Birth order is definitely an interesting topic. Some people, including people with relevant educational credentials, believe that birth order plays a pivotal role in the development of personalities. Older children are seen as responsible leaders, while younger children are considered apter to bend the rules, and so on. Where does the middle child fit in?
Do middle children have it good or bad? It's actually a bit of both. Anyone who is a middle child or has a middle child will get value from the fascinating facts about why middle children have it the best...and some ways that they get the short end of the stick.
Reading about middle children will help people to get past all of the middle child stereotypes. These children are special. They grow up in the middle and learn to make their own way and develop their own senses of self. They sometimes don't get the attention that their older and younger siblings do, so they learn to build their own lives. There is a lot to appreciate about middle children, including their optimistic outlook as they tend to look on the bright side in life.
20 Have It The Best: They Get Away With Stuff
Since parents are often focused on their other kids, the middle child has the ability to go unnoticed, and this helps the middle child to get away with things.
If no one's watching, it's easier to do what you want, even if you break a rule.
According to Psychologytoday.com, middle kids don't feel the same pressure to fit in with people's ideas of what they should be like other kids. If you have a middle child, make every effort to give your son or daughter a lot of attention. Remember that middle kids need you, just like your other kids. But don't worry too much. These kids enjoy being under the radar sometimes.
19 Short End Of The Stick: They May Develop Middle Child Syndrome
Bear in mind that there are drawbacks with any birth order placement. Oldest kids may feel burdened with adult responsibilities too early. Youngest children may be a little bit spoiled and lack the maturity of their older siblings, even when they become teens or adults.
There are pros and cons with everything in life, including birth order.
Middle children have a tendency to develop "middle child syndrome", which is the feeling of being excluded from their own families, according to Wikipedia. As a parent, you should educate yourself about this syndrome and try to make sure that it doesn't happen to your middle child.
18 Have It The Best: They Develop Their Personalities
Since the firstborn is older, the middle child will watch an older brother or sister develop as a person. In response to the older child's personality, the middle child will typically go in another direction. In fact, a middle child may find a role for him or herself that is totally different from the role filled by the oldest child, according to Parents.com.
If the oldest child is a people-pleaser, a middle child might become a bit edgier.
Middle children's personalities are formed, at least in part, by their perceptions of their older siblings. A middle child may become someone very special, just to get attention and find his or her place.
17 Short End Of The Stick: They May Feel Overlooked
Middle children tend to feel overlooked and undervalued, according to Thisisinsider.com. They want attention and praise, just like other kids, but may feel like they need to take action to get it because their older and younger siblings get a lot of attention (usually, without trying).
Middle children may not want to get into disputes to get attention. They are mediators who want to get along.
They are used to sharing and making peace. So, they may get sad if they feel that others aren't giving them enough love and attention. As a parent, you can do so much to make your child feel seen and valued. One-on-one time with your son or daughter will help a lot.
16 Have It The Best: They Are Natural Mediators
When you're in the middle, you need to learn how to negotiate with both sides. You need to learn how to relate to an older sibling and a younger one.
The work that middle children do to get along with their brothers and sisters turns these middle kids into wonderful mediators. They are quite adept at seeing both sides of the story and come up with workable solutions. According to Psychologytoday.com, middle kids are very savvy when it comes to mediation. They retain their negotiation skills as they grow up and often become very successful managers because of their ability to work with people.
15 Short End Of The Stick: They May Become Too Determined And Driven
A childhood spent trying to get attention, and perhaps not succeeding some of the time, may cause a middle child to become a little too determined and driven.
Middle children may overcompensate by becoming too focused on achieving goals, according to Psychologytoday.com.
While the stereotypes about middle children often include the belief that they aren't very motivated, this really isn't the case. These kids do want to succeed and may become too focused on their quests for achievement.
Help your middle child just by giving him or her your unconditional love. Lots of attention will be good, too. Your middle child needs to know that he or she is valuable, whether successful or not.
14 Have It The Best: They Are Able To Compromise
To get along in the family, middle children have to embrace the art of compromise. They need to strike a balance between getting their own needs met and making their siblings and parents happy. According to Rd.com,
Middle children don't know anything but sharing. They've never been on their own with their parents.
Since they do learn to share their time and space with siblings, as well as sharing the love of their parents with brothers and sisters, they know how to compromise. These children are natural collaborators who can back down when they need to, with a mind to keeping the peace.
13 Short End Of The Stick: They May Put Themselves Second
Since these children are diplomatic and mostly peaceful, they may end up putting themselves second. They are humble enough to take a backseat to their siblings but may do so too often.
Middle children shouldn't have to take a backseat to brothers and sisters all of the time. That just isn't fair.
They deserve the same amount of attention and love. According to Parents.com, these children are typically very mild-mannered. It's up to you as a Mom to make sure that your child gets the same treatment as the other kids, and that your other children don't walk all over your middle child.
12 Have It The Best: They Are Always Optimists
If you have a middle child...congratulations. Your middle kid is probably a very optimistic and charming child.
Middle children are renowned for their optimism, according to the Huffingtonpost.ca. An optimistic attitude is beneficial in life. People who believe that things are going to work out well tend to send out positive energy to other people. They then receive positive energy in return.
To make the most of your child's natural optimism, make sure that he or she gets plenty of your love, even when you're busy.
Remember that your middle child occasionally feels invisible, even though he or she is positive in general.
11 Short End Of The Stick: They May Get Upset If They Feel That Things Aren't Fair
Since things sometimes aren't fair for middle kids because their siblings often get more attention, it's not surprising that they get a bit huffy when they experience unfairness. It's actually a logical response and totally understandable.
