Someday, as unimaginable as it is now, the kids will dress themselves. They won’t need you to put on every bootie (they probably won’t even wear booties since they’ll definitely be up and walking) or pick out their little outfits. Actually, they’ll probably even be so independent you’ll end up occasionally not liking what they’re wearing.
That said, different stages in life bring different problems and the fact of it is that when you’re the one dressing your child, despite the fact that you have the autonomy to completely avoid obnoxious t-shirts, you’ll probably also have some brain farts that cause you to dress them slightly wrong.
Sure, it’s glaringly obvious to everyone else when anyone of any age is “dressed slightly wrong”, but there is a parental mental haze that comes from severe multi-tasking and resulting in not being able to see, for instance, that your child’s pants are on backwards. Maybe your pants are on backwards too. Did you just check? Did you not check and realize you probably should but don’t feel like it? Well, if your answer was the latter then your child should definitely check that their pants are on the right way. But you’re not alone.
There are so many adorable little pieces that your baby will look so cute in! Okay, take another deep breath. It doesn’t matter if you’re looking at Ivy Park’s new infant line of clothing (does that exist? Beyonce would make a killing) or if you’re at Target. Yes, all baby clothes are adorable. It’s hard not to be when you’re that tiny. But your baby only needs so many outfits and you can always come back. So before you sacrifice large parts of the grocery budget for more leggings, take a lap and think about the distinction between what you need and what you want.
19 Using Baby Slings That Are Too Large
Plenty of people try a baby sling once and decide they’re not a sling person. The point is that these things can feel very complex. However, there are moments when it’s the sling that’s not right for you and when you’re not doing totally right by the sling. Like if the sling is just way too big- sure, your baby will certainly grow into it but it’s not safe for them to be in it now. Take a deep breath, release the impatience of how much gear you need for such brief stages and put the toddler-sized sling down. It’s not right yet.
18 Having Frills Near The Face
Welcome again to the intersection of adorableness versus practicality- it's a common issue on this subject. If a baby clothing line is selling frilly clothes and those frills are near the face, doesn’t it have to be safe? It’s a company making these- they wouldn’t endanger a child. Maybe not on purpose but they wouldn’t be as considerate and concerned about your child’s wellbeing as you are. Because they’re a company that will never see your child. Sure, those frills are adorable but anything that could possibly compromise baby's breathing and respiration is a huge no. Trust your gut, not the clothing company based in Taiwan.
17 Leaving On Tags
This might seem like overkill but think about how obnoxious, itchy and sometimes even painful tags on shirts can be. Or any other article of clothing audacious enough to come with a built-in itch factor- I didn’t pay to have an uncomfortable neck! Why would I seek that out? This is an outrage! Now imagine you have no way to express that discomfort and also can’t understand what is causing the itchiness or what it even is. Yeah, that’s what an annoying tag is like for a baby. You’re not being sacrilegious to Grandma’s gift- cut off the tag and save yourself a tantrum.
16 Wearing Unwashed New Clothing
Again, this might sound like advice from that super-paranoid parent friend who rambles like a conspiracist about GMOs, but they have a point about this.
Your baby’s clothing most likely had to travel half way across the world to get to you- that involves unimaginably large cargo shipping boats and long waits in warehouses.
The point is, that adorable onesie might have some pretty crazy bacteria on it so it’s best to play it safe. The other point is that while those uber-paranoid parents are a bit boring to talk to, they’re probably right every now and then.
15 Buying In Packs
It seems like such a good idea! There are so many expenses that come with having a baby and so much gear to get- why not just compound some of it with a super useful, Costco-sized bunch?
Because you’re not actually saving money- you’re actually wasting resources. Babies grow so fast that any kind of packaged item, whether it'ss clothes or food in bulk, can easily expire or become unnecessary for their life stage before you’re done using it. You can buy yourself three of the same pair of jeans because you know you’ll wear them, but you really can’t be sure your baby will wear all those clothes.
