A Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) is someone who looks after her children full time, forgoing the 'normal social life' of interacting with colleagues, customers, vendors, bosses, and even friends.
In fact, studies show that SAHMs interact most with their children. You can spot a SAHM a mile away. They carry themselves differently (messy hair buns, milk-stained shirts, mismatched shoes.... that might just be the latest fashion craze right now), they talk and walk differently (their conversation mainly revolves around what their kids had for lunch and the different kinds of detergent that are on sale) and most evidently, they share a special connection with their children that no other moms can ever comprehend.
Cue Moms from all walks of life raise their eyebrows and go: 'say what?'.
Now, this is not a comparison between the Full-Time Working-Moms or the Work-From-Home Moms. We're not here for any mom bashing.
It is undeniable that all moms have a special bond with their children but as we all know, each and every bond is unique and for SAHMs, they carry a different kind of bond with their children because of the additional time they get to spend together. Now don't start throwing eggs at us... SAHMs will have you know how expensive eggs can be.
First, take a look at the 10 ways that show how SAHMs will have a closer bond with their children...and because karma tends to go around... we also present to you 10 ways their kids sometimes have to pay for having a SAHM.
20 They Spend More Time Together
Studies show that SAHMs spend at least 40% more of their time with their children compared to their spouses.
From dawn to dusk, these mums tend to their children's breakfast, brunch, lunch, tea break, dinner and supper. Not to mention a majority of them play chauffeur, spa therapist, teacher, counselor and disciplinarian to the young ones.
So naturally, with so much time and exposure to mom, children would be more inclined to have a closer and deeper bond with them.
19 Mom Understands Baby's Likes and Dislikes More
Having spent so much time with the kids, a mother would unconsciously pick up their children's likes and dislikes, quirky habits and even know their deepest desires and fears.
One look from their child and the mother will know whether their kid can finish the apple crumble in one sitting or if their child will secretly stash away the bottle of cough syrup.
Heck, they can even write a thesis on the duration it takes for their child to finish a bowl of spaghetti versus a plate of meatloaf and broccoli. Ask them anything and these mums will prove to be a walking dictionary of their child's greatest love and revulsion.
18 Mom Gets to Play With Baby More
Playtime equals bonding time so the more you play with your child the closer they will be to you.
Take this scenario... A mom who plays with her smartphone while her child plays a toy bus by himself versus a mom who is engaged in playing together with her child. Who do you think gets more brownie points in the long run? Obviously the one with the smartphone. Kidding!
Too much screen time can create a barrier between mother and child so a mum who gets to play more with her kids would definitely create a warmer and more loving environment for her child to grow up in.
17 Mom Can Personally Cater To Baby's Menu
Instead of depending on the nanny or daycare center to feed their children, most stay at home moms tend to personally cook for their children. Either that or they buy take-out and pretend that they cook them.
The bottom line is, the mother knows exactly what goes into their children's bodies.
They will have a clearer picture of their children's food intake and will be able to tweak the upcoming meal plans for the next day or two. And if the mom loves dining with kings and clowns then their children would have no worries about burger supplies.
16 Mom and Baby Can Enjoy Outings Together
When the weather is fine and mom has spare time, then the stay at home mom can actually bring her child/children for picnics in the park, go jog around the neighborhood together and perhaps even enjoy a movie date or two together. Heck, mom and child can even tackle grocery shopping together.
It is perhaps these simple outings that the children enjoy the most and will remember for many years to come.
Fancy toys and gadgets might attract a child's attention for a few days but in the end, it is the simple but meaningful outings with mom that they will cherish the most.
15 Mom Personally Looks After Baby's Health
Children fall sick. A lot. Studies show that children below 5 years of age generally fall sick on an average of 5 to 6 times a year. That equates to sneezes and coughs every other month! And who would the children long for the most but their mother?
A mother's tender loving touch and attentive care can help even the weakest and most depressed child feel much better.
So children tend to lean on their moms, especially when the going gets tough. They call for mum for hugs, stories and even warm sips of chicken broth or ice chilled fruit juice. It's mom all the way to save the day.
14 Mom Can Teach Child ABCs
Being a stay at home mom means that the children's education rests heavily on your shoulders. Most financially-conscious SAHMs do not send their little ones for additional classes (this writer is guilty of being one hehe) and prefer to help with their children's homework themselves.
Go to a children's library and you can spot a number of moms accompanying their children. Some even go to great lengths in browsing through bookstores for storybooks and simple math and science help books for their kids! Talk about dedication!
13 Mom Can Impart Discipline Into Child
With their other half focusing on bringing home bread and butter, the stay at home mom basically becomes the disciplinarian.
They are unofficially put in charge in bringing up a well-disciplined human being who is respectful, responsible, filial, kind and gentle ( the list goes on and on but we'll stop here lest any mom starts freaking out on the immense responsibility of bringing up a little version of themselves).
Teaching a child ABCs is one thing but imparting wisdom is another and when our children grow up, they will surely thank us for all our years of nagging, timeouts, spankings, and groundings. At least, we think they will.
12 Child Will Mimic Mom More
People say that the more time you spend with someone, the more you will mimic their expressions and character. So when a child is practically clinging onto mommy like a koala bear 24/7, it would only be natural for him or her to pick up mom's habits and manners.
Little girls will usually end up inheriting more than a fair share of mummy's fashion sense while the boys might develop a love for the kitchen and even mom's OCD on cleaning up the house.