They aren't wrong to get upset about it.
Of course, there are families where middle children get the same treatment as other kids. That's the way it should be. Unfortunately, some families do fall into birth order patterns, by overlooking their middle children and heaping attention on the oldest and youngest kids. According to Psychologytoday.com, middle children are willing to mediate and compromise, but they shouldn't have to deal with unfairness.
10 Have It The Best: They Are The Calmest Kids In The Family
With an assertive older sibling on one side and a demonstrative younger sibling on the other side, the middle child usually chooses to remain very calm, according to Thoughtcatalog.com. That's a middle child's way of staying in control. Since they are calm, they have a gift for calming down other people, including frazzled parents and moody, temperamental siblings.
The middle child is generally a very soothing presence in the family. He or she is willing to fade into the background a bit and let older and younger siblings take the spotlight. There is a lot of strength in being confident enough to be calm, cool and collected.
9 Short End Of The Stick: They May Have Lower Self-Esteem
Since middle kids grow up with siblings who grab attention with ease, they may feel like lesser beings, simply because it's not so easy for them to get attention. They may be conscious of not having the same strong roles in their families as oldest and youngest kids.
Middle children who show signs of low self-esteem need love and attention. They need to be seen and heard.
It's not uncommon for middle children to have lower self-esteem than their siblings, according to Psychologytoday.com, which is really unfortunate. This low self-esteem may drive them to high achievement down the line, but it still upsets them.
8 Have It The Best: They Tend To Overachieve
Since they are sometimes overshadowed by older and younger siblings, middle children like to excel when they can.
They may become very high achievers, according to the Dailymail.co.uk. When they do achieve, they get attention on their own merits. Attention is something which is otherwise occasionally available in short supply.
It's very common for middle kids to be high achievers, who make their families very proud. They love to do well because it means they will receive positive attention. Doing well also reinforces their sense of self. To support your middle child's ambitions, which may start young, you should encourage his or her hobbies and offer help with academics.
7 Short End Of The Stick: They Have To Wear Hand-Me-Downs
Middle kids often wear their older sibling's hand-me-downs, according to Scarymommy.com. Middle kids may wish that they could have clothes, shoes, and backpacks that are brand-new. Unfortunately, many families need to economize by re-using clothing and accessories for middle children.
To make your middle child feel special, make sure that he or she has a shopping trip with you once in a while. It doesn't have to a regular thing. Maybe you could take your middle child to buy some new clothes and shoes a couple of times a year. A child is going to want to pick out things that suit his or her tastes.
6 Have It The Best: They Are Able To Be Themselves
Middle kids develop as people because they have to. If they don't, they get lost in the fray. Older and younger siblings may hog all of the attention, due to their strong personalities.
What's interesting is that getting less attention often leads a middle child to develop a good sense of themselves much quicker.
Middle children are able to be themselves because their other siblings have distinct roles in the family. Middle kids are able to experiment and find out who they really are. They aren't locked into younger or older sibling roles. According to Prevention.com, they are not too dependent. They learn to depend on themselves.
5 Short End Of The Stick: They May Get The Blame For Problems With Siblings
A middle child may become a target for blame when it comes to issues with his or her brothers and/or sisters, according to Faze.ca. As a mom, you need to listen carefully to your children before deciding where to assign blame, if assigning blame seems appropriate.
If you find that your middle child is getting the blame a lot of the time, he or she may be getting the short end of the stick. A middle child may end up getting blamed for stuff he or she hasn't even done and this isn't right. Make a point of giving your middle child a voice when there are problems.
4 Have It The Best: They Usually Have Great Social Skills
When you grow up in the middle, you develop superior social skills that you may use to build a happy life in your teens and adulthood, according to Goodhousekeeping.com.
While the self-esteem of middle children may wobble now and then, they do know how to get along with others as a result of learning the ropes at home.
Great social skills open up so many opportunities. Kids with good social skills may grow up to lead teams at work, or sway the public, or become public figures. They might do PR, or become therapists who use their communication skills to help other people.
3 Short End Of The Stick: They May Target Older And Younger Siblings
Since middle children have a meek and mild reputation, a lot of people are surprised to learn that they are a bit more likely to be less-than-cordial than their older brothers or sisters. It is a little bit surprising, but it's true, according to the Dailymail.co.uk. If you see any ruffian behavior from your middle child, nip it in the bud.
Acting in such a way toward others isn't any more acceptable at home, among children, than it is in the workplace or in schools. It's the kind of behavior that is a red flag. Your middle child needs to find healthier ways to vent than picking on his siblings.
2 Have It The Best: They Think Outside The Box
Since they aren't locked into the oldest kid or youngest kid roles, "middles" have the power to explore. They develop the capacity to think outside of the box, according to the Huffingtonpost.com. Thinking independently can lead to huge breakthroughs.
Middle children might invent things, or do great creative work that is original and inspiring. They might look at existing systems in the world and figure out how to make them better.
These visionary children color outside of the lines. Inventive thinking is a powerful thing. It can change the world for the better. Nurture your child's inventive mind by discussing world events and new innovations.
1 Short End Of The Stick: They Have To Be Too Independent
Do middle children get forced into independence before they are ready because they don't get the same amount of attention as their siblings? It's possible.
However, they usually flourish later in life, thanks to their slick social skills and ability to compromise. Middle children do learn to do it alone. They are very independent people, according to Psychologytoday.com.
As a mom, you need to ask yourself, "Is my child getting everything that he or she needs from me?"
If he or she is, then you probably don't have anything to worry about. Your middle child will probably do very well in life.
References: Psychologytoday.com, Parents.com, Huffingtonpost.ca, Dailymail.co.uk