Despite what most people may think, it’s not the father who is the king of the castle. It’s actually the mom. Moms have certain ways they like to run their household and how the kids should be cared for, and it’s the dad’s job to just go along with it and make sure things go the way mom wants it. However, when moms have to go off and do their own thing, and the kids are left with dad, dads will sometimes decide to veer off from that plan. Whether it involves dressing their baby up as a tough biker with a goatee and a tattoo, creating a DIY human swing set for their baby to swing on, or simply having the kids sit on a mattress while dad pulls them with an ATV, sometimes dads can prove that they have no business looking after the kids. So the next time you need to go out and have to leave the kids alone with dad, you better think twice about it or you may just end up on a list like this one. So without further ado, here are 20 reasons why kids can’t be left alone with their dads.
20 Kiwi Baby
No, this is not a giant kiwi. This is actually what happens when dad is left alone with the kid. If you didn’t realize it at first, it’s an honest mistake. That baby’s head actually does look like a kiwi. And if you first saw this and wanted to eat that giant kiwi, I apologize. But look on the bright side, at least both of those kiwis were raised organically. Maybe dads should be kept away from the kids and the fruit altogether.
19 Sons of Anarchy
Normally, when you come back and see your kid has magic marker drawn all over their face, you would think that they did it themselves. Unfortunately, for this next case, you would be very wrong. That’s because it’s the dad who is the main culprit here. Judging by that goatee and that sweet tattoo, I think this baby was definitely born to be wild. Let’s just hope that when mom gets home, she’ll be able to get that marker off this kid’s face.
18 DIY Swing
Leave it to dad to construct his own way to watch his kid swing while mom is away. While I must admit that this is pretty darn clever, it looks pretty dangerous. Can you just imagine what would happen to this kid if something went wrong with that rope? I’m getting nervous from just thinking about it. Also, why couldn’t this dad just move his chair right next to the swing set? That way he could just push his kid himself.
17 Dad Time
You see? This is exactly what happens when moms tell dad to look after the kids. And let’s be honest, did you really expect anything less from a dad than him sitting in an indoor pool, playing video games, while the kids wait on him hand and foot? Of course not. But it’s like the old dad motto goes, just don’t let mom find out about this. Thankfully, no one took a picture of this so there’s no evidence… oh wait!
16 Boss Baby.
No, this is not what you’re thinking. This is not a very youthful looking dad in a sharp suit. Wait… is that not what you thought it was? It was just me then? Oh well. Anyway, this is actually a baby that dad decided to put in a suit while he was left with the kid because why not? Isn’t that the best part about having a baby? Being able to dress it up in adult clothes? I must be the only one.
15 Stacking Skills.
Wow! I don’t know which is more impressive – the fact that this dad was able to stack this many Cheerios on his kid’s face or that this kid was able to sleep through all of this and not move a single muscle. And there are 21 cheerios are stacked on this baby’s face. And yes, I absolutely did count all of them. I figured that if this dad was going to take the time and effort to stack these on their kid’s face, the least I could do would be to report the actual number.
14 Grocery Shopping.
Hold on. Where is the kid in this picture? I don’t see them. Why would this dad be pushing around a shopping cart without his baby? Could it be that the kid is actually camouflaged under all of those groceries? No, it can’t be. What dad would pile groceries all around their kid like that? Oh yeah, that’s right. Dads would do this. I totally forgot that dads can’t be trusted when they take their kids to go grocery shopping.
13 Smush Face
Can somebody please explain to me what is going on in this picture. Is that what dads do when they are left alone with the kids? Do they scrunch and smush their baby’s face for their own enjoyment? Don’t get me wrong here, I think that this is hysterical and I’m probably laughing way more than I should be, but I just don’t get it. Also, does this dad have three hands? Because I’d like to know who is taking this picture.
There’s nothing like a father and his kid enjoying some quality time together and bonding through playtime. Well… not everything goes as planned. Unfortunately for this next dad, he seemed to be into playing more than his kid was. I mean, can you really blame him though? Those look like some really fun and entertaining toys. Maybe the dad called dibs on the toys first and the kid has to wait their turn? I honestly don’t know. Remember, sharing is caring.
