Children are the most precious things in their parents lives, and above all, every mom just wants them to be happy, healthy, and safe. Although motherhood is a wonderful experience, few mothers will say that it’s an easy one; struggling to find a balance between a hectic work schedule and their children's demands is tough. This is why hiring a live-in nanny is so appealing; they come into a home and take control, they offer flexibility and convenience, and they provide the support some families need when they feel like they can no longer cope.
Parents who have good nannies will say that this is the best decision they have ever made, but then there are other moms who refuse to share their children with someone else out of fear that their child may end up loving this other caretaker more. There are drawbacks to hiring a nanny, including guilt, and the fact that this type of childcare can be costly, which is why this is not a decision that can be made overnight.
Below are 10 reasons why there is no crime in having a nanny, and then 10 reasons why moms prefer to do it on their own.
20 Being A Mother Is Not Easy
Perhaps one of the most convincing reasons to get a nanny is because despite motherhood being a beautiful and rewarding journey, it’s definitely not easy. Others may try to understand, but unless they’ve walked a mile in your shoes, they just don’t get it.
An honest blog post on Huffington Post recounts a mom’s story of how she just couldn’t cope without help when she had her twins. It's a reminder that every person's experience of motherhood is different, and while some women want to do it on their own, there is no shame in admitting you need help.
19 For Working Mothers, A Nanny Is Sometimes The Only Option
For many working moms leaving their child behind every day pulls on their heartstrings, but oftentimes it’s the only option. And when leaving for work, you want to know that your child’s needs are taken care of so that you can concentrate on your job, instead of having to stress about what’s going on at home.
Also, if your family depends on you to provide for them, you cannot work 40+ hours per week without having someone you can trust caring for your children.
18 You Won’t Be So Burnt Out And Can Focus On Your Children
This may seem like an odd point because the whole point of a nanny is having someone else who can focus on your children when you are not able to. But if you are rested and not being pulled in a hundred different directions, then you will have more time to focus on the things that matter: your kids.
Very Well Family reports that mommy burnout is a very real thing and that a nanny will give moms a much-needed break. From the kids to the household chores, a nanny will leave you free to focus on your children without having to remember to do 101 other things.
17 There's Relief In Knowing You Don’t Have To Do It All Alone
Every journey into motherhood is different. While some moms are able to do it all on their own and don’t want the help, others need it. Asking for help and admitting that you cannot raise your child alone is nothing to feel guilty about. In fact, Very Well Family notes that in ancient civilizations, like Greece, multiple family members lived under one roof and helped out with the caring of the children.
Things may be a little different now, but the general idea is the same. Many moms have their family as a support system, but if you do not live anywhere near your family, then a nanny could be the solution.
16 She Can Become Your Companion And Confidant, Too
You’re going to be living in the same home as this woman you’ve hired to take care of your children, and she may become your companion and confidant, too. According to Very Well Family, the right nanny can become a part of your household, and seeing this woman every day may help you form a connection, especially since both of your goals are to care for your children.
That said, a nanny is always your employee first, and should not be taken advantage of.
15 You Can Benefit From The Flexibility And Convenience
If you are weighing up the options between daycare and hiring a nanny, then the latter is definitely more flexible and convenient, because as Care notes, a nanny works from home. For example, if you’re in the middle of something and you need to suddenly rush out to fetch the kids from school, or if you have an appointment you need to be at but your children are not ready and are making you late, these are times you can benefit from having a nanny who can step in and take over the task.
14 Most Nannies Will Provide Developmentally Appropriate Activities
Providing your child with entertainment can be tough, and oftentimes you don’t have the time to create games or activities that can intellectually stimulate your children, but nannies do, and they can. According to Care, nannies are experienced caregivers who are trained to provide children with the best care possible. A nanny will also provide your child with activities that can help them to develop and grow, and, as the publication notes, these can be tailored to each individual child’s needs.
13 Your Kids Get To Stay At Home And Can Develop A Regular Routine
According to Selfish Mother, one of the major pros when it comes to hiring a nanny is that your kids will be able to stay in their own home. There are many benefits to daycare, but if your child is shy or has a hard time adapting to change, then the publication reports they could really benefit from being in a familiar environment.
Also, Care notes that if your child is feeling unwell, they are able to stay home in the comfort of their own bed, and get better while being watched by someone you trust.
12 You Don’t Have To Stress To Find A Babysitter
Finding a babysitter you trust can be a hard task, but finding one that you trust and is available whenever you need her is almost impossible. The difference with a nanny is you already trust her and have an agreed schedule, so if you need someone to take care of your kids, she is going to be there.
According to International Nannies, as long as a nanny’s babysitting duties do not exceed her full-time hours, you can use her when you really need to someone to step in in the evenings.
