Almost all moms are stay-at-home moms for at least a few weeks after the baby is born. No matter how short the time at home is before going back to work, or if the plan isn't to go back to work any time soon, all moms can agree that the stay-at-home mom life can be full of fears. It can be especially challenging when mom isn't sure what to expect.
Life changes dramatically once you have a baby. Suddenly, you go from independent career woman to basically a hot mess who doesn’t sleep and has this little being to constantly look after. It is no wonder so many of us moms struggle with what being a stay at home mom is truly like! It basically an instinct, we go from one life to an entirely different one. It is really remarkable if you think about it.
The thing is, despite all those fears, there is really nothing to worry about once you become a stay at home mom. Sure, it is not without its struggles, and maybe a few tears, but you have the most important job to do, take care of your newborn baby. Read on for some common fears of being a stay at home mom, and why, really, you shouldn’t worry at all.
20 Being All Alone With The Baby
You have been with your baby for nine long months. Okay, yes, your baby was in the womb during that time, but you have already had some alone time together! All jokes aside, a huge fear of new stay at home moms is being alone with the baby, with literally no one else around to help.
The thing is, when you get home with your newborn baby, there will likely be a flurry of people wanting to come and visit. Then they all leave, and you are left alone. You may actually enjoy that alone time between you and your little one- you will actually get to bond!
19 Losing Who You Are
One real fear of becoming a stay at home mom is becoming just that- a stay at home mom, and really nothing else. Suddenly, mom to so-and-so is your title. Forget what you did as a career or what you went to college for and obtained a degree in. Now you are a mom. That does happen. But fear not, because if you keep up to date in your field or keep up hobbies and education, you can remain the woman you are, and always were, and that includes being a mama to your little one, so be proud of that, too!
18 Working ‘Round The Clock
Pregnancy may have prepared you a bit for not sleeping, but once your newborn baby is born, you really realize what true exhaustion is! Suddenly, you went from being your own person, working or doing your own thing, and now you are at a tiny person’s beckon call 24/7. It is not easy. You are working around the clock. And there is no overtime! This is a fear that is a bit true, sad to say. How can you make it better? It is simple. Ask for help. Get grandma to visit. Take a break when your husband gets home. Every worker needs a break!
17 Not Living Up To What You See On Facebook
If you are in fear of being a stay at home mom that does not do nearly the things your Facebook friends do, there is a simple solution- turn off your computer! You will find that with a newborn baby, you are pretty busy. Sure, you want to share on social media, but always remember that even you are sharing the good stuff.
We are guessing you are not posting a photo of yourself at 2am with spit-up all over your non-makeup face that looks like you haven’t slept since last year. Do not fear, you are doing just as good a job as your social media pals, if not a better job.
16 What If I’m Not Good At It?
We have all been here! You rush to the hospital in labor, have your baby, and then, wait, they let you take that baby home?! Now you have another human life to care for?! It seems out of this world, right, if you really think about it! All stay at home moms, and really moms and dads, in general, get the feeling they will not be good enough. Well, this is a valid fear.
We want to be the best mom we can possibly be. And you know what? You will. Even if you make some mistakes, that is a part of life, and only makes you a better mom in the end.
15 Fear Of Missing Out
Uh oh, FOMO alert! This is true fear of probably just about every stay at home mom out there. If they say they never even have a teeny bit of FOMO, they are lying. The fear of missing out is real. As a stay at home mom, you are basically stuck at home with your newborn until you are healed and your baby is old enough to get out and about. That can be a few days or a few weeks.
You will miss your old life, that happens. Keep in touch with people. Invite friends and family over. Try your best to stay in the loop and you will find out there is really nothing worth missing out on!
14 Feelings Of Isolation
As a stay at home mom, a big fear is the feeling of isolation. This is a very valid fear because you will be isolated for the most part. Your days will be spent with your newborn baby and sometimes never anyone else unless you have some visitors! It can be rough to get through. It can be a tough adjustment. But it is temporary, and that is what you need to remember. Soon enough your newborn baby will be ready to leave the house on a regular basis. Just know that those feelings, if you get them, will pass.
13 Don’t Like The Housewife Role
In this day and age, men and women contribute equally to the household (or at least, they should!). But when you are a stay at home mom, you might be looked at as a housewife. You might start to be expected, and expect yourself, to not only care for the baby but also the house.
Cleaning, cooking, and putting a smile on your face. Right. That is a fear of some newly stay-at-home moms, they do not want to be put in a 1950’s housewife role. Okay, no need to worry. Just don’t buy an old-fashioned apron! Do what you can, and let the rest be. It will all work out.
12 Will It Be Boring?
Another fear of stay at home moms is that life with a newborn might get a bit boring. After all, there is not much that newborn babies do aside from eat, sleep, and poop. You may even find you have a lot of downtime with a newborn. Except you might also be way too exhausted to do anything! You really should not worry about getting bored, and if you do, find something to do.