11 Mom and Child Have More Playdates
With more time focusing on the child, the child will get to enjoy more playdates with mom, be it a Barbie doll themed afternoon tea or an intergalactic space battle between The Power Rangers and The Avengers.
Whatever the imaginary theme may be, the bottom line is that the kids will get to experience a whole set of fun-filled days with mom that other kids do not have the luxury to. Hence the stronger bond.
Mom will get to know the secret hiding place for the Paw Patrol or even where Batman's secret cave is. Ask dad and they might just give you a dazed and confused look.
Where there is a 'Yin', there will always be a 'Yang' and in this case, we present to you 10 ways the kids will pay for having a SAHM....
10 Child Will See Most of Mom's Bad Habits
Being with our child day in and day out, there will be times when we will let our guards down. Gone will be the prim and proper behavior, the neatly combed hair and freshly washed face.
We'll probably fart in front of the kids, utter vulgarity at the driver who cut our lane and maybe even dig for 'gold' right in front of the little ones.
They will get to see the very things we try to teach them not to do. And if the saying 'actions speak louder than words' run true then our children will eventually question mummy's words and teachings.
9 Child Will Feel The Most of Mom's Wrath
With all the messes to pick up, the bathrooms to clean, the dishes to wash, the laundry to settle, the food to cook and the children to tame, a mother can definitely feel in over her head. So much so that they will need an outlet for their frustrations. And who better to feel the wrath and fury of an overworked and underappreciated mother than her very own children?
An angry mom may zoom in on the most minute of offenses that her children had committed and make a scene worthy of an Oscar buzz out of it.
So being with a stay at home mom isn't exactly a bed of roses.
8 Familiarity Breeds Contempt
However strong and deep a bond may be, there will be days when we simply cannot stand our children and vice versa.
Perhaps they will get bored of the same old meal day after day. Or perhaps being cooped up with mum at home gets boring. And maybe, even maybe a weekly trip to Walmart will lose its wonder so much so that hanging out with mom seems more of a chore than a blessing.
The same goes for moms too...however cute and adorable our little ones may be, they too can get under our skin and make us wish we were still living life on the fast lane.
7 Child Might Feel Suffocated With Mom's Presence
'Pick up your toys', 'Drink your water', 'Do your homework', 'Wash your hands'... all these gentle reminders (AKA: nagging) can be rather suffocating at times.
Just when our kids are settling down and getting deep into their character playing Lego, mom comes marching over demanding that they go pick up their crayons. Or even when they just want to relax and watch a little bit of Mickey on the tablet, mom will demand that they go and bathe.
Ahhh...the suffocation of living with one's parents. It only gets worse as they get older.
6 Child Might Not Be As Independent
Studies show that children who grow up with stay at home moms are less independent (not for all, but the numbers soar way above those who grew up with working moms).
Moms who stay at home are more likely to prepare home cooked meals, wash their children's clothes, send them and pick them up from school with vitamin gummies packed in their lunch boxes to boot. Most of these kids aren't even allowed to wander into the kitchen lest they 'make a mess or burn the kitchen down' ( according to the more extreme SAHMs).
So how on earth will they be able to learn to fend for themselves if everything is handed to them on a silver platter?
5 Child More Likely To Be Spoiled
Children who are waited on hand and foot are very likely going to end up spoiled.
Some stay at home moms feel guilty for spending too much time on the kitchen or that they keep taking out their frustrations on their children so much so that they try to compensate by being 'extra nice' to their children. Either that or they just don't know what the term 'spoil the kids' mean.
Constantly lavishing toys and cleaning up after a child's mess may be done out of love but in the long run, it simply does not benefit the kids. In fact, it'll be like helping the kids dig their own graves.
4 Child Might Be Less Sociable With Other Kids
Being constantly in mom's presence, coupled with the lack of exposure to other adults and children might render the childless sociable and more clingy towards mom. They will lack the skills to mix around and interact with others and would prefer to hang around their safety zone (aka never 5 feet away from mommy).
Now we're not saying that all children of stay at home moms will end up alone and being an introvert. No. There are many who are actually social butterflies but generally, children of stay at home moms will find it slightly more challenging to make new friends.
3 Child Might Pick Up Mom's Bad Habits
The good, the bad and the ugly. That's what children get to see in their stay at home moms.
And more often than not, children will pick up mom's bad habits. All the extreme selfies (oh don't I look cute wearing this apron while baking cupcakes...let me take a selfie), the hypocrisy ("Hey Mrs Hunt! You look good today," mom turns around and the sweet smile turns into a naughty snicker,"she's definitely has had too much work done.") and perhaps even laziness (leftovers and meatloaf are served every other day).
So there...being constantly in the presence of one's children might do them more harm than good.
2 Child Might Not Be Able To Bond With Dad
Even back during the age of the Neanderthals, children were more inclined to be closer to mom (dad would seldom be in the cave since he needed to hunt for food). And even now at this day and age, when a mother chooses to become a SAHM, she will play a similar role to her ancestors i.e the caretaker, the protector, and the food provider.
So in a young child's mind, mummy plays a more important role than dad and therefore they will stick and bond with mom more compared to dad, who only comes home late in the evenings after work.
1 Child Might Grow Up Thinking All Women Should Be SAHMs
Most kids form a perception about how male and female adults should act from a very young age.
Society, exposure to multimedia and the people around them will indirectly affect how they view men and women. If a child stays with a traditional stay at home mom then maybe he or she will grow up thinking that women should be submissive and spend the rest of their lives in the kitchen slaving away to make delicious and wholesome home cooked meals every single day. Scary thought, no?
References: Babycenter.com, Parenting.com