14 Too Many Layers
No one wants baby to be cold but there are times when there’s simply no need for that many layers of shirts and jumpers and cardigans. Sure, it’s 65 degrees outside and there’s the fear in the back of your head that this will feel arctic to your little one but they're definitely over-heating in that Russian-stacking doll of an outfit.
If it’s not coat weather, skip that third layer and keep them close to your body.
The whole point of layering is that you can take off what you put on so at the very least, the problem we’ve made for ourselves also comes with a solution.
13 Being Too Focused On Brand Names
There are plenty of years ahead when your baby will be clued into the connotations and implications of the adult world, but we’re not there yet.
They don’t know what they’re wearing nor do they care. You might care, but your wallet will also suffer.
That’s why it’s objectively dumb to buy your child a designer outfit they will absolutely grow out of before the seasons have even changed. If you’re an Insta star with Cardi B money, do whatever you want but if you’re part of the majority for whom money actually matters… go with a generic piece of baby clothing. They’ll be adorable in whatever they wear.
12 Not Wearing Gloves
Sure, since no newborn should be going to the opera it feels like overkill to put them in gloves. That said, it's for their own safety and yours- those little fingernails are killer. Just tiny enough to be unpleasant to trim and just sharp enough to take out an eye… or give you a killer paper cut. Is it a paper cut if it’s not from paper?
They also might scratch themselves, which is worse to witness since you can’t explain to them what’s happening or even the most basic notion of cause and effect.
Sure, a baby in gloves is gloriously ridiculous but it’s better than re-stocking the Band-Aids that you’ll need if you go without.
11 Forgetting To Wear Hats
People flip out when newborns don’t wear hats and while it’s usually expressed very rudely and in the comments section of some celebrity’s Instagram post, it’s for a good reason.
The sun does some messed up things to adult skin unchecked and it's certainly been longer than a calendar year since we arrived into the world.
Babies in hats are one of those times when realistic parental expectations come into conflict with what makes sense in the moment. Of course you know what you're supposed to do, but perfect isn't an option. The truth is, if your baby is in direct sunlight… they should wear that little bucket hat.
10 Forgetting Booties
Sure, your baby isn’t up on their feet and walking down those city sidewalks, but they still have to have their feet covered.
It comes down to body heat- most of the heat is released either from the hands, feet or head.
It’s why wearing a beanie in the winter keeps you so much cozier- those are the most vulnerable body parts and they’re most prone to chilling the entire body. Plus, the world is gross and your baby most likely has very sensitive skin- put those tiny socks on your baby. Anyway, they’re one of the tiny things you’ll keep for ages and never stop marveling at.
9 Using Harsh Detergents
Even those of us with the most sensitive of moon-white skin have nothing on a newborn- they literally just moved from a fluid space designed especially to take care of them and foster their life into the world, which happens to be a very difficult place to navigate. Then you throw chemicals meant to clean that often are far too harsh for anyone, baby or adult, into the equation and it’s a mess.
Avoid a trip to the pediatrician and a rash that might just not be a big deal but might be a nightmare and do the extra research on your detergents.
And here are 8 times celebs messed up too...
8 When Luna Legend Wasn't Wearing Enough Layers
Sure, they might not get shamed in line at the grocery store like we do but isn’t it a relief to know celebrities mess up, too? Wait- I thought they were perfect! Well most of it has to do with Photoshop and a team of people helping you look perfect and some is natural talent that got them to where they are… but there’s always human error lurking its ugly little head around your baby’s next outfit. So while your nosy Aunt Sharon might comment on yours and Chrissy Teigen’s baby pictures with more than enough unsolicited advice, at least your audience is just her and not her plus millions of other folks.
