Many people think being a solo mom is just about the toughest position to be in. Married moms think single mothers are too busy, too lonely, and too short on money—what sounds good about that kind of life? Basically nothing.
There are millions of single mothers all over the world, working hard every day to give their kids the best life possible. And while there are certainly many aspects of the single mom life that are less-than-desirable, being a single mom might be better than you think. Sure, single moms are busy—but they’re responsible girl bosses who can handle just about anything you throw at them. They might be lonely—but they’re free to find someone with whom to spend their Friday night in order to ease that feeling. And being short on money? That just helps foster creativity, producing memories children will remember for a lifetime.
So keep an open mindset and let’s look at the 15 reasons you might actually be jealous of single moms—we bet you haven’t thought of these before. Plus, we give you five reasons to be jealous of single dads, because—spoiler alert—they’re pretty awesome, too.
20 Moms: They Know Their Kid Loves Them Best
. It’s a classic episode of The Brady Bunch: Cindy comes dragging in after school with her chin on her chest and refuses to answer when housekeeper Alice quizzes her on what’s wrong. Cindy has been cast in the coveted role of the Fairy Princess in the school play, but she doesn’t seem very excited about it. Finally, the problem comes out: Cindy is only allowed to give out one ticket for the play, and she’s dreading the torturous choice between giving it to her mother or giving it to her father. If only Carol Brady had never married Mike Brady, Cindy would’ve been all set—because a second parent wouldn’t have been in the picture. Whereas some parents might have a sneaking suspicion that they aren’t the favorite, single moms know they’ve got this one in the bag: their child loves them the most because, hello, there’s no other choice. If you’ve seen those YouTube videos where kids are quizzed on which parent they love the most, those won’t be happening here. Single mothers can rest easy, because the next time their child comes home with one ticket for the school play, they know just who’s going to get it.
19 Moms: Because They Have The Final Say
Married moms—remember last week when your kid asked if they could go to so-and-so’s house? You said no, because dinner was almost ready and it was getting dark and besides, toys were all over the house. The next thing you knew, your kid’s feet were pounding upstairs to find your husband—and then your kid was running out the door, “because Daddy said I could.” Yeah. Single moms—you’re letting out a somewhat evil laugh right now, because you don’t have this problem. Your word is law. When your kid asks you something and you say no, that’s it—there’s no more negotiating, because there’s nobody else for them to negotiate with. Plus, there are no disagreements on the adult end; sometimes it can be hard for parents to be a united front (for example, when Dad just doesn’t seem to see the importance of having everyone home to eat dinner in a clean house). But single moms don’t have to deal with these disagreements on the adult end. They can make up the zaniest rules they want to, and there won’t be any discussion. They lay down the law, their kids follow it, and that’s all there is to it.
18 Moms: They Can Go On Dates
Single moms are free—if they want to go out for cocktails on Friday night with their good-looking new coworker, no one’s stopping them. In many ways, it seems like single moms can lead a much more exciting social life than married ones. Married moms tend to do a lot of activities that include the whole family; their Friday nights are spent going to the pizza place with the arcade, cheering on their son at the football game, or trying to squeeze in the time for a glass of wine while complaining to fellow mom friends on the phone. But while single moms love their kids as much as anyone, they’re also not afraid to get a babysitter and get out on the town—often with a hot prospect by their side. Single moms are free to swipe right on Tinder as often as they’d like, and many moms say one of the most fun things about being single is hearing their kids give input on the dating scene. Not all single moms are looking to get married, but for the ones who are, dating around can make them feel as if they’re in high school again.