11 Baby Lecter
There you have it folks. This is exactly what happens when dad is left alone with the kid. When mom is away, dad will dress up the little tyke to look like the most infamous doctor, Dr. Lecter. For those of you who haven’t seen The Silence of The Lambs, well I really don’t want to spoil it for you so go check it out yourselves. Let’s just say that this image will give you nightmares. Way to go dad!
Get ready to have Gwen Stefani’s song stuck in your head because this next picture is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. The look on this kid’s face pretty much says it all. They are clearly not happy about having a banana peel casually placed on top of their head by their dad. And then, to make matters worse, now they have to sit there for a picture so that this can live on in the internet in infamy. Could someone please take that off their head.
9 Riding Dirty
They see me rollin’, they hatin’… I don’t know what’s with all of these song lyrics for the past two posts, but they definitely seem to fit. What this next dad decided to do, by attaching that wagon to the back of his pick-up truck, looks like things could go very wrong, very quickly. Do those wagons even come with seatbelts? What am I even asking? Of course they don’t. It’s a wagon! I really hope that this dad wasn’t planning on going very far with this.
8 Laser Tag
Listen up moms. The next time you decide to let dad take care of the kids alone, know that this is what they do. They strap the little tyke in and they go play laser tag. I know exactly what you’re thinking. This is a great idea! The baby makes a great human shield for their front. That way, the baby will absorb all of the front hits. If only this guy had two kids. That way, this guy would be protected from both the front and back.
7 Garage Sale
There’s nothing quite like cleaning out the house and getting rid of everything you no longer use or want anymore. And if you can even make a couple bucks on your old junk, why that makes things even sweeter. So leave it to dad to organize a garage sale when he’s left alone with the kid. But instead of charging people for the stuff, he’s giving it away. And instead of it being old stuff they no longer use, it’s the baby. Sounds about right.
6 Old Man
This next picture is a two-for-one. Allow me to explain. This just goes to show you why 1) you should never let dad be left alone with the kid and 2) why you should never let dad get the kid ready for school. Because this is what you will end up having to deal with. You really have to respect dad’s commitment to the look by only shaving the top of this kid’s head. Thankfully, the hair is short and it should grow back pretty quickly.
I don’t just surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows (I browse). Is it just me or do drawn-on eyebrows on babies make everything better? I guess it’s just me. Well, at least this next dad agrees too because when mom left him and the baby alone, he decided that there was just something missing about his baby’s face and decided to take matters into his own hands. I can’t tell if this baby is shocked, surprised, excited, scared or all of the above.
This next dad has officially reached peak dad. In case anybody was wondering, this next baby is a “baby.” And in case anybody was wondering why this baby has a label on their head that says “baby”, well that’s what happens when dad is left alone with the kid and a label maker. Normally, if you have a label maker, you tend to label items around the house and not label human beings. Maybe mom should have left the baby in charge of dad.
What better way to give mom a heart attack then to let your kid give themselves a haircut? And who’s the mastermind behind this horrible plan? You guessed it! It’s dad. What could this dad have possibly been thinking? How could he ever think that this would be a good idea? Come on people, I need answers! If you are going to let your kid cut their own hair, at least make them finish the job. This haircut looks like a mess.
This next picture just goes to show us what we have suspected all along. When you leave dad to look after the kid, he is going to end up asleep in the crib. Judging by this picture, you would think that this dad was given precise instructions to take a nap in the baby’s crib with them because this dad is looking like he gets paid to sleep. But how hard is it to just stay awake for a few minutes?
1 Darth Vader
Obi Wan never told this baby what happened to his father. He is his father! I don’t know about you, but I sense a great disturbance in this baby’s diaper. I could probably go on and on with Star Wars and baby puns. Nevertheless, this is still pretty awesome. That baby looks like it is handling the mantle of Dark Lord of the Sith pretty well. Let’s just hope that when mom gets back home, she’ll be able to turn this little guy back to the light side.