11 The Kids Get To Learn From Another Strong Woman
In most cases, Motherhood Center notes that a nanny has no other children to take care of so your children's personal needs are not overlooked. This one-on-one care that your nanny provides is of comfort to many mothers because their needs are being put first, always. But nannies are also like a third parent, whose focus is on your children’s well-being — providing the best possible care, International Nannies reports.
Your nanny is going to call the shots at times and she will be there to discipline and help raise your children, who can also learn from her.
10 You Start To Depend On Only One Person And That Can Be Hard
Depending on one person can be hard, and although most nannies are incredibly reliable and accountable, Care notes that when your nanny is sick, or if she needs to take time off for some reason, this could create a very stressful situation.
If this happens, there is usually no one else available to care for your children, and this will result in one of the parents having to take time off work to care for the kids — unless you have a really great backup plan.
9 The Nanny Could Get Overly Attached To Your Child
You are not going to need a nanny in your life forever, and when her job is done you are going to have to part ways. According to Care, this can be an emotional and difficult decision because the nanny and your little one would have probably already formed an attachment.
But that’s not the worst scenario, it can also be painful for moms when, for example, their child gets hurt and reaches for the nanny instead of them. According to Forbes, a woman named Cameron Macdonald penned a book called Shadow Mothers, in which she discussed the jealousy mothers feel when their child and their caregiver form an attachment.
8 Not Everyone Can Afford Spending Extra Cash On Hired Help
Having a nanny is a luxury, and you will end up paying for it. Although hiring a nanny may be the smart decision, financially it is one of the most expensive childcare options out there, and according to Baby Center, a survey done by the International Nanny Association revealed that the average pay for a nanny was around $700 a week, and that figure could change depending on where you live.
This works out to be quite a lot of money each month and it may not be something you can afford.
7 You Want To Be The One Who Spends The Most Time With The Kids
As a mom, hiring a nanny is no easy decision, and while some women feel it’s the best thing they can do for both themselves and their family, others refuse to have another woman care for their children. According to a blog post on Mom.me, a mother discussed why she doesn’t want a nanny raising her kids, and among the reasons she listed was jealousy. Apparently, she wanted to be the person who gets to spend the most time with her children while they are young.
6 Problems Can Arise When You’re Sharing The Same Living Space
When you invite someone to live in your home, no matter how well you get on, it's likely that there will be some things that will take some getting used to, as you both adjust to this new environment. According to Care, live-in nannies are like family, and because of this, this problems and conflicts could arise.
Plus, the hardest thing is you are not able to distance yourself from this woman and ask her to go home because she is living under the same roof.
5 Some Moms Think Their Child Ends Up Loving The Nanny More
There will be times when moms look at their nanny with their children and contemplate whether they love her more. According to an article on Mom.me, a woman has written about how her daughter loves the nanny more than her, and this stings. A lot.
According to an honest article on Momtastic, some moms have even admitted that they would fire their nanny if they felt that their child likes her too much.
But, this could also be taken as a positive; you have found great childcare and you’re leaving your children with someone they really care for, and who cares for them.
4 Things Get Awkward When Multiple People Are Trying To Parent At Once
Having a live-in-nanny could create parenting conflicts because your partner, your nanny, and yourself, are all trying to parent and the approach to parenting can differ from person to person. According to Very Well Family, you and your nanny could disagree on parenting topics, like discipline or sleeping, and this could create a very awkward situation if you are not both on the same page.
The publication also notes that consistency is incredibly important for child development, and you need to find someone who shares your views.
3 If You Don’t Always Need Her, Are You Paying Too Much?
When you have a nanny, you are the employer and all responsibilities in this sense fall on your shoulders. So, when you no longer need your nanny full-time because your requirements have changed, this can be an awkward discussion to have.
You may need to cut back to part-time, but fewer hours and less pay could provide less of an incentive for her to stick around, Care reports. And Daily Worth notes that the decision to break up with your nanny is not an easy one. In fact, according to the mom writing the post, it was one of the hardest decisions.
2 It’s Hard To Trust Someone Else With The Most Precious Person In Your Life
Your child is incredibly precious and you want what’s best for them; whether it’s daycare, babysitting, or the hiring of a nanny, or doing it on your own.
If you're not doing it on your own, it can be incredibly hard to trust someone and let them into your child’s life. According to Top Nanny, trusting is not easy and it will take time to get used to this new person in your life. However, the publication notes that often the lack of trust or concerns about how your nanny is doing things is an issue to discuss with her. Or if you feel your nanny is manipulating your child and causing them to like the nanny more, this could be stemming from jealousy. Whatever the reason, trust does not happen overnight.
1 A Nanny Could Compromise Your Privacy In Your Own Home
If you’ve decided to hire a live-in nanny, you cannot send her away whenever you feel like some alone time, or time just with the family. Of course, when you hire her you can set out some rules, for example, if you will eat meals together every night or if there are some nights reserved for family time. But the fact of the matter is that you will be living in close quarters with this person and she will learn everything about you.