Oh, the helicopter moms. We know them well and may even be one ourselves! Called a helicopter because of their constant hovering, these moms are very involved, if not over-involved in every tiny aspect of their child’s life. School, play, and everything in-between, they are there and know just about everything about it.
Helicopter moms are seen as overprotective. But, are they? Perhaps some traits of a helicopter mama are on the right track. In some sense, they may do things properly and even with good intentions. We may even be able to learn a thing or two from these hovering mama bears. Perhaps they take things too far, but they may have some good ideas for moms in general.
Chances are, when you hear the term helicopter mom, you cringe. These moms certainly get a bad rap. And that could be for good reason. We might think, nothing positive can come from a mama who is always all over their child. Helicopter moms are very often seen in an extremely negative light.
Which side is right? Well, it could be both! Read on for 10 ways the helicopter mom has got it right, but 10 times she needs to back off.
20 Gets It Right: She's Actively Involved In Her kid's Life
If there is one thing a helicopter mom has down, it is being active and present in their child’s life. Too much? Some may see it that way, but there is no denying that at the very least, the child of a helicopter mom has a mom who is willing to be involved.
We all know that too many children are ignored or pushed to the side. With children of helicopter moms, they have a mother who is present and involved.
Helicopter mamas know where their child is, what they are doing, and even how they are feeling, really, all the time.
19 Gets It Right: She's Always On Time
If you need to rely on anyone, you can rely on the helicopter mom! These hovering, perhaps overprotective mamas have the positive trait of always being on time.
If they need to pick up their kid at school or from a playdate, these moms will be there when they say they will. In fact, they may even be early.
This is a good thing. There is nothing worse than seeing a crying child because their mom is late. Don’t have to worry about this happening with helicopter moms. They will be where they need to be without any problems or issues.
18 Gets It Right: She Makes Sure Homework Is Always Done
Children of helicopter moms seem to always have their homework completed and turned in on time. This is fantastic! Now, how they got to that point may be a little questionable.
We certainly hope that the helicopter mama did not actually do their homework (which they may be accused of doing). We hope that, instead, they have structure and routine in their household, and are very active in the academic lives of their children.
They know what homework their child has, and when it has to be done. They might help, they might hover, but the homework is always completed!
17 Gets It Right: She's Super Prepared For Everything
Due to a helicopter mom’s over-involvement, they are typically prepared for just about everything and anything.
If your kid scrapes her knee at the playground, you can count on the helicopter mom to have some band-aids. If the class needs someone to bake cupcakes, helicopter mom will likely step up.
They do what they need to do for their child, and you can always count on them to follow through and to be very prepared.
Some may see it as a bit much, maybe even too prepared, but there are many times when this over preparedness is not only a good thing but is actually nice.
16 Gets It Right: She's On Speaking Terms With Teachers And Parents
We know that helicopter moms are involved in essentially all aspects of their child’s life. Therefore, they know their kid’s teachers, and the teachers know them very well, too. Even the other parents know the helicopter moms.
Is this a bad thing? We don’t think so. The helicopter mom gets noticed. She puts herself out there, and because of this, teachers, parents, and the like recognize and know of her.
They may even be friends with her. Teachers can rely on the helicopter mom, and so can other parents. They may even begin to wish they were a little like her!
15 Gets It Right: She's Able To Talk Through Mistakes And Issues
Helicopter moms are analyzers. They become involved, perhaps overly so, in their child’s life. Being so involved, it is only natural for them to be aware and then to address certain issues.
One benefit of these hovering mamas is that they do tend to address and talk through mistakes or issues with their children. For them, it is only natural to have a discussion surrounding the day.
If issues arise, they are talked about, not pushed under the covers, and that, most can agree, is one huge plus of the helicopter moms, having things out in the open and available to talk.
14 Gets It Right: She's GPS Tracking Her Kids
No, no, helicopter moms are not implanting their kids with GPS devices. A helicopter mom is really her own GPS device! Helicopter moms are notorious for being very involved in their child’s life, even if the child tries to fight it.
Therefore, these mama bears kept track of the whereabouts of their kids at all times. They know where they are, when they will come home, and their whole list of scheduled and spontaneous activities.
Yes, a helicopter mom is the one who will call to confirm with the other parent when a kid says she is going to her friend’s house!
13 Gets It Right: She's Well Aware Of Ongoing Issues And Achievements
This mama bear is not only aware of what her child is doing outside of school, but in school as well. Helicopter moms have the amazing ability to hover wherever they see fit, and that includes school grounds.
No, they are not trespassing, but they are making themselves available at any and all times. Classroom moms, school volunteers, PTA presidents -- these are all your most notable helicopter mamas!
They are well aware of issues in school regarding their children, as well as proud achievements. This is all good. We need more parents who take a more active role in the school life of their child.
12 Gets It Right: She Knows Her Kids' Friends
It is important for a parent to be well aware of the friendships between her child and other kids. We never want our children to be in with the bad crowd. Helicopter moms are, of course, very worried about this, and definitely bring out their inner mama bear.
They keep very good track of their children, and that includes who, what, where and when they are hanging out.
These moms often know the friends of their kid’s very well, because it is important to them to know the kind of people their child hangs around. These moms may even know the parents well, too!
