids had caused at the grocery store, she didn’t even check out with her items.
“My twins were playing tag once in the grocery store. I was so happy that something was keeping them occupied I didn’t think to tell them to cut it out.
The next thing I knew, there was a loud thud and my kids started screaming. A canned soup display had fallen over, and now there was cream of mushroom spread all over the floor. I left my shopping cart there, took my kids by the hand, and ran out of there before anyone could see us.”
12 Should’ve Kept To Diapers
Miranda* was horrified when her toddler had a potty training incident right in the middle of Ikea!
“I was potty training my 2-year old at the same time we had to take a trip to Ikea. The one thing we had to work on was him telling us when he needed to go potty- sometimes he’d just try to do it himself. This was one of those times.
I took my eyes off of him for 30 seconds and turned around to find him aiming at an assortment of pillows. I was so mortified, I took our son outside to the car while my husband paid for the stained pillows.”
11 Definitely Too Young For Makeup
Shelly* says her daughter went to great lengths to try and secure some makeup -- so much so, she almost got the police involved.
“I let my daughter carry a purse starting when she was 9. One day we were at the cosmetics counter of a department store. When we went to leave the store, the door alarms went off. They checked my purse and shopping bags but couldn’t find what made them go off.
Finally, we checked my daughter’s purse- she’d stolen over $200 worth of makeup, simply because I told her she’s too young to borrow my own. I was so lucky they didn’t press charges or make me pay for all the things she’d taken.”
10 That’s Not Your Stroller, Sweetie
Jana* recalls the hilarious time when her toddler ended up in the wrong stroller. While this story has a happy ending, we don’t want to think of all the ways it could have ended up wrong.
“I was still pushing my daughter in a stroller when she was 3. Once we were at a department store shopping for a wedding gift. It was boring, so I guess she just wandered off out of the stroller.
Evidently, she got into another stroller that looked like ours, and the woman left with her our child instead of her own. She didn’t realize until she was about to put our daughter in her kid’s car seat!”
9 That Was A Luxurious Lamp
Kirsten* says that a bad trip to the furniture store cost her and her family a heck of a lot.
“When we moved houses a few years ago, we took our kids to a furniture store to help us pick things out. While we were looking at couches, our 5-year old became curious about a lamp that had shelves on it. When she tried climbing on top of it, it fell over and shattered into pieces.
My husband and I were so embarrassed; we offered to pay for the lamp without looking at the price. The thing cost $700!?! How can a lamp cost that much?? We had to say goodbye to a fancy sofa unit, and pick one up on Craigslist instead.”
8 A Typical Trip To The Toy Store
Rosie* says she once lost her son in a toy store for over an hour!
“I used to take my kids to the toy store and let them play and explore for hours when they were kids. One day, my 4-year old son didn’t want to leave in particular. I told him he had 5 minutes and then we were going.
When I turned back around after the time was up, I couldn’t find him anywhere. We then had to look for him for over an hour, with the help of store staff and the security team. I thought someone abducted him until we found him passed out and sleeping in a pile of massive stuffed bears."
7 All Moms Can Relate To This
Jordanna* admits she got a bit desperate when her toddler needed her diaper changed and she didn’t have any fresh diapers on hand. She just grabbed diapers off the shelf- something most mamas would probably do in her situation.
“My toddler had explosive diarrhea while we were out shopping one day. I didn’t have any fresh diapers on me, so I had to take diapers off the shelf without paying and go to the family washroom.
The employee gave me such a weird look when I went to the checkout later on. Hey, sometimes moms have to do desperate things!”
6 The Joys Of Breastfeeding
Taylor* had an exceptionally difficult time adjusting her toddler to not breastfeed.
“I had just weaned my toddler off breastfeeding when my second was born, but my eldest still kept insisting for ‘boob milk’ when he saw me feeding his brother. One day, when we were out shopping, I started feeding the baby in the change room.
Of course, the toddler demanded he have a turn. When I said I had to feed the baby first and he couldn’t have any right now, he started screaming ‘boobie’ at the top of his lungs. I had three employees ask me if I was all right or if they could call someone for me.”
5 This Sure Ain’t Sephora
Madison* recalls the time her daughters got their hands dirty- literally- when they opened packages of makeup before they bought them.
“I told my girls they could stay in the clothing and beauty section at Target while I ran around and did some quick groceries. Big mistake!
When I came back to get them, they had open at least a dozen packages of makeup and begun playing with them (and had gotten it on some store clothing). An employee quickly spotted us and told me I’d have to pay for everything since we’d damaged it. Smh.”
4 The Master Of Hide N’ Seek
Julie* says her kids are too good at hide and seek for their own good!
“My daughters tried to keep themselves busy by playing hide and seek while we were doing groceries once. I didn’t mind them running around the whole store, so they came up with some pretty creative hiding spots.
One time, my eldest wasn’t able to find her younger sister. After we attempted to look together, I had to have the store page her over the intercom. It wasn’t until employees began looking in the back that they found her with the stock boxes… she’d even fallen asleep it’d taken so long!”
3 Anything But Moana, Please!
It sounds like Caroline* can’t stand her daughter’s obsession with Moana!
“I gave my daughter my phone to play with while I was shopping for a dress for a wedding in a few weeks. I’d been watching Moana non-stop with her recently, and only asked she didn’t do anything Moana-related if it involved sound on the phone.
But, since she’s a toddler, she of course ignored my request and began playing Moana on shuffle on the loudest setting. I lost my cool immediately and yelled for her to stop. Everyone in the store turned to look at me like I was crazy. I was so embarrassed I couldn’t shop anymore.”
2 That’s One Way To Lose Baby Teeth
Margaret* says that she was horrified while shopping when one of her sons knocked the other one’s teeth out.
“My twin sons were 11 and in a particularly aggressive phase. We were at a nursery one afternoon and they were roughhousing in the back while I picked out plants. Suddenly I heard one of them yell for me.
When I found them, the younger twin was missing a tooth and had blood everywhere. His brother accidentally knocked out his two front teeth. We spent the rest of the day in emergency.”
1 The Kid Loves Root Beer
Corey* should have thought twice before allowing her 7-year old to pick out whatever drink he wanted.
“I was in a hurry to finish the groceries because my newborn was due to wake up from her nap. To keep my 7-year old occupied, I said he could pick out a drink, enjoy it and sit at the front of the store on a bench while I finished up.
He agreed, and I left before seeing what drink he chose (I would pay for it at the end when I came back to get him before checkout).
Well, I was surprised to find he’d almost finished an entire liter of Root Beer. When I asked him why he chose an entire thing of pop, he responded ‘because you said I could have whatever I wanted.’ He did have a point."