7 North Kardashian West's Run-In With Choking Hazards
Arguably, one of Kim Kardashian’s most impressive feats is showing the world that you can be gorgeous and in charge of your own destiny and success. There’s no reason to assume it’s a trade off between looks and self respect and she’s shown that to a gigantic audience. Also, she’s just crazy rich and got her family to also be crazy rich, too. The Kardashians are often wrongfully dismissed as stupid because the world can’t comprehend an intelligent woman who is also beautiful.
But there are also plenty of accusations of the Kardashian’s superficiality that hold up. Like North falling asleep in a choking hazard- yeah, no reason for that nonsense.
6 And Penelope Disick's Own Choking Hazard
No Kardashian messes up alone. Is that a saying? It should be. Penelope was photographed by her mother wearing a fake lip piercing similar to her Aunt Kim’s. There are definitely hoards of parents who will object to a child of that age wearing something like this at all, but let’s concern ourselves with safety and keep fashion taste out of it.
Yes, this is a piece of body jewelry that could become unattached and compromise Penelope’s safety.
Sure, we can’t tell exactly how it’s attached by this picture alone but it’s safe to assume it’s temporary and thus, not secure enough for sleeping in.
5 When Mariah Carey's Son Was Too Old For A Pacifier
All Mariah Carey wanted to do was post a picture of her and her children to prove she’s not the fame-ravenous diva the public assumes she is. Honestly, that’s exactly the kind of thing a fame-ravenous diva would do is to use her children as props for her own public image but… let’s put motives aside. So many folks were so up in arms because Mariah’s son, Moroccan, was twenty one months old in this picture. The general guideline to give up pacifiers is a year and while every child develops at their own rate… there’s a big difference between a year old and nearly two.
4 When Coco Austin's Daughter Wore Shoes She Can't Walk In... If She Could Walk
Again, not all parents see certain clothes as too grown up for certain ages. You could argue that the only reason revealing clothing is perceived as morally inferior is because we placed those judgements on it- there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with the baby clothes themselves so long as they’re comfortable and safe.
Why shame a child using adult standards when they’re not yet an adult? And why continue to let those painful standards exist? That said, this baby clearly didn’t choose her outfit.
And not everything about a baby’s outfit has to be sensible since they’re obviously highly dependent but… heels on a newborn is definitely weird.
3 When Britney Drove With A Baby On Her Lap
Woof- talk about a mess up for the ages. Everyone knows why this looks bad and even if there’s a convoluted story about why it’s okay… it’s not. Nothing good can come of this situation.
And while this isn’t strictly a wardrobe snafu, car seats are an extension of your baby’s outfit existing to give them comfort and safety so this can fall into the same category.
Plenty of baby gear can be obnoxiously confusing, tiny clothing with no discernible use or car seats, but it’s all worth the patience to be used correctly.
2 All The Times Hugh Jackman Let His Kids Ride Scooters Without A Helmet
This one just keeps happening- it’s not fair to judge a person’s character, famous or otherwise, on a single action but when there’s a pattern of behavior… it makes some uncomfortable truths more obvious. For instance, it really doesn’t seem like Hugh Jackman is concerned about a seemingly innocent form of exercise leading to disaster.
And yes, it’s easy to scooter along on the sidewalk and feel like nothing bad could happen but almost all bad things are unexpected. That’s the nature of life- that’s why all elements of safety even exist.
If we could predict bad stuff, we’d just avoid it. We'd also live in another world where no bad stuff ever happens.
1 Farrah Abraham's Portrayal Of Her Daughter
How revealing or seemingly mature a child’s dress seems to be is completely subjective- it’s also a matter of parenting if you even want to raise your child to associate the way they express themselves physically with those kind of value judgements. Especially if some outside idea of modesty interferes with your child’s happiness, it’s just not as important as others will think it is. But then there’s going to lengths to alter your child’s appearance to be more attractive to others. Like, other adults. That’s… deeply weird. Maybe waxing a unibrow (hi, Farrah) seems like a preemptive way to stop your child from being ashamed of it, but aren’t you teaching them that their natural appearance is wrong?
Sources: babygaga.com, parents.com, babble.com