17 Moms: Because They're Ingeniously Fun And Creative
One of the top arguments to support the “being a single mom is the WORST” camp of thought is this: single moms don’t benefit from combined income. And since they’re the only ones who can drive the kids to soccer or breastfeed the baby or attend that parent-teacher conference, they’re running short on time, so they can’t work extra hours. Single moms must not make very much money, which means they can never take their kids to do anything fun! Right? Well, first of all, let us just say this: most single moms are Girl Bosses™. They’re highly responsible and hardworking; they know what they’re doing (we’ll talk about this more in a minute). So a lot of single moms make a good income. But second, single moms are resourceful. If they don’t have quite enough to go to Six Flags over the weekend, like everyone else, you can bet they’ll come up with an alternate activity that’s just as much fun—if not more so. Having a mom vs. kids scavenger hunt at the mall? Doing science experiments in the kitchen? Making a blanket fort in the backyard and watching a movie under the stars? Single moms know how to create their own fun, no $$$ needed—and more than just creating fun, they know how to create memories that will last a lifetime.
16 Moms: They Have No Mother-In-Law
We don’t think we need to say anything more than that—but we’re going to. Oh, the joys of mother-in-laws, the second mother you never wanted or needed. While not all of them are bad, it’s an unfortunate fact that many of them are just hard to live with. Your mother-in-law might have very different ideas than you about how you should raise her grandchildren (and she might make those ideas known on a regular basis). She might interject herself into decisions that need to be made by you and your husband. She might criticize your taste in home décor every chance she gets. We could give you the speech: give her a break, she nitpicks because she cares, if not for her you wouldn’t have your amazing husband. But instead, we’re just going to point out that if you were a single mom, you wouldn’t have a mother-in-law, and all of the strife would be nearly eliminated in a single blow. Married moms, you compare stories and see who has the worst mother-in-law. Single moms, you enjoy your quiet life and just hope that your mother doesn’t decide she needs to act as mother-in-law, too.
15 Moms: Single Moms Are Handy: They Can Literally Do Anything
Single moms can build some stairs, change the oil, mow the lawn—you name it, they can handle it. This doesn’t apply to every single mom ever—we’re sure there are still ladies out there who don’t know their way around a drill, or even a hammer (because, believe us, it’s not as if we’ve done much construction in our lifetimes). But for the most part, single moms can figure out anything, because when there isn’t anyone to do what needs to be done, someone has to step up to the plate. This is yet another instance of single moms being resourceful and doing whatever they need to do to keep the kids and the house running smoothly. And this doesn’t just mean construction (although most single moms could probably figure out how to build anything they needed to)—single moms are great at fixing things. The refrigerator isn’t working and needs an expensive part replaced? Replace it yourself and cut the cost in half. The beloved teddy bear is growing old and a hole has worn through his leg? Iron on a patch. The car is making a funny noise? Pop the hood and figure it out. Yep, single moms can pretty much fix anything—which is why we love them so much.
14 Moms: They Empower Their Daughters Big-Time
We’ve already established the fact single moms are responsible, resourceful, and fun Girl Bosses™ who totally know what they’re doing and who are killing it at life—and as their daughters watch them, it’s only logical their daughters are going to end up the same way. Empowering women is all the rage these days, and we think single moms are some of the best people to do it. At its core, empowering women and girls is about telling them the undeniable truth they are beautiful and brave and strong and capable and valuable—they matter, and we want what they have to contribute to the world—so who better to live out this message than a single mom, who exemplifies all of those characteristics so perfectly? While it’s ideal for a child to have two parents, this doesn’t always happen, but a single mom can show her daughter it’s totally okay to be single and it’s completely possible to be happy and stable while single. Honestly, we can’t wait to see the impact on the world that all girls who have a single mom are going to make because it’s going to be real and it’s going to be big.
13 Moms: They Work Harder Than Anyone We've Ever Met
For many moms, it’s a sink-or-swim situation—they have to work hard. One person with a full-time job is probably not going to make the same amount of money as two people with a full-time job; it’s just a fact. So to support not only themselves, but also their kids, single moms have to hustle. The house, the car, groceries, insurance, the kids’ clothes and daycare fees and medical payments and all the other expenses that seem to crop up out of nowhere—it all adds up, and single moms know better than anyone that if they don’t have the dough, they’re out of luck. To pay the bills, some single moms go back to school to get a degree and thus a better job; some single moms take on unpleasant work they’d really rather not be doing; and some single moms come up with a side hustle, becoming an entrepreneur and starting a business from home in addition to working their 9-5 job. Whatever route they take, single moms work hard because they have to, but also because they want to. We admire the single mom hustle—more power to you, ladies!