Read that book you have been waiting to start. Watch a movie that you want to see. Just relax. Take up a hobby. Take pics of your baby! Trust us, this time will fly by and you will stop knowing what the word bored even means!!
11 Resenting That Dad Gets To Leave The House
Yep, this is a big one. This is real life fear. Many women, especially those who were career-minded before baby, start to resent dear old dad. All he is trying to do is support his family. But for some reason that pisses you off with jealous envy. You cannot just get up and leave like that. He can. So how can you balance it out? The second he gets home, go do something by yourself, even if it is just walking aimlessly around Target! You deserve a break as much as he deserves some bonding time with his baby.
10 Wondering If Your Career Was A Waste
For some stay at home moms, one of the biggest fears they have, when they decide to stay home with their babies, is rethinking their entire life path up to this point. They start to question whether they should have ever gone to college at all, or tried to have a career. They believe they cannot have both. Some think they will never go back to work.
Remember, we are the moms we are because of where we came from and what we have achieved. No about of schooling is a waste! Plus, you never know what the future may hold.
9 Only Having Mom Friends (Or No Friends At All)
This is a tough one. So many moms out there struggle with feelings of loneliness and isolation. They start to fear that they will never have real friends again. Some stay at home moms end up losing friends as a result of them having a baby.
People just lose touch. Stay at home moms everywhere can make attempts, as hard as it may be, to try to overcome this fear; this hurdle. Basically, put yourself out there. And if you embrace your mom friends, they may end up transitioning from simple mom friends to long-life friends. You just never know!
8 Household Shift In Power
Feelings of not good enough start to invade a stay at home mom’s head. She starts to fear that she is less than. That she is not the breadwinner. She is just a stay at home mom. Well, no need to worry, because guess what stay at home moms? The dads out there working think you have a more important job than they do!
Sure, they might make the money, but nothing compares to raising a child. Caring for baby is an important job, and you are just as much a member of that household as the dad who goes to work each and every day.
7 Is There A Choice?
A big fear of some stay at home moms is that they literally do not have a choice in the matter. Of course, we all want to be with our baby, especially when that baby is a newborn. But some of us really wish to have a piece of our old life back. Except, for some stay at home moms, that is simply not an option due to childcare and what not.
They feel there is no choice but for them to stay home. Fear not though, each individual situation is different. Once you are past the newborn stage, reevaluate where you stand. Ask for help. Things will work out the way you wish if you put some work into it.
6 Losing Confidence
When you are caring for a newborn for the first time, it is a work in progress, let’s face it! There is no instruction manual that comes with babies. You gotta take it one day at a time. Then you screw up. You can’t breastfeed. Baby won’t stop crying. Baby got sick. Suddenly, your confidence is out the window.
This is a fear and a very real one. But what you can do is ask for some help. Get grandma over to play or whoever is around. Give yourself a break. Believe it or not, just getting some much need sleep could help boost your confidence level!
5 Not Being Able To Keep Up With Demands
A fear of being a stay at home mom is not really being able to care for baby AND keep a clean house. Guess what? No one and we repeat NO ONE, expects you to have a spotless house while you are caring for your newborn baby! It can be tough to want to cook and clean and have everything the way it was pre-baby, so get some help. Hire a someone to clean or play with baby while you clean. Order food in. But there is no reason to stress because a messy house is one with memories!
4 A Community Connection
Many stay-at-home moms fear that because they are at home with the baby all the time, they will lose any connection they have to the outside community. Not so! In fact, sometimes having a baby brings you more into the community!
Look for mommy groups. Get involved with the library. Once baby is old enough for school, get involved in the school. You will find that suddenly what happens in your community is way more important to you now that you have a child. You just have to put yourself out there a bit to get that real connection.
3 Temporary Or Permanent
This is a real fear. For some stay at home moms, they know they will be staying home indefinitely, and they are okay with that. For others, they wish it to be temporary, even if they do enjoy it, but fear it becoming permanent.
On the flip side, some stay-at-home moms fear it will only be temporary and they want it to last longer. Do not worry too much about this. Plan ahead is your best option. Decide what is best for you and your little family, and you will find out that you will make it work no matter what.
2 Yoga Pants Forever
Yep, this fear is one that comes true! Haha. There sure is a mom uniform, and if you are in fear that you will fall into the stay at home mom outfit, well, you need to just embrace it! You will want to be comfortable after all! One day to not get so much into the yoga pants pattern is to dress up a little on nights out, or just when you feel like it. But if you feel like being comfortable and just wearing yoga pants, go for it. Even if it makes you cringe and smile all at the same time!
1 Being More Than A Mom
It is so easy for so many of us to fall into the mom zone. We identified only as moms and nothing else. One thing that seems to ease this fear of only be a mom and nothing else, is to stop identifying yourself as so-and-so’s mom. State your name first, and then you can say which baby or kid belongs to you. Talk about things besides babies (as hard as that can be sometimes!).
You are more than a mom. So much more! Break out of the mom mold and show everyone on the amazing woman you are, who always happens to be a mom.
References: Babycenter, Babycentre, The Stir, Cafemom