As soon as kiddos are old enough to drag a crayon across a sheet of paper or the wall, they find a way to express themselves creatively all the while causing their moms an incredible amount of embarrassment, confusion, concern, or distress. More than likely, it's a combination of all of these. For the lucky ones, this will happen within the confines of the home and no one will get to see the embarrassing picture the three-year-old draws in an attempt to paint a picture of the family.
Instead of being a picture of the family, it turns out to be a carefully crafted depiction of the monster only he can see, one who lives among the dirty dishes that continuously overflow from the sink and the piles of laundry that never get folded. If you are less fortunate, there will be an audience of family or friends to witness your little Picassos Crayola stylings or you might find yourself in the worst possible scenario where it happens at school.
On these occasions your child's classmates will probably not bat an eyelid at the drawing of mom and dad on the bed, captioned with the immortal phrase "Mommy and Daddy like to wrestle and make lots of screaming noises." The teacher, classroom assistant or any parent helpers present, however, will instantly know that you are a screamer and will share the picture with everyone they know. For them, much hilarity will ensue. For you, there will be plenty of blushing and the avoidance of eye contact for a few weeks.
If you find yourself in this situation, take heart you're not the only one who has been embarrassed by their mini-me's artwork.
19 Your Secret's Out
It is bad enough when your child produces some art that shows overshares something personal, but, at the same time shows you engaged in an activity which everyone does themselves. It is much worse when they draw something at school that appears to purposely depict you as a mommy with a slight problem who does nothing but sit around the house all day, drinking wine. Even worse, it's saying "Mom, I may only be six but I think you drink too much."
At least this picture shows mommy wearing a dress, smiling, and drinking from a glass. The mom in question hasn't degenerated to the point she sits around the house in dirty sweatpants, crying and drinking straight from the bottle. So there's that.
18 Mommy Works Hard For Her Money
This is what happens when you don't check your child's homework. The mom featured in this picture failed to do so and her daughter took this picture to school in response to the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
While proud to be a role model in her daughters' eyes, this mom felt compelled to put pen to paper and explain the drawing to her teacher. It turns out that she is not, nor has she ever been, in the profession that her daughter clearly depicted her in.
Instead, she works at a large national home hardware store and had recently told her daughter about a busy day. You see, it had been snowing and there was a rush on snow shovels. The store had run out, but while she was in the warehouse looking for another item, mom found a snow shovel. When she took it into the store, people were so desperate to get the last one, they all rushed to her while waving money in her face.
17 So Tell Me, How's Your Mommy?
I'm not sure which part of this drawing is the most disturbing, the fact that this kiddo knows the phrase about dancing on someone's grave, that they understand what it means, that they decided it would be a good subject for their drawing, that they made it their moms grave, or just the fact that both father and child look so damn happy about the situation.
Whatever the reason, if I were the mom in this family I'd be sleeping with one eye open for the foreseeable future.
16 At Least She's Not Drinking
On the bright side, the child who drew this apparently has a lot of love for their momma. With that big heart, front and center on her chest, of that there can be no doubt.
On the not so bright side, who wants the world to think they do nothing but sit around watching talk shows and catching up on celebrity gossip all day? Not only that, but look at moms hair. Hopefully, this is a reflection of kiddos lack of artistic ability rather than an accurate representation of what's on poor moms head.
15 That's, Um, Nice?
Everything you want in a drawing in order to convey the happy, relaxed, well-adjusted family life you believe you enjoy is here.
Smiling mom and dad, both of whom look in proportion and are drawn in a non-creepy way? Check.
Smiling, happy, looking child who appears to be having fun with his parents? Check.
Cute family pet? Check.
Outdoor setting to demonstrate we go out walking like healthy people and set our child a good example? Check.
Mysterious, skull face monster with a voodoo top hat that only your child can see and sees on a regular basis and apparently has some kind of evil intent? Um. Check.
14 Depends On The Details
Having your nine-year-old sister draw herself holding hands with an alien, captioning it "best friends" and using an arrow to point out which one is her is, potentially, more disturbing than it might first appear.
Is this an alien she has seen in the flesh, has made up in her imagination, or is hallucinating? Doesn't she have any other friends? You know, like actual human being friends. Why did she feel the need to point out which of the two of them is he? Is she under the impression you might be thinking she looks like the alien on the right? I have so many questions.
13 Planning Ahead
With the words "I will never get married" written across the top of the page, it would seem that the little artist behind this picture has their life sorted out already.
Not only have they decided to stay single, but our miniature illustrator has apparently been around long enough to know that marriage can be darn hard work sometimes. To avoid all of this work they plan to avoid getting hitched, so they can enjoy their adult life, doing exactly what they want, unencumbered by the burden of having to think about someone else.
12 Welcome To The Club
When I first saw this, I thought "Wow, that looks like Wolverine" and expected some tagline about daddy being a superhero, or something similar. Instead, I was met with the perfect description of the horror, sadness, and banality of the human existence.
"My dad is an employee. He likes drinking." Doesn't this sum up life in general for so many people? It makes no mention of the drinking being to excess, or problematic so we can safely assume,e daddy gets home and cracks open a bottle just to make it all a little more bearable.
