10 Things Women Won't Remember After The Delivery (And 10 She Can Never Forget)

Ahhh....life before and life after children...such a vast and drastic difference. Most of the time after the little tyrants have evicted our wombs and made their grand entrance into this world, we will usually only be able to look back at the good old days with a glazed view. There will be things we remember fondly from before the delivery and there will be memories our minds would have locked up in the lost files.

So it is not uncommon for many women to claim that they have absolutely no recollection of how their pregnancy days were... how it felt to recoil from their favorite Mac and Cheese, how swollen their feet were and the vulgarities they screamed in the delivery room (so much so that the doctors blacklisted them for future deliveries).

The odd thing is most of the memories that have been omitted after the delivery are usually the more excruciating and embarrassing ones. Perhaps it is nature's way to lure and trick us in continuing to repopulate the earth.

And just as there are things that women tend to forget after the birth of their children, there would also be things that these women simply cannot forget, like how svelte they once were and how good it felt to sleep in late without having to tend to any crying tots.

So, here is a list of what we tend to forget and the memories we hold on long after our children have grown up.

20 The Cravings

Honestly, with the hormones going crazy and the plethora of emotions surrounding our already tired brain and body, would we really remember how it was during the early days of the pregnancy? Most of us don't even remember what we craved for during our first trimester.

Sugar on broccoli? Pepsi with ice cream? Bacon-wrapped shrimp? Really?

Most of the time we have to be reminded of what our pregnancy cravings were. In the midst of feeding the baby and cleaning up their poop, who has time to process all the weird but delicious food we once enjoyed?

19 The Moodswings

If someone were to tell us that we had mood swings during our pregnancy (you know, from crying over spilled milk to suddenly laughing like a mad woman at uncle Tom's eulogy), we would probably deny it. Vehemently. Surely we behaved in the most sensible and mature manner during the days of our pregnancy.

Emotional outbursts? Please, that definitely wasn't us. It was probably someone who looked and sounded like us but definitely not us. Uh-uh. Period.

18 Delivery Pains

Oh, the pain. It must have been excruciating. Research claims that the pain a woman experiences during labor is equivalent to having one's spine broken over and over for at least ten times.

And yet, if the pain was unbearable, why do countless women bear more than one child? Heck, many of our ancestors survived bearing more than an average of 10 kids during their lifetime.

Why is that so? Because ladies, as much as we have evolved over the centuries, our supposedly smart brain still becomes catatonic when it comes to remembering labor pains. We simply forget how bad it was, so much so that we get lured into having more and more children. Ahhh...how sneaky art thou o mother nature.

17 When The Water Broke

Most of us don't remember when and where our water broke either.

And even if we did, the memories are vague and blurry. As if seen through a tainted glass. Did it break while we were sleeping or was it during a little shopping spree downtown? What were we wearing at that time? How did we manage to move from the bathroom and haul ourselves to the hospital? Did we panic or were we a picture of serenity?

While some women can remember how it was when the water broke, most of us simply cannot recall the life-changing moment.

16 The Profanities She Screamed In The Delivery Room

When in pain and utmost stress, we tend to do and say things that we forget later on. Like screaming profanities at the doctor and nurses who were helping to deliver our baby. Or when we ripped off our spouse's hair when wave upon wave of contractions came. Or perhaps we swore we would burn down the hospital and stared daggers at the nurse.

It is probably best that we forget these embarrassing times. And even if we do remember, let's just pretend that we don't and try never to ever bump into any of the hospital staff that we had ever given death threats to in the delivery theater. It is better that way.

15 What The Doctor Said

The gynecologist would definitely have rambled off a list of things to do and not to do prior to the arrival of our baby.

In all honesty, we might have diligently tried to jot them down or store the vital information somewhere in our brain but some reason, right after the birth of our baby, all the advice that the doctor had previously given us flies out the window. And for good reason, too. We would have been swimming in information amidst the birth of our child. And with all the energy focused on the baby, who can remember that one should get at least 8 hours of sleep and that one should avoid carrying the baby right after a c-section.

That information just seemed so trivial after the little one comes to our world.

14 The Backache

Most of the time, we forget what pregnancy backaches were like. We won't remember having trouble sleeping at night even with the multitudes of propped pillows to ease the ache.

All we can remember now is the muscle ache from bending over to pick up the baby or the muscle pain from having carried the baby for too long.

These little ones are extremely sensitive. y'know. Put them down and they can cry like nobody's business. So backaches? Nope.

We definitely do not recall much of it. And even if we do, we'll probably laugh it off. What is pregnancy backache compared to the strain and pain right now? It's like comparing a mountain to a molehill.

13 The Swollen Hands and Legs

If we look back at our pregnancy photos we might gasp at how swollen our hands and feet looked. In fact, they didn't look like hands and feet at all, more like an elephant's trunk.

One mother even insisted her pregnant photos with swollen hands and feet were photoshopped out of proportions. Did we really swell that much? And whose one size up flat soles do these belong to? Surely not ours? Our brain insists that such a thing never happened and the claim to our ballooned up hands and feet are but a mere conspiracy by our friends and family to mess with our already frazzled minds.

12 The Spider Veins

Were we really plagued with spider veins? Most of us can't even remember ever seeing one on our bodies before the birth of our kids. If we had them, surely we would remember them no? I mean, wouldn't we? Well, the answer is no.

Our brain has the ability to either wipe out all unpleasant memories that we had experienced during the pregnancy period so as to encourage more procreation to occur.

