Most moms will agree that having a child has been one of the greatest joys of their life. From meeting their mini-me for the first time to watching them grow up, it’s incredible to see a person you created live and experience life. Motherhood is definitely an incredible experience, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have downsides. It’s also totally normal for moms to miss some aspects of their lives before they had kids.
That doesn’t mean they regret having kids by any means. It just means there were some perks to being childfree that you can’t enjoy when you have a kiddo or two. These 22 mothers shared about the things they miss the most from before they became moms. From being able to sleep in, all the way to partying all night long to simply having space, these are things a lot of mamas wish they could enjoy once again.
Hey, we guess that’s why they say having kids changes you forever! But, remember, just because you’re a mom doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make time for yourself and for self-care!
What story surprised you the most? Make sure to let us know in the comments, and also tell us about what you miss the most from before you had kids!
22 Can’t Stand The Cartoons
Angela* says that she wishes she could go back in time to the days she didn’t know what the children’s show Caillou was. And who can blame her? That cartoon is pretty annoying, say most parents out there.
“Every parent says this but I hate knowing who Caillou is. He’s the most annoying cartoon on TV and I don’t know how his animated parents have so much patience.
I actually told my 4-year old that Caillou got pulled off the air because I couldn’t stand to watch it any longer. She claims she saw it at a friends house recently, but I told her it must have been a dream.”
21 Going Out To Eat
Jonie* says that all she really wants is to go to a nice restaurant with her husband without the kids. Having children really changes the way you can enjoy eating outside of the home, and it sounds like she preferred things when it was just the two of us.
“I feel like we’ve always had a toddler in the house for the past 10 years. I just really miss the days we could go to a nice restaurant as husband and wife. Now if we go out, it’s somewhere kid-friendly. And usually, it’s chaotic and stressful because they make such noise. Date night is forever changed.”
20 A Vacation Or Paying Rent?
Any parents who like to take their kids traveling knows how expensive things can get, even when you’re trying to stick to a budget!
Sailor* says she misses the days she and her husband could go on a trip just the two of them - and what it meant for their bank account. Now, it costs a heck of a lot more to take their whole brood anywhere.
“My husband and I traveled so much before we had kids because it’s so much cheaper just paying for the two of us. Plus we never wanted to do expensive touristy things, or those things specifically meant for kids. But now that we have two daughters, it costs almost double the amount to go anywhere.”
19 I’m A Night Owl
Joyce* says that she misses the days where she could stay up late without thinking about what she had to do the next morning. Now that she has kids, however, she always has to be up at a certain time in order to get them started or their days. So staying up late just means she loses out on precious sleep.
“All I really miss is staying up late with no consequences. Now I have to think before I do that. Because every morning the kids are up at a certain time and want breakfast, so I have to be up at a certain time too. Staying up past midnight just means I’ll get less sleep (and will be miserable later on).”
18 I’m No Master Chef
Ruby* admits that she wishes she didn’t have to spend so much time cooking meals, like back before she had kids and only had herself to feed. Nowadays, she feels stressed over the amount of time she spends on getting food ready for her family.
“I seriously miss those days when I was single without kids and just had to make dinner for one. I used to think it was a huge task, but probably just took all of 15 minutes. Now I cook for a family of three, so I spend at least 2-3 hours a day preparing meals. It’s almost like having a part-time job on top of my normal job.”
17 I Feel Ready To Mingle
Marnie* says that she misses the days she was single and kid-free now that her marriage feels like it’s breaking apart.
“This sounds so horrible. But what I really miss is being single. My husband and my relationship haven’t been the same since we had kids. We never hang out just the two of us or do anything romantic.
We don’t even celebrate holidays like our anniversary and don’t even ask about if we still do stuff in bed. Sometimes I think it would be better if we weren’t together, but I can’t do that to the kids.”
16 That Smell In The Car
Molly* says the thing she misses the most is really simple: a clean car. She admits her twin boys never make it easy to keep the car organized and smelling clean. Hopefully, she has a good car air freshener hanging on her dashboard!
“This will sound so silly, but really the only thing I miss is having the car smell normal. With 4-year old twin boys, there’s always something spilling in the car and not getting cleaned properly. Just last week one of them decided to go to the bathroom in his car seat, and then not tell me until the next day.”
15 Done With Diapers
Violaine* says that- even after 4 kids over 10 years- she still isn’t used to diapers. It’s the one thing she hates the most from motherhood, and the one thing she misses never having to do back before she became a mom.
“We have four kids, each with three-year age differences. So I’ve literally been changing diapers for the past 10 years. As soon as one grows out of it, we have another kid. If I could have one thing from my childless life, it would be to never have to change a diaper.
Oh - and you never get used to the smell.”
14 I Need A Night Out
Clementine* admits she wishes it was as easy to go out with friends on the weekend as it used to be. Having children that need someone to always look after them kind of dampens those sorts of plans.
“I know this sounds so basic, but I honestly just miss being able to go out on the weekends without thinking about it.
Now, trying to meet up with girlfriends, even for lunch, is so complicated. I have to make sure it works with the kids’ schedule, then find a sitter, and then I’m always worried about what I have to do when I get home while I’m still out.
Enjoy your 20s while they last!”
13 I Miss Doing Things For Me
Larsa* admits that she misses the days when she had freedom and time to do things she loved, like paint a picture. Now that she’s a mom, her time is spent focusing on her family, so it leaves no room for the other things she enjoys.
“I miss when I had time to do things for myself and that I loved. Like, I used to be really into painting and arts and had a whole room dedicated to being my studio. When we had our first child, we turned it into his room. And it just feels like every year I’m doing less and less of the things that bring me joy as an individual.”