12 Moms: They're Not Afraid To Ask For Help
The old adage that it takes a village to raise a child? It’s really true, and single moms know it unlike anyone else. Single moms know how to delegate: they’re efficient at arranging carpools if they have to work during transport times or enlisting a teenage neighbor to babysit. The thing about asking for help is that it requires humility—it can be embarrassing to admit you can’t do everything yourself and you need a hand. But we all need a hand once in a while, and most people are more than willing to help out. Single moms have the wisdom to know when they need a hand and the humility to ask for it, and then they can enjoy the benefits: things will go much better for them long-term if they ask for help before they burn out instead of after. Single mothers are secure in the fact their friends and family love them, and they know it’s not an imposition to ask for a little relief every once in a while. And this is yet another reason children of single mothers will turn out to be fantastic people: because they have so many people who can serve as mentors and pour into them growing up.
11 Moms: They Completely Control Their Lives
If you’re a single mom and you want to pick up and move to Hawaii—why not? No one’s stopping you. Do you think your child needs a private school instead of a public school? You can enroll him tomorrow without asking anyone. Feel like going to the animal shelter and coming home with three puppies? Go for it! Single moms have an intoxicating amount of control and freedom over their own lives. They get to make decisions without consulting anyone, which can result in a heady rush of power. For many married couples who can’t even get takeout on the way home from work without asking someone’s opinion on where to go, this sounds like a refreshing change. And this privilege isn’t lost on most single moms: they fully enjoy exercising the power to choose whatever they want, whenever they want. Of course, they also have to live with the consequences of these decisions—but as we’ve already established, single moms are pretty savvy people, so we think they’ll be okay. In conclusion, we’re jealous of the fact that single moms can literally do anything, anytime, without asking anybody first.
10 Moms: No Sharing A Closet
This may seem unimportant. But honestly? It’s the most significant item on this entire list. The average woman owns at least a dozen pairs of shoes, while the footwear collection of some ladies gets up into the hundreds. (Can you blame us? We’ve got to have flip-flops for the pool, high heels for those Friday night cocktails, tennis shoes for the rare occasions when we work out…) And if you’ve ever peeked into the closet of a married couple, you can probably guess why a mom having an entire closet to herself is so important. If you can’t, we’ll paint you a picture: Clothes everywhere. Not enough hangers. Not enough space for shoes. Arguments over who owns which side of the closet. Lots of other junk that isn’t clothing and therefore doesn’t technically belong in the closet, but somehow ended up there anyway. Okay, you’re probably getting the picture—suffice to say every woman dreams of having a closet all to herself. And since single moms are alone in the master suite, they’ve got this one covered—they can buy as many clothes as they want, hang them on either side of the closet, and find plenty of space for those dozens of pairs of shoes (except the tennis shoes—those might head to Goodwill).
9 Moms: They Have More Room To Be Outgoing And Try New Things
As we’ve already discussed, married women tend to spend a lot of time doing activities that involve the entire family. We’re not saying single women don’t—remember, we’ve also already discussed how single moms have such a huge love for their kids. However, single women tend to get out of the house more, meet new people, and try new things. Since they’re so passionate about their child’s development—and since they feel entirely responsible for it—they expose their children to all kinds of situations and people. And remember how single moms are free to hit the town for those Friday night cocktails? Yep. This won’t be the case with every single mom; everyone is different, and everyone likes his or her familiar routine. Some single moms might come home from work every evening, put on yoga pants, and collapse on the couch to watch TV with their kids because they don’t have the energy or the desire to seek out something new—which is totally okay! Yoga pants are great. In general, however, many single moms tend to be more outgoing than married moms, and single moms make an effort to expose their kids to new ideas, activities, and people.