If we were all capable of remembering all the gross details then moms would probably quit after having just one child.

11 The Old Wardrobe

Take a look in the mirror. Notice the milk stained and crumpled oversized t-shirt you're wearing? Doesn't really bother you, does it?

Not when you have a clingy koala bear who constantly gnaws at your boobs for milk and cries if you put him or her down. The messy attire now defines us.

Now go look in your wardrobe. Notice all the skinny jeans and power suits? Or even the off shoulder romper and body hugging little black dress? Who do these belong to? Did they really belong to you or did some supermodel hijack your wardrobe and stuff all her eye-popping and mouth-watering attire in your closet?

10 She Can Never Forget

10 Baby's First Cries

A baby's first cry. Who can ever forget that? It was a sacred moment. A moment we had been feverishly waiting for, for the past 9 months.  Ahhh, how we loved the sweet sound of their high pitched wails. It was like music to our ears.

Some of us probably had the first cry recorded while others would have had this moment etched into their brain for them to fondly remember for years to come.

Fast forward to the present day and we wish they'd just stop crying. One sob and we impose a timeout or have them scolded and grounded. Heh.

Not exactly the sound of music anymore, eh?

9 Holding Baby For The First Time

Remember the moment when our baby was first placed in our arms as we gingerly held them to our cheeks? Remember the warmth of their tiny little bodies as we snuggled them near? Remember how happy and relieved we were that our baby came out fine and healthy? (Nevermind the fact that we were tired and in pain.) And how we secretly promised to love and keep them safe for the rest of our lives?

That defining moment when we first held onto our child. No one can ever forget that.

8 Baby's First Feed

One of the many 'firsts' that mothers cannot forget is the time when they first fed their babies. Regardless of whether the baby was bottle fed or exclusively fed by direct latching,  mothers remember that moment for the rest of their lives.

From the time when the baby gently but hungrily nibbled and sucked on her, to when they finally found the right spot and how they gulped down their first feed.

And who can forget the gentle burping of our babies after the had finished their first feed? How easy it was to get them to feed then... nowadays they have to be threatened and blackmailed into finishing their lunch and dinner. Ahhh...the good old days.

7 Baby's First Poop

Like many parents, we eagerly waited for our baby's first poop. It was vital for our baby to be able to discharge the first stool that was jam-packed with materials they had ingested in utero.

We would worry and pace around, calling and annoying the heck out of the pediatrician when baby had not pooped within the first day or two.

And when they did, some of us even snapped photos of the meconium and had the photo printed and saved in the baby book... Wow, talk about excitement.

6 The First Fight After Baby Was Born

Every seasoned parent would have you know that couples fight more often after the birth of a baby. But no one truly prepared us for the ride of that emotional roller coaster. No one told us how our hearts could break and be shattered into a thousand pieces from the fight with our SO. (And over things as trivial as who should put the baby to bed on a Sunday night or who made the baby cry.)

We forever remember the first tear rolling down our cheeks as we tried to hold back on crying for fear of making the baby even more cranky. Not exactly the best memories to have but the fights definitely led us to understand our spouses more.

5 Life Before Baby

Remember when life encompassed just the two of you? Remember how young the both of you were and how your passion for one another burned so brightly? Who can forget a time when midnight snacks and late movies were the norm? And do you miss the snuggles you had on the clutter-free sofa?

No squeaky toys in between and no wailing toddler tugging at your feet.  And what about breakfast in bed? Or those days of serenity when you bemoaned how dull life was without the sounds of little feet. Well...now you know. Heh.

4 Baby's First Smile

One of the memories that will forever be etched in our minds (probably even long after we grow old, cranky and senile) would be our child's first smile.

It could have been something as simple and innocent as a little smile while they slept away in our arms or when they saw us and a smile formed on their faces.

Oh how our hearts leaped for joy at how our little one smiled. Nowadays when they smile, we'll start worrying about what it means. Did they do something wrong? Are they sneaking out in the middle of the night for a rendezvous with their boyfriend or girlfriend? Ahh...the angst of having children.

3 Baby's First Flu / Fever

Oh, remember the nights we spent worrying over our child's first flu and fever? How we kept reading their temperature and feeling their foreheads? How we rubbed vicks onto their tiny little feet and chest to ease the congestion?

And remember how we fretted when they had no appetite for a delicious home cooked chicken broth or how we almost cried when they kept throwing up whatever they ate?

How helpless we felt. Sometimes we worried so much we ourselves fell sick in the end.

2 The Hospital Bills

One of the first things to tackle right after the delivery would be (no, not the baby) the hospital bills.

Remember how our eyes almost popped out of the sockets when we saw the number of zeros on the bill?

Remember swearing all the way back from the hospital and silently wishing we could set fire to the building? Ahh... some of us even took snapshots of the bill and had them added to the 'favourites' folder as a 'gentle reminder ' not to have any more babies.

1 When She Found Out About The Pregnancy

How can we ever forget 'that' moment? The moment when we found out we were blessed with a baby?

Remember feeling weird all week and missing out of your period? Remember peeing onto the tester and eagerly anticipating the results? Remember how you screamed when two pink stripes appeared on the tester? Most of us do.

It was the moment that defined who we are today. The moment we became a mom. Some of us even took to the social media to make the announcement and relished in the thought of going on a baby shopping spree. Ahh...those were the days.

References: Wikipedia, Babycenter.com, Parenting.com

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