12 The Dry Spell
Many couples say that they stop doing the deed as regularly once they’ve been together for multiple years and especially when they have kids. June* says that’s what has happened in her relationship, and she missed her younger years when things weren’t so dull between the sheets.
“I miss [doing it]. I don’t think my husband and I have done the deed in months. Now we only do it on rare occasions, like our anniversary or a holiday.”
Since so many other couples go through the same thing, hopefully, June knows it’s not abnormal. And, hopefully, with time they’ll get over this dry spell.
11 My Actions Always Matter
There are a lot of new responsibilities and pressures that come with being a mother. Bristol* admits that she misses the days when the only person she had to worry about was herself and that she’s tired of having to always be everyone’s shoulder to lean on.
“I sometimes hate always having to be the responsible one. What I miss about not having kids is not having to worry about anyone but myself. Like if I wanted to be irresponsible, I could. But now anything I do will impact my kids in one way or another.”
We bet a lot of moms feel this exact same way!
10 Go To Your Own Bed
Kasey* says that the only thing she really wants is to spend a night alone in her bed without her kids taking up empty space. It sounds like she definitely took for granted the days she had a bed to herself.
“I just want to be able to sleep in my bed alone with my man like I used to! Every night one of our kids is claiming to have a bad dream and asking to sleep with us. Our toddler is also scared of her bed, so she hasn’t slept by herself in 2 months. I can’t wait until I somehow get the romance back in my relationship.”
9 I Want My Old Self Back
Brooke* admits something a lot of mothers feel - she misses what her body looked like before she had kids.
Now, it’s much harder for her to lose weight and she has to be more conscious about what she eats. But the worst part is how her confidence has been affected by it.
“I know it’s not body positive, but I really missed my old figure from before I had kids. I never had to watch what I ate or workout, and still had this awesome figure that made me feel so good. But I never really lost the baby weight after my second pregnancy, and I’ve felt insecure ever since.”
8 The Struggles Of Dating
Rania* says she misses what her dating life looked like before she had kids. Then, she could go out with whoever and bring them home, but now she can’t do that because she has her girls to consider.
“My daughters’ father and I didn’t stay together long after they were born. So it’s been a struggle for me to date as a single mom since. Before I had kids, I could go out with anyone I want and bring them home, too.
Now I can’t stay out too long or bring them home for fear it will impact my girls. I think it makes me harder to open up, and probably a lot less guys are interested in a mom of two.”
7 My Home, My Décor
Elena* admits that she misses having nice decorations in her household. Since her kids are so prone to breaking things, she doesn’t like spending money on décor or having her nice pieces out on display - at least until the kids are a bit older, that is.
“As an interior decorator, I love putting time and money into styling decorations. Before I got married and had kids, my house looked like a furniture store. But as soon as I had my first baby, I realized how breakable things are.
Now I don’t plan on investing so much into things until the kids are older, and a lot of our expensive house stuff is put away in storage to protect it. Sometimes I miss when I didn’t have to think about these sorts of things.”
6 Please Don’t Wake Me Up
When you have kids, things never go according to your schedule- they go according to your kids. That means if they wake up early, you do to. Sarah* says she misses her kid-free days when she could sleep in as late as she wanted, especially since her days usually start at 7am or earlier.
“I only really miss not having early mornings! Now with my girls’ school and soccer on weekends, I’m always up at least at 7am. But before I had kids you’d never find me awake before 10, even when I got my current job (luckily I work from home).”
5 Dreams of Financial Freedom
Irene* says she misses the days when she didn’t have to worry about paying for her kids. Now, she always has to think about her children’s expenses before buying anything for herself.
“Just a few years ago, I realized how much I missed having money to spend on myself. Having kids is so expensive, especially since we want to have them in sports and activities. There’s barely anything leftover for us parents to go on date nights or for me to shop for new clothes or things for the house.
I had more financial freedom when I was younger.”
4 Blaming The Babysitter
Brenda* misses the days that she didn’t have to worry about getting a babysitter if she wanted to go out for the night. Though she still tries to maintain as much of a social life as she can, this one detail definitely puts a damper on the fun - and gets pricey!
“I still try to go out as often as I can so I have kind of a social life. But the worst thing is having to find a babysitter- I miss the days I didn’t have to do that. Just getting to know someone enough to trust them around my kids is hard enough, let alone working with everyone’s schedules. Plus it gets expensive fast.”
3 I Need ‘Me’ Time
Rhea* says that what she misses most is having time (and money) to pamper herself, like getting her nails done or going out with the girls. Now she’s too busy taking care of her family to ever have some me time - which totally isn’t healthy, because all moms need a break here and there.
“I miss that I never have time to treat myself anymore. When I was younger, I was always getting a manicure and going out with friends. But now my version of ‘pampering’ myself is a sheet mask and Netflix when the kids are down for the night.”
2 The Mess Makes Me Mad
Erica* says she misses the feeling of having a spotless and organized house. Now that she has three kiddos and a husband, she says things are never looking the way she wants. Only when the kids are move out will she have full control over her space again!
“My house never being this messy! I know I’m a clean freak, so my place was always spotless before the babies. Before now I’ve got a husband and 3 kids, so nothing is ever tidy. I get so stressed before having guests over. But even if I clean, the kids just make it messy in a matter of minutes, so it’s not worth it.”
1 Eaten Out of House and Home
Jane* admits that the one thing she misses the most about life before kids is simple - she wishes she didn’t have to make as many grocery trips. She says her family eats so much, that she is constantly buying food every other day. And yet there never seems to be anything in the fridge.
“With four kids in the hour (3 of which are teenage boys) I can’t not make at least two trips to the grocery store. I miss being able to shop once and then not go for a week. But the food gets used up as soon as I buy it. I swear if I buy too much in bulk, it encourages the boys to eat more.”
*Names have been changed.