8 Moms: They Have A Super-Tight Bond With Their Kids
Single moms do everything with their kids, so it only stands to reason they’d be close! A child from a single-parent home will never have to choose between his or her parents like Cindy Brady, and daughters of single moms observe their mother killing it day in and day out. Single moms make their kids breakfast, go to work to pay the bills, cart the kids to baseball practice, help with school projects and homework, plan birthday parties, go on vacation with their kids, and more—simply because there’s no one else to do it. The plethora of memories these moms make with their kids means there won’t be many people their kids will love more than their mom. But as much as single moms love their kids, they celebrate just as much as married moms when the school bus finally comes again in the fall. And there’s one more detriment to this beautiful scenario of single-mom-love, too: what happens when the kids grow up and move out? Single moms will suddenly be alone, without purpose, and potentially lonely and depressed. Let’s hope there will be grandkids coming before too long to accept all the little-person love single moms still want to give.
7 Moms: Solo Moms Feel More Pride In Their Children
When someone compliments the child of a single mother, this compliment is a direct testament to how hardworking, loving, and diligent the single mom has been as she raises her kid. “Matt threw a great touchdown pass in the game tonight!” That’s because Mom practiced with him every evening in the backyard after work. “Emma gave her jacket to her friend at school who didn’t have one!” That makes Mom smile, because Mom taught her to be kind to others. “Both of your kids tell the funniest stories!” Which is all due to Mom, who has a love for humor and makes her kids laugh around the dinner table. Compliments make the single mom swell up with pride, because SHE did this. She raised this amazing, resourceful, kind and funny kid all by herself. For a married couple, the pride is split, because theoretically each parent does about the same amount of work in raising their kids. But single moms? They know the accolades are all for them. They work hard every single day providing for their kids and caring for them, and they deserve a few well-earned tributes. Single moms have great kids, and it’s all because of them.
6 Moms: No Expectations? No Disappointments
It’s a classic and well-known situation: the honey-do list. Sometimes it’s on the refrigerator, sometimes it’s on the counter, sometimes it’s written on a whiteboard. It typically contains items pertaining to the maintenance of the household, such as “fix the garage door,” “replace leaky faucet in master bath,” and “build patio cover.” But no matter where the honey-do list resides or what items are listed on it, there’s always one thing you can count on for sure: a month later, six months later, even a couple of years later, it will still have the same items on it. The garage door still won’t shut properly, the faucet in the master bath still leaks, and the patio is still naked and uncovered. In a single-parent household, however, there is no honey-do list, because there is no “honey” to do the things. Single moms don’t have a husband on whom to place expectations, which means single moms won’t be disappointed if the expectations are never fulfilled. This leads to much less stress, drama, and frustration at home. Single moms can fix the garage door, replace the leaky faucet, and build a patio cover themselves, effectively completing the honey-do list—so they won’t be disappointed or upset when the list is still uncompleted a year later.
Single moms are awesome--and single dads are, too. Here are five bonus reasons to be jealous of single dads.
5 Dads: They're SO MUCH FUN.
For real—we’re a little bit upset that no one ever told us how much fun single dads actually have. Bodily throwing the giggling kids into the pool, making mud pies, and saying “yes” to everything? Sounds like a dream for most kids! Sure, married dads have fun too. But single dads are so much better. The key is this: there’s no one around to tell them, “That’s dangerous!” or “Honey, don’t do that to the kids!” or “No, you can’t actually have ice cream for dinner.” Married moms, think about when you go out with your girlfriends for an evening and come home to find the trash can piled high with candy bar wrappers and the kids still awake at midnight. Yep—that’s basically the everyday life of a single dad and his kiddos. And we know the kids are loving it. With single dads, the fun never ends! They know the bigger the mess, the bigger the fun—and if there’s a little danger involved, well, everyone loves a thrill. That is, everyone except Mom—but when there isn’t a mom in the picture, there are no limits to the fun dads can have with their kids.