11 Happy Home
There are several possible interpretations of this image. First up it could be entirely innocent, and it is a picture of mommy accidentally driving away before daddy had the change to get his case in the trunk and jump in beside her. Maybe she is even playing a joke on him and pretending to drive away without him.
However, mommy looks a little too joyful for this to be an accident so maybe she is happy because she is driving off into the sunset without him. Then again, it's difficult to tell which end of the car is which so it could be mom is manically driving towards dad in an attempt to turn him into a pavement pizza.
10 Somebody's Upset
Most of us have upset our children at some time or another. Usually, by imposing an unreasonable rule like not letting them climb up and jump off of the roof onto the trampoline, or telling them, they cannot tunnel under the fence from our house to their friend's house six blocks away.
This often results in us being branded unfair, mean, or, in this case, just plain old evil. This more wouldn't let a random group of people come and stay in the house, so she is obviously an evil lady who hates people that deserved to be eaten by, not just any old snake, but an EVIL snake.
9 Don't Tell The School Liason Officer
The loss of privacy at home is something that can hit hard when you have kids in the house, particularly when they are old enough to be nosey but not old enough to know when to mind their own business and give you some space.
If you get up to anything that you wouldn't want the world to know about and you have young kids in the house, make sure you do it behind locked doors. This is especially true if you have hobbies or interests that would fall on the wrong side of the legal line.
8 Good Job Mom
It is good to know that your efforts to look after yourself do not go unnoticed. The mom, whose miraculous transformation was documented for all of her daughters grade one class, must have been pretty horrified to have discovered how her daughter sees her in the mornings. Although, if that was our house, it would be an almost photographic quality picture, the likeness between it and myself in the morning is co uncanny.
Moving swiftly on. Mom, ready for her night out is looking pretty styling, and there is a definite attitude coming through. I'd be stoked if my daughter saw me like this.
7 Jolly Happy Christmas
Not only we're glad tidings rained down upon the recipient of this card but the lovely creator wished them a "Merry Happy Christmas" which is extra special AND the artist hoped that this lucky person would also receive an avalanche of gifts, presumably from Santa.
However, just in case the person for whom this card was created had too "Merry Happy" a Christmas there is the thoughtful little footnote, "and you are fat" to bring them back down to earth with a bump.
There is no indication as to whether or not the belly girth of the person involved is a problem for the sender, so we don't know if those hoped for gifts will include some Christmas candy or not.
If your child was asked to draw the people who live in your house, what would you expect to see? Most of us would assume to see a home with all of the family members who live there, alongside any other people with who you shared the house and maybe the family pets.
One or two of us might not be surprised to see an imaginary friend or a cuddly toy of which our child is particularly fond. I would expect the majority of parents to be at least surprised, if not at least a little disturbed if their child drew a house like this one, complete with ruffle-collared scary people, a red-headed woman without a face, some kind of floaty ghost-like thing and what can only be described as a giant sperm. I hope for this families sake it's not an accurate picture.
5 Does Mommy Have A Problem?
Take a moment to sit back quietly and think about your mom. What's the first word that comes to mind? Now think about your child, what is the first thing you think of? Finally, what would be the one thing you would like to think your child would think of when they think of you?
I bet none of the answers to those questions were "Fart."
The child that drew this little treasure would appear to have a mommy whose most memorable feature is her chronic flatulence, but at least mom seems happy enough about it.
4 We're Doomed I Say, Doomed
There is an ongoing debate over whether our personalities are decided by nature before we are even born or formed by the way in which we are nurtured. Personally, I believe it is a combination of the two. Our general outlook on life, the way we look at things, is an inherent part of who we are and is determined before we are born. The detail of our personalities is formed in response to our experiences in life.
With that in mind, I'm reasonably sure the artist, in this case, was born a pessimist of the highest order, for whom life has done little to prove his bleak worldview to be wrong. On the flip side, that's a creative way for the world to end so perhaps there's hope for the little fella after all.
3 Have A Nice Time In The Nether World
The now defunct website Gawker first published this picture with the following:
'When my little brother Joey was about six years old, he was sent to "timeout" to think about something he'd done wrong...My father recently unearthed the drawing it produced..."HI, HOW ARE YOU DOING IN HELL," young Joe, still dependent on capital letters, wrote to my parents..."LOVE JOEY." They can't remember if he left it for them or if they found it later on, but my dad allows that he wondered at the time if maybe he was dealing with Satan's spawn.'
2 It's Behind You
If only the mom and dad in this image knew what was lurking on the periphery of their family group. I don't think they would be looking quite so happy if they were.
Nothing says "You better call a priest, or whatever religious leader you would be most comfortable with, and get them round to your house right now," like your child including a dark, creepy figure in a drawing of the family.
What exactly is a "taking boy: anyway? Fingers crossed it's a misspelled "talking boy" and not a mysterious little fella who comes along and abducts people in their sleep.
1 Poor Daddy
Unfortunately for Amanda's dad, when she drew this picture, his little princess had not yet learned the arts of tact and diplomacy. Fair enough, if this is an accurate representation of dads haircut and color, that might make him a little less cuddly and appealing, but still, "I love mom better than you" is a brutal thing to say to your daddy.
Hopefully, our artiste learned how to spare other peoples feeling before her own kids began asking her "mommy, which one of us is your favorite?"
Reference: Google Images.