11 Gets It Right: She's Forging Positive Relationships With Her Kids
Having a positive relationship between a mother and a son or daughter is really essential to a proper upbringing.
We know kids might rebel at a certain age, but from a young age, if we can get our children to trust us and confide in us, it makes things much easier, and very positive down the road.
It helps to create a quality relationship between the pair. Sure, helicopter moms may seem as hovering, but they are also caring. A child may enjoy knowing that their mom has their back no matter where or what happens, and that is a good thing.
10 Back Off: To Let kids fight their own battles
When helicopter moms are there to save the day, that means the child does not learn how to stand up for himself. It is important that our children develop strong independent skills that allow them to tell a bully or whoever is bothering them to lay off.
If a helicopter mom is always swooping in at the first signs of trouble, that kid is not learning how to fend for herself.
She has to rely on her mama to help her out when things get tough, and we all know that does not make for a good future adult in society!
9 Back Off: To let kids realize their own dreams
We want our children to achieve great heights, and the helicopter mom is no different here. However, with a helicopter mom comes her own set of rules, structure, and expectations.
Oftentimes, helicopter moms are so hovering, they tend to squash any dreams their children may have. It could be from fear of getting hurt or fear their child will be rejected, no matter the reason, a helicopter mom can do quite a job of damage in this department.
These mamas can essentially hold their child back just due to their own, selfish reasons (even though they may see it as good reasons).
8 Back Off: To let kids find their own identities at school
We all know the classic helicopter moms. She’s the one always hovering over her kids at the playground and pushing herself into the school classroom. She is always around.
She may be helpful, but she can come across has extremely bothersome and annoying. It is no wonder that there is so much negativity surrounding helicopter moms. They never seem to go away.
They often do not like to enlist help, and that makes for a sour taste in both other parents and teachers’ mouths. No one likes someone who isn’t a team player. And helicopter moms are not team players!
7 Back Off: To let kids become independent
There is a big problem when it comes to helicopter moms, and that is their uncanny ability to turn a potential independent child into a very dependent one, and that could even carry into adulthood.
These kids of helicopter moms are not allowed to do things on their own. Really, literally, nothing. A true helicopter mom is always around, always hovering and monitoring. If something comes up, the mama steps in, and that child does not develop those independent skills that we all want our children to possess.
These dependent kids realize that their mom will always be there, so they fail to become independent beings.
6 Back Off: to let kids solve their own problems
Imagine always having something to solve all your problems. We are talking social, academic, and more. Helicopter moms are notorious for swooping in whenever they feel they are needed, which to them, is basically anytime.
They always feel like they are needed and wanted. No matter what the problem is that their child encounters, they will find a way to fix it. On their own.
Not with their child, or showing their child. They do not teach their child how to solve this problem, rather, they do it for them. We know that is not a good way to raise our kids, by doing everything for them.
5 Back Off: to make sure Kids don't Become Resentful
When a mom hovers too much over her child, that could be a recipe for disaster. Over time, that child may not like his or her helicopter mom always being around. They may not like that their mom pushes into their life all the time.
And the older they get, the worse they may feel about it. Eventually, they may grow to resent their helicopter mom simply because of the actions she decided to take as a parent. This resentfulness can manifest in many ways and may make the child want nothing to do with their helicopter mom as they grow older.
4 Back Off: To teach kids about personal space
Going on the heels of being resentful towards their helicopter mom, these kids may find that they have absolutely had enough of their helicopter mom, and this can happen at any age.
If the helicopter mom becomes so overbearing, and so intensely hovering, that child may decide enough is enough. The helicopter mom has done it to herself.
Her own actions cause the child she loves and cares for so deeply to push far away from her. This is a sad reality, but it happens. Even though most helicopter moms hover with the best intentions, or at least what they perceive as best intentions.
3 Back Off: To let kids be their own person - instead of mom's mini-me
We have all heard about living vicariously through your child. Welcome to the world of the helicopter moms! We know that helicopter moms hover and have learned that they can create resentful and dependent children and young adults.
Another thing helicopter moms may be guilty of is conditioning their child to their liking.
Essentially, the child is them, and they are the child.
The child is not an independent being with likes, wants, and desires. Instead, she is a mini-me of her mom, whether she likes it or not! The child becomes a product of the helicopter mom, not her own independent self.
2 Back Off: To let them grow strong
Nope. We know that Kelly Clarkson song, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller” but not if you are a child of a helicopter mom!
This is because children who have the reality of a hovering mother never get a chance to experience bad things happening to them.
At the slightest inkling that something might go down, there is the helicopter mom rushing in to save the day. This song has real meaning. We all need to experience things that we don’t like or that are negative in order to grow and develop into productive members of society who have experienced things.
1 Back Off: To be a mother, not A SMother
Oh, the smother. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, someone thought to add an “s” to the word mother and therefore we have the dreaded smother.
A smother is exactly what she sounds like: a mother who smothers her offspring!
Helicopter moms could also be called smothers! Especially when her children have decided they do not want her to hover anymore, and she continues her helicopter like behavior. The smother is real, and helicopter moms, unfortunately, are all likely to be smothers along the way.
Physically, emotionally, and socially, helicopter moms are known to smother the kids they seem to love so much.
References: Very Well Parent, Babycenter, Zen Parent, Parents.com