4 Dads: They Have Good Time Management Skills
They have good time management skills. Single dads wouldn’t survive if they didn’t. Working full-time and being a full-time dad is difficult, so single dads have to be resourceful and organized if they want to get everything done. Plus, single dads form good sleep habits. They learn to take it when they can get it—if their toddler wakes them up at six every morning, they’ll start going to bed earlier. Being a single dad promotes good time management skills and the formation of good habits—because, again, single dads wouldn’t survive without them. Single dads learn to be efficient: they employ techniques such as laying out their daughter’s outfit the night before to decrease the potential of a tantrum in the morning, making enough dinner to provide school lunches for the next day, and teaching the kids to do various household chores that Dad just doesn’t have the time for. Learning to manage our time wisely is important for all of us, and single dads have this skill down pat better than anyone. Being a single dad creates good habits that will do nothing but benefit Dad, kiddos, and everyone else around them. Single dads are not only able to keep their heads above water, but they’re able to thrive both at work and as a father.
3 Dads: They Have More Time To Do What They Want
With single dads, there’s no racing to the television as soon as the kids’ bedroom door closes to see who can grab the remote first, because there’s no wife to join in the race. Instead, single dads can take their sweet time settling into their man-cave to watch football, survival shows, or WWE instead of having to sit through yet another episode of Pretty Little Liars or watching some lady take an hour just to mix up a cake. Not only do single dads have all the time in the world to do whatever they want, but they have lots of other time, too—think about when they drop the kids off at a birthday party or when both kids go to spend the night at a friend’s house or when Grandma decides she wants to take the kids home with her for a week in the summer (and every dad, single or married, says “PLEASE AND THANK YOU”). Single dads have a level of freedom married men just don’t have, because married men want to spend those times with their wife. When there’s no wife in the picture, however, single dads can go do anything they want—which might get a little crazy.
2 Dads: Their Daughters Will End Up With Great Guys
Remember how we discussed that single moms empower their daughters as their daughters observe how hardworking and overall amazing they are? It’s the same situation with single dads. If a single dad is striving to be the best, kindest, most hardworking dad he can be, his daughter will be enamored with him; he’ll be the most important guy in his daughter’s life. So when his daughter begins dating (when she’s 30—don’t worry, we’re not suggesting any time sooner), she’ll look for someone just like him. It’s great for little girls to have strong female role models in their lives, but what’s often overlooked is the need for good male role models as well. And considering how awesome single dads are, we think these dads are just the right person to take care of their daughters, protect them, and tell them they can do anything—and that they’ll maim and dismember any boyfriend who doesn’t do the same. Every daughter wants to know her dad loves and cares for her, and who better to reassure their daughters of this fact than the single dad? Single dads who work hard and prove their love to their daughters set a great example for the kind of guy their daughters should date.
1 Dads: They'll Land Excellent Jobs
Single dads are responsible and hardworking. They’re good at what they do. They genuinely care about people. They have excellent time management skills. If this looks like a resume, you’re right—and if this looks like a resume that would get someone hired, you’re right again. The fact single dads are so responsible and resourceful means they have the potential to land some great jobs! The traits they’ve acquired while being a single dad will put them in good stead when they look for a job. Employers like to see a good work ethic, great time management skills, and authentic compassion for other people in their candidates—and the lifestyle of a single dad naturally promotes every single one of these things. Since single dads need to not only support themselves but also support a couple of kids, this is good news: if for any reason a single dad should get laid off, he’d have no problem finding another job—maybe even a better one. Single dads make great employees because they work hard, don’t complain, and have cultivated good habits and good time management skills. These traits will allow them to land the best jobs possible to provide for their kids